“You're a Gem, You are Unique”

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Avatar for eommaZel
2 years ago

August 8, 2021
Sunday

In this society we live in sometimes I asked myself, why am I so different?
Why I couldn’t do what others can?
Why I was born into an incomplete family?
Why am I like this?

Those were just some of the questions lingering in my head when I was a kid. As I grow up, I considered myself to be different from others. Being so skinny and a girl who grew up without a mother made me think I am completely different that I don’t belong to the society I am living at.

I wore mostly plain tees because my dad has bad taste when it comes to girls' fashion and I never had my hair groomed by a lady which made other of my playmates teased me as a “Tomboy”.

But everyone constantly observed my slim bones, and only a few acknowledge me as a person as a whole. In every reunion or gathering we had, may it be a family reunion or a school activity; people looked at me differently because I am so thin. Those made me build up insecurities when I was a kid.

Their sharp eyes looking at me seems to laugh deep inside, they didn't know that with those judging eyes my insecurities were slowly getting bigger while my confidence was slowly fading.

I was raised and grew up being always compared with the other kids, that my skills and I were a kid was too lousy compared to others and other people even my relatives always said that I am not eating well, that I am a choosy eater and malnourished even I am not. Yes, I am too thin as bones but I have never been into feeding programs because my weight and height were completely normal back then.

However, they kept telling me those words because I am not matched with their standards. That’s how I grew up accumulating low self-esteem as a young.

I grew up dwelling with their harsh words against me especially with my physical appearance. Some told me I am like a skeleton, just bones covered with skin. And I sometimes blame myself because of it. I am not a picky eater, to be honest, but as I grew up with my dad who doesn’t know how to cook a meal, he mostly provides us with instant goods such as can goods and intact noodles. We seldom have a nice viand at our table because no one is cooking for us.

But then, I never blamed him, I understood his situation in my young mind. He’s a teacher and needs to work early in the morning, without a wife taking care of his needs. So it’s understandable that he can’t cook us proper meals.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I grew up too skinny, then as time goes by, I get used to the words others tossing at me and just accept the fact that I am really thin like a skeleton.

Funny it seems but I am deeply hurt. As a girl slowly turning into a lady, I am not aging like a fine wine just like any Korean actress I watched.

As I saw my body gently turns into a lady I felt even more insecure. I am still skinny, some say it’s within our bloodline but then others just can’t accept that. I am still a girl, who looks undernourished in their eyes,

Seriously I had lived myself in shame and embarrassment because of it. Because I saw how others laughed and made fun of me, I even do it with myself.

Then self-blame and self-pity just grow bigger and bigger, then I found a way to relieve my hurt feelings, I am hooked with anime.

It was a nice diverting of attention, I found a new hobby and a new friend in the form of anime characters I am watching. I felt I was in a completely different world. And I wanted to do cosplay too, to escape from the wicked world I am in. But then being a cosplayer is only a dream that remained untouched until today.

I just lived normally just like the others but my music playlist was made up of mostly Japanese songs, some official soundtracks of Naruto Shippuden, and other animes I liked.

Then when some of my classmates found out about it, some said I am weird and some said I am cool. They even want me to sing some Japanese songs after they found out that I memorized all the lyrics.

As time goes by, people around me forgot to talk about my physique. Then as I became a high school student, I am surprised others recognized my physical appearance. They were my new classmates and they always gave me compliments. They love my skinny figure and even said the nicest words about it. They never gave me insecurities by accepting me for who I really am.

Then starting that day, I realized I don’t have to try hard just t be accepted. That it is okay to be different because there will be people who are willing to accept you for who you are and what you are, we are just unique.

I have to admit it, truthfully speaking, I wanted to be recognized just like the other children I see. I want people to treat me nice because I am being nice to them too. But as I grow old, no matter how I strived, I acknowledge the fact that we truly can't please everyone around us. We can't force them to do to us what they are doing with somebody else. We can't force them to like us back or embrace our differences with them.

But later on, as life educates me lessons to ponder as I age, I understood that we, people don’t need to be recognized by others just to prove to them that we truly exist. As long as we are being truthful with ourselves and will learn to accept and love ourselves, we'll be good to live a better life.

We don't need to change just for other people's sake and if we truly want change the reason should be for ourselves, for our improvements, advantages, and personal developments. We don't need to fit ourselves in the society just be called “a part” of it.

That's what I learned and I am very happy I had recognized it for the past years. Everyone has their “own” standards in happiness and life, but we shouldn't let other's standards define or mold us as an individual.

When you feel you are too different, it is because you are the one who thinks about it. You are not different, maybe you are just unique in your own way. So I will leave you this message, that you don't have to please other people, you exist.

You don't need to prove yourself to anyone just to be accepted, genuine people will see the gem in you but for them to see it, see it for yourself first.

Embrace your differences, love yourself because no one should appreciate yourself further more than you.

Written by: @eommaZel✍🏻🥀


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2 years ago

Comments

Ehhh, bat ganon bat big deal sa kanila kung payat ka or what. I mean, halos lahat naman ng bata pinag daanan yang pagiging payat. Pero, bat parang ang laking kasalanan na payat ka. Anong problema nila 😵. Wala ba silang magawa sa buhay kaya sa buhay ng wala pang kamuwang muwang na bata nila ibinabaling ang atensyon nila. Ang aano naman nila, parang babaw naman nila. Kaurat ang ganyan. Naiinis lang ako madams gomen ahahaha.

Pero tama naman, di mo sila kailangang eplease. If you want change, then do it for yourself. And not for them na parang may malaki silang contribution sa buhay mo, tsk. Ambot nalang sa mga ganyang tao.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Ay truth, kaya nga. Di naman inaano ng buto2 ko. 😅 Pero grabe impact sakin ng panunukso nila dati. Ewan ko ba bat ko nman pinapatulan. Kaya self confidence ko tlga nung bata pa ko napakababa. Buti nlng nrealize ko sa huli na kahit payat o mataba, wag akong mgpaapekto sa kanila .

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Di nila kasi naiisip na ung salita nila. Maaaring maka sugat sa musmos mong kaisipan. Kung sino oa nga minsan ung mas matanda diba sila pa ung nag iinitiate ng ganyan, pulaan to the max ampt. Buti ako noon kahit payatot wala namang nanggaganyan sakin. Tsk

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2 years ago

Ay ako halos lahat tlga, ang worst pa kapamilya ko pa madalas hayss. Kaya lumaki akong laging nakayuko dati. Pag naiisip ko nga parang sinayang ko lng tlga ang oras ko sa gnun. Hays Pero buti nlng natauhan din ako

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2 years ago

Ako din ,i always ask my self bat kakaiba ako ,im a girl bat parang lalaki ang katawan ,i experienced bullying pero ngayon tanggap ko na ,kahit ganito katawan ko atleast kompleto hehe ,yung iba nga na di kompleto tanggap nila sarili ,so ako din tinatanggap ko na din 😊

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Ayy, ako din sis tanggap na tanggap ko na Pero now di nko payat heheh may konting bilbil na. 😅

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2 years ago

We should love ourselves all the time that criticisms cannot overpower us.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yes indeed! I'm glad I realized about it, though it's a bit late. ☺

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2 years ago

It's fine what's important is the realization after what happened 😊

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2 years ago

tama. yung title pa lang sis eh. Kasexy mo siguro nung bata pero ang akla ng lahat malnorish ne. haha. buti na lang di ka nagpatalo sa mga bully nung panahong bata ka pa . Hayaan mo lang mga tsismosa mapapagod din sila tho minsan talaga nag sakit ng mga sinasabi nila

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Naku sexy an puro buto sissy. Hehehe pero nasaktan tlga ako lalo na kapag kapamilya ko ngsasabi ng ganun sakin. Iniisip ko nga wala naman akong ksalanan sa kanila para gnunin nila ako. Nakow buti nlng natauhan ako nung ngdalaga na. ☺

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2 years ago

haha. buti at natauhan ka sis :) now okay na katawan mo :)

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2 years ago

Correct! What matters is that we love ourselves and not letting anyone disturb our peace.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly sis. ☺

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2 years ago

Yes, I am a gem. I am Saphire haha. I never ever think of changing myself just to be liked by everyone, because I like me and that's all that matters as long as I am not offending and stepping anyone.

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2 years ago

Ay nsabi ko nga sa sarili ko sis, sana dati plng narealize ko na yan hehehe edi sana mas memorable at happy ang childhood memories na naiwan. Pero okay nadin, natuto naman ako kung panu pahalagahan ang sarili. ☺️

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2 years ago

We are all beautiful,no matter what color or size we are. Other's opinion won't matter as long as we believe and love ourselves. It's a good thing that you were able to find the confidence in yourself sis through your friends. Continue being beautiful sis!😘😘😘

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2 years ago

Aw, thanks sis. Let's just be beautiful even in our eyes sis.☺️ Have a nice day. 💚

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2 years ago

Yeah! You are be-YOU-tiful! No matter how we try, there would always be people who'll try to bring us down. They don't matter. What matters is that you accept yourself for who you are, and appreciate the people that appreciate you as well.

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2 years ago

True. Sayang nga huli ko na nang marealize ang mga gnito, sguro kung dati pa, sgurado akong mas memorable pa yung childhood memories ko. ☺️

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2 years ago

Been there too.. until now but my heart is already immune by it. For me, it's not ok to be different or unique. It's great... Ayoko ng may kapareha eh 😂

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2 years ago

Hahaha sana gnyan din ako dati. Masyado tlga akong mahina nung bata pko. bilis ko din maapektuhan, kulang kasi ako sa mpagsasabihan dati. Pero now, atleast natuto naman na ko 😁

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2 years ago

You went through a lot and I could feel your pain from just reading this article. People are fond of saying negative things about people just because of the differences they have. It hasn't been easy but I am glad you came out strong out of the situation. Anyone trying to impress other people will end up regretting it.

We are all unique the way we are and we must work on our uniqueness rather than trying to become someone else.

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2 years ago

It was never easy, I swear. And now I'm doing my best to protect my little ones from such experiences and feelings. I don't want them to go through what I had been to before. Now that I learned my differences from others, I'll teach them to love themselves first and accept their individuality. ☺

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2 years ago

I can relate to that situation where I was compared to someone they think is better than me and the painful part is - it's coming from my parents.

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2 years ago

That indeed hurts me a lot. To hear the words from my bloodline, I felt I was cursed. But now I'm fine despite them saying negatively about me. That's how I learned from the past, ignore their negativity and mind my own growth. ☺

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2 years ago

What I did too was, I take it as a motivation to strive harder to show them what I've got.

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2 years ago