Days in the hospital

My mother-in-law is 80 years old, and she is half-paralyzed for a decade. My partner is the oldest among 6 siblings, he had two sisters but in the other country that's why we are the one who is responsible in taking care of their mother. We are together for almost five years and we have a 3-year-old boy. In the past few years, her mother had a caregiver but we are lucky enough if her caregiver lasts for 3 months, it is automatic for us that if the caregiver leaves, we are in again.

April 5, 2020

We took my mother-in-law to the hospital because she always has body pain and she cannot take it any longer, most of the time she cried and want to die. That time we are amid high cases of coronavirus every member of the family is scared and even if they say nothing we know we are the ones who will take her to the hospital.That moment I was mental block because my son is only 2 years and a half and I will be the one who will go to the hospital and being exposed, all I have that time is the courage that God will never allow me to be in a bad condition, I am doing it for sake of my mother-in-law.

At the emergency room I was the only one who answers all the questions about her maintenance and when did it start.

I saw my mother-in-law crying and saying she is worried about my son but I calm her down that is my strength to hide my weakness, wherever I was surrounded by the people who it feels week I gain my strength because somebody needs it.

The doctors said she needs to be observed for a few days, and that night I was the only one who can take care of her.

I did not sleep that night because of the fear as much as possible I diverted my attention that it will take a few days.

April 6, 2020

When I bought something in the cafeteria someone talking on the phone saying that her mother is positive and we are in the same building, my heart is beating so fast that time and suddenly my tears are flowing I had nobody to tell what I feel that time, in my mind if I told my partner about it he will also worry for me. I close my eyes and begin to pray and for a minute I went back to the room and as if I am okay.

April 7, 2020

All the laboratory exams came and the doctor said that her uric acid is so high that's why she feels pain, there is a lot of medication to be given most are capsules. My mother-in-law cried and tell me that she wanted to go home but I told her that the doctor said she needs to be observed for another day.

April 8, 2020

After she took the medicine she vomits because of the medications and requested if there is a liquid form of that drugs because every time she takes it she vomits. I feel exhausted at that time because my partner is calling me and my son want me to go home, my son is crying in silence he just saw my son in the corner telling where is mommy? and then my mother-in-law feels helpless. That day ended with a very heartbreaking moment when my son called and told me to come home.

April 9, 2020

When the doctor came into our room my mother-in-law cried asking if we can go home the doctor said that okay and then I settle all the accounts and called my partner to that we are going home. We arrive at home almost dinner I was so weak at that time but I really need to be strong not just for myself but for my family.

There is a part two of her hospitalization and its been a year since it happens and until now we are the ones who took care of her and I was blessed that I did not get the virus but that whole year of anxiety for me.