“The Nice Man I Met Six Years Ago”

November is here again, and every time this month is coming, I can't help but remember certain persons that once existed in my life.

Some of them left wonderful memories of love and morality with me, just like this man I met six years ago.

Living life in an unfamiliar place was never been easy, I shared here many times before that I used to live in the city when my work was based there.

Despite the bad rememberings I had there, there were still memories that are worth reminiscing especially with the special people that made me feel I am exceptional to them.

When we say, November, the first thing that comes up to our minds is Halloween, and of course, it's also the time where we prayed for the souls of our beloved departed family members, friends, or someone who was once important to us.

And for me, November was memorable yet cruel in some ways because something happened this month, a few years ago.

While I was residing in the city, I met the man whom I will live my whole life with, my husband. But six years ago we were still fresh and a young couple.

We were deeply in love, and the bond we have was inseparable. When he decided to introduce me to his family, I was first worried they might not like me. Since I am so skinny and just a simple province girl.

But all were just my assumptions, his family was nice to me and accepted me as their own especially his father.

His father was a pedicab driver and was a nice man his hair couldn't hide the fact that he was old, at that time I met him he was already 69 years old. Yet, regardless of his age, he was still strong to carry on with paddling his pedicab.

But when my husband's sister and I applied for a job and both of us were hired, she decided to leave her daughter to their father.

To make the story short, their father stopped to ride his pedicab and started to take care of his 3-year-old grandchild.

After that, a lot of things happened in a snap. In the year 2016, I got pregnant and we didn't tell his family about it yet. We're still waiting for “perfect timing”, but an unexpected incident happened to me.

We were buying goods in a supermarket when I fainted while I'm waiting for my turn at the cashier. It was so sudden that I even couldn't remember how it happened. I was assisted by the cashier and was about to be brought to their clinic when I gained my senses back.

I decided to just go home and rest, my husband who's my boyfriend at that time, brought me to their father's flat. He told his father about what happened to me and he told his son to bring me to the clinic so I will have a proper check-up.

At that moment we were clueless but his father already knew that I am carrying his grandson.

After the incident, we visited his father’s flat more often. Living with him was their younger sibling who's the same age as me, and their sister's daughter, their niece.

And every time we went there, their father always cooks food especially for me.

I am so sensitive when it comes to my food cravings before, I only craved certain kinds of fish and chicken the rest I would throw up. But their father cooked for me just to satisfy my tummy.

I was lucky, that's all I could say.

But we didn't experience continuous sunshine, by the way, we’re living separately from them, we were renting so we could live independently.

Because their father was not getting younger anymore, he often complained about his health. He always feel dizzy, uneasy and could tell he got high blood pressure frequently.

My partner and I were always bringing him to the clinic for his check-ups and the findings were always the same, High blood pressure.

Until it just worsens and worsens as time passes by. We were so worried, it could be because he was too old to take care of a toddler, or it could be because of his sudden stop driving his pedicab. A lot of things they considered and brought chaos to their family.

Because their father was ill, their sister convinced us to just live together with them so we could attend to her child and their father as well.

Months and months passed, their father was not getting better, instead, the situation gets worse.

I could still remember while I was in the kitchen preparing to lit a fire to cook when I heard a loud bang. It was their father, he fell off his chair while he was trying to change the channel of his radio but his granddaughter pulled him down.

I could say it injures him based on the loud volume of smacked I heard.

My partner panicked and checked his dad immediately. It was an accident but blaming couldn't be avoided.

But I was just there, listening to their noises, I was out of their conversation as siblings.

Then, days and weeks passed I noticed a huge change in their dad's gestures, he often forgets, and sometimes forgets what he was saying or what he's about to say. I know something's not right.

I told my husband about it and he also noticed it. He told his sister about what we noticed about their father and she said it's just a normal response of getting older.

But I could see, it was not normal, it wasn't just a typical sign of aging.

Until we told her sister to have their father checked in the hospital, so we did send him to have him tested by the professionals.

At first, they do lab tests on him, and while waiting for the results I was with him while his daughter and son were busy processing his bills and papers.

I couldn't count if how many times he asked me if I was hungry or I was sleepy. Despite his situation, he would still care for me.

Then we stayed there for a night because some of the lab results were not yet finalized.

When the morning comes, his children were still busy processing the hospital bills so we could go home. The lab results came and they said they were all normal. And it left me a huge question mark.

While their father and I were waiting for them to finish, he suddenly handed me his soup.

“Take it, eat up so you could have enough energy. We had a very tiring night. I know you didn't sleep well.”

I refused and told him it was him who needs to be energized and I am fine.

He was really a nice man and a nice father.

Weeks after, we noticed nothing changes except his forgetfulness getting severe.

While we were having lunch, their sister prepared a juice for refreshment, then their father asked for a glass. Jokingly, their sister handed him an empty glass and told him to try to pour for himself.

What happened next surprised us.

He grabbed the glass and lift it, but he don't know what to do next. No matter how hard he tried he just forgot how to pour the pitcher on his glass.

We were all worried, it's not right.

Then they decided to bring him to the other hospital for a second opinion. Together with my partner, we brought him to another hospital and the results alarmed us.

He was having a stroke, and his body, especially his brain was slowly failing to function properly. Then he got tumors on his brain and needs neurosurgery.

But it was so costly, I even gave some of my savings for my upcoming giving birth due on November 21 that time.

To make the long story short, he stayed up for the hospital for a couple of weeks and tried to dissolve his tumors with medications but it wasn't enough. Then his children and other children from his first wife discussed carefully and decided to refuse the neurosurgery.

For them, their father was too old to handle such discomfort and suffering, so they decided to just have him home-cared.

Then weeks after, I gave birth (November 17, 2016), we stayed in the hospital for days and went home with our baby on November 21.

We happily introduced to their father his grandson, but he couldn't speak, and couldn't give his reaction. He was like that starting when he was hospitalized.

Then, it was November 25, just 8 days after I gave birth, he struggled to breathe. While was in the room, I was shaking, crying while feeding my little one. It was so painful, to hear their agony.

Then I went out, even it hurts me to see him that way, my partner grabbed our son and placed him on his chest, then we cried harder when we saw he was able to lift his hand and put his palm on our son's tiny head and a teardrop fell from his eyes.

It was so painful, to see a loved one dying in front of you and you can't do anything but just cry.

That day, he stopped breathing and chose to rest. It was six years ago but I could still remember the sorrow. It's still here, and despite we only shared a few memories while he was still alive, I am very grateful to meet a man like him.

He was a nice man and also became a good father to me.

‘Till we meet again, Tang! We missed you.

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀