“When being Strong becomes an Obligation to us, Mothers”

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Avatar for eommaZel
3 years ago

September 11, 2021

Saturday

Mothers are usually called supermoms, the name itself is greatly extraordinary in the ears especially to moms like me. Being considered as a strong woman somehow making mothers special as an individual. But behind the strength, most people believed in, the struggle is there, the battle of being a mom against society is always present, clinging to their shadows.

Mostly, when a woman broadcasted a post online that she gave birth to a healthy bouncing baby, everyone is there, extending their greetings and congratulations. It's a day or a week of being famous in the online universe!

Who doesn't love or wish to have a baby? Seeing those tiny fingers, eyes full of innocence, for sure your heart will melt. So when a woman gave birth, she is now considered blessed, however, after the congratulatory messages, sweet greetings, and instant fame, most mothers, especially first-time moms lives will be most likely to be judged.

There's always an eye everywhere, they are attentive and waiting for your downfall. This is how cruel humanity is, some are kind, understanding, while some are just terrible at judging other people's lives and choices.

And one common victim of that kind of person is the mother.

You won't know how exhausting a day could be unless you're a mother. Perhaps you've heard these lines before,

“Taking care of the family and the household has never been easy.”

Sounds familiar right? Probably you've heard those lines from your mum even just for once.

Weakling is not in our vocabulary, there's no room to be a coward especially when you have children who's depending on you. But being strong as a mom is not only for the family, but to fight against the judgemental eyes around.

How could I say these, or what makes me conclude that moms like me are being judged by society?

Simply because I experienced it.

Some mums could probably relate to me or this article.

It sounds foolish but it’s really happening, there is always a weird feeling to know when buying things for ourselves is considered a crime to the eye of other people. Since we are now mothers, other people (not all) put to their perspectives that we must buy now the needs of the children and the family before us.

I am like this before and still like this today but something little has changed. I used to feel guilty whenever I look for nice clothes online or at any physical stores in my hometown. I used to ignore the women's department stores and search for new outfits. Instead, I am always present in the Baby and Kids area, I am not a materialistic person, I am contented with my old clothes which I put on alternately.

But somehow, when a mom buys new clothing, some people tend to raise their eyebrows. Yet they couldn't understand why mothers like me should buy new stuff too for ourselves. Other people manage to judge without even analyzing first.

As we, mothers gave birth, our bodies are now different from our maiden years, hips may grow bigger, belly fats are growing too. While other people assess us in buying new stuff, we mothers just want to get the self-confidence we used to have while we are youthful. It doesn't mean that we can't be presentable at times too. We're just humans, people.

Also when somebody catches the mother sitting on the couch doing nothing, or caught napping in the afternoon, other people might think she's being too lazy. But the truth is, mothers are not robots, just like anybody else, they are just human beings, they also get tired and more exhausted than anyone else.

When the baby is sick, the mother is always taking the blame. But let me remind you, people, no one, a mother or not, wants a family member to get sick especially the children. You don't know how tough it is to receive condemnation for the things you can't control.

They don't know that mothers are only buying new clothes, treating themselves to some special food, pampering themselves with some beauty care products to earn again the self-worth and self-confidence they lose once. They treat themselves and they deserved it, it's not an easy job to be a mother.

I know, we don't need to justify ourselves to everybody to be understood, however, some of the judgments, the criticisms the mother received could trigger depression and may lower faith in themselves, and lack of self-worth.

Mothers, especially first-time moms, if you don't know are prone to depression. There's this called “Postpartum Depression” and I could attest to it that it's not a joke, it's a serious matter that needs to be told and talked to.

As I read some blogs and queries of other mothers on Facebook, I saw that there are still many of them suffering daily from the harsh society and unappreciative partner or husband they have.

I still remember way back when I was in grade one, I used to hate my mom for always nagging. I hate hearing her complaints, I hate her noisy and loud voice, it's irritating me. But now, I somehow understand and recognized where she is coming from.

Fresh generations are in our hands, depending on our caress and teaching. So mothers need ounces of compassion and gratitude too, not only on mother's day.

They say the most understanding individual you could meet is a mother, but frequently mother is one of the most misunderstood persons in society.

That's why being strong is not only our option, it's way more an obligation. We, mothers, are obliged to be tough due to the circumstances life and the world throws at us, we are required to be strong to survive this crazy civilization we have, for the family, for the kids, and ourselves.

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀


This article was checked in a plagiarism checker (Grammarly) Here's the result link


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3 years ago

Comments

Reading this made me appreciate my mothers more. It is like a big, unreversible, and lifetime burden was suddenly put on on a woman's shoulder when she becomes a mother. She was expected to do many difficult things, endure heartbreaks, and even put up with others' judgment. Parenthood is indeed the hardest, no-pay profession there is.

Salute to you for writing this. You are a supermom. You know what? I am sharing this article to my mom. She deserves to read this one. Thank you so much. ♥️

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3 years ago

I can relate to this as a whole, me too have been into a hot spot when my kids got sick and they blame me but your right, as a mom we don't want our kids to be sick,it's just that it happens and unavoidable.We are not known people to be criticized.Be strong mom's, let them speak but don't live with their words.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Thanks, moms, this has happened to me lately, someone blamed me for my son's fever, not knowing I've been too sick too before him. Thanks, sis, I will always remember that. ☺💚

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3 years ago

"It sounds foolish but it’s really happening, there is always a weird feeling to know when buying things for ourselves is considered a crime to the eye of other people. Since we are now mothers, other people (not all) put to their perspectives that we must buy now the needs of the children and the family before us"

This is so true. How could people think that? Does being a mother means abondoning yourself? I really don't understand this mindset.

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3 years ago

I don't know but it's the very common toxic viewpoint set I heard of as a mom. And worst, some of these people are also mothers. 😅 But then, let's just don't let their judgments rule us.

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3 years ago

Relate sis.. When I go to dept store, my priority list are my kids' stuff and toys.. To be honest, the last time I bought myself clothes is like 2 yrs ago already..

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Naku, ako recently lng nakabili ng gamit ko, dalawa na anak ko pero puro asawa ko lng bumibili kasi ayoko tlga. Pero sabi nya, need ko din daw ng bagong gamit lalo't ang luma na ng mga gamit ko paulit ulit nalng yung mga sinusuot ko twing may lakad ako. Pero okay lng yan mommy, ang mahalaga healthy ang kids ntin at sila tlga ang priority, kaya saludo ako sayo. ☺️

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3 years ago

truth!...ganun talaga ang mga nanay. palaging inuuna ang mga anak

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3 years ago

Dijud mawala ang mga himantayon mamsh no?Present jud sila always para mandaot ug mang chismis. Be strong eomma, I know that you're doing your best as a mom to your child. 💗

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3 years ago

Aw, thanks bhe . Madali lng kasi sabhin wag pansinin pero araw araw mo ba naman sla makita. 😅 Ewan ko ba kung anong tumatakbo sa isip ng mga tao ngayon, hehe thanks sis 😚

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3 years ago

Definitely, sis. We will only understand mothers if we were in their shoe. If not, then better shut our mouth because we don't know what are the sacrifices of a mother.

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3 years ago

True sis. Meron kasing ibang tao andaling manghusga. Pero dedma nlng tlga kung gnun ,di lhat kasi open minded. ☺️

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3 years ago

Nagiging considerate and responsible na kc kpg maging mom.. .may iba nga lng na walang paki 😅

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3 years ago

Ay oo, may ibang mapagpatol meron din dedma to the max. Ako dati naalala ko, losyang tlga sa panganay ko. Lahat ng mata kasi ng Aling Marites nkatingin sakin, pero ngayon naku, natuto na ang lola, dedma ko na sila. 😅

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3 years ago

I find it annoying when someone who doesn't understand the life of a mother find the right to judge another mother. It's more shocking when a mother judges another mother for getting new stuffs when she clearly understands how stressful being a mother can get. Mother's deserve to be happy and whatever it is that can give them that excitement even for a tiny bit should never be criticized.

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3 years ago

That happens all of the time. Mothers judging other moms’ misery are the worst. They should be the ones to understand their fellow mommas' circumstances but others just love to judge. That's why I feel sorry for the other moms out there who are misunderstood. Thanks, Olasquare for your considerate mentality, you're such a good person. 💚

$ 0.02
3 years ago

It's painful really because they should understand better and more and as humans too, we need to do better because just like you said, some take delight in just judging others to make themselves feel 'good'.

Thanks a lot my friend. You are an amazing person. 🤗

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3 years ago

I can relate to everything you have said especially about post partum depression as experienced that when I gave birth to my 2nd born. It's never been easy. I didn't even know why I cry when I hear my baby crying, lots of questions in my mind and what makes it harder for me is my husband didn't know what I've been through. If I was not back at work after 2 months of giving birth maybe I'm crazy now LOL. Glad I had to go back to work after the lock down. Being at home, no work, no income makes me insane

$ 0.05
3 years ago

I also experienced postpartum depression but it happened on my firstborn. I'm just glad I fought it, it's hard battling it alone I'm glad you're fine now. I also thought of that, probably I'm crazy now when I haven't won against PPD before. 😅

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3 years ago

Yes I am fine now. Thank you. Not everyone knows about PPD

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3 years ago