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It's August 2 and I still can't get over with the past month of July. The first two weeks were smooth and fine everything seems normal for me but as the last week of the month came drastic change greeted me.
Well, we can't really tell what the future beholds so we just need to live and face the present.
I welcomed the first day of August with a little sickness. I am stress, that's one of the reasons why I felt unwell these days. Aside from that, I am sleepless, lacking plenty of hours of sleep because of my own choice.
I've been like this for a week, and I don't know what's happening inside of me, feels like I'm insufficient with motivations again. Here we are again and again and I hate this feeling, to be honest. These days, I am quite overwhelmed by sudden changes in the household. I am pressured since I'm now the one who's obliged to provide for the family while my husband got no work due to ECQ again.
This was the first time anxiety hit me ever since the pandemic came. And as I saw my notepad with untouched drafts, I honestly feel bad about myself. I'm not blaming anyone and I couldn't help it but blame myself about it.
These days, just like today, I am very lazy, I am so lazy to get up, lazy to do the stuff I used to prioritize. Maybe because I am getting tired of it? Could it be the reason?
Yesterday, I felt dizzy suddenly but I have no choice but to do the laundry. I am a mother after all, and I am born to be tough and I must be tough in any situations I could face.
This month I won't set new goals just like the others are doing, it's also unworthy to share my July earnings since I didn't make enough progress. But then, just like the old days, there's always a new hope for every new month!
Why would I stress myself about the things I can't foresee yet. Instead, I am here writing again giving myself another chance to get back on track to the virtual world!
I just can't take it, I just can't ignore read.cash, and noise.cash that easily. So even I am out of topic today, I am here still writing this to show you guys that I am still alive. 😅 My dreams are still waiting for me to ignite.
Again, I have no goals for this month but I want this month to be different than the others had passed.
In a week of being on a vacation, what I mean is the vacation I had off from the virtual world, I realized that I am a failure when it comes to time management. And until now I am still carrying that attitude.
Though I always want for a change, I am here doing nothing to help myself which is supposed to be done in the first place. Instead, I am here hugging the laziness and the stress life's giving me.
I pity myself and at the same time scratching my head. What am I doing these days, seriously?
My heart was heavy this morning, knowing that I've been slacking off for almost a week again. But as I stroll in the garden, I recognized that there's a need for me to be mad with myself. Looking at my children happily playing beside me made me realized that I chose more to become a hands-on mother to them.
Looking at my gallery full of our selfies made me understand that I never wasted time on what I thought I did.
Regardless of my inactivity, I always, later on, noted that family time is always a precious time spent. It always has been like that, but then, just like what I've aforementioned above, I just can't ignore these two BCH-powered platforms that gave me hope and a new chance to better.
So, I decided to manage my time very well starting this month.
I'll be honest with you guys, I am a person who always flunks in managing my time, and I often forgot things, things that I used to prioritize. As you can see, my articles here were 4 days or almost a week again before I publish a new one.
Not because I am out of topic, but because I am just a lazy brat at times and forget about important stuff and started to do insignificant matters.
Well, I am just human, you know and I believe I could still have another chance. And this time, I'll make my schedule so I have something to guide me.
Since my mind is more active at night, I am planning to write every other night. I know I can't do it daily so I'll just have an interval of 1-3 days to publish another one. Seriously, if I won't do this, probably I'll be looking for another K-drama to watch for since I am lacking reminders about my priorities.
Then, after I'm done publishing, I'll just spend one or two hours reading articles here and the rest I'll intend it to noise.cash.
I don't know if this plan will work since it's not that precise yet, but I'll do my best to stick to it.
Also, I can do noise.cash in the morning whenever I have free time to spend. Unlike these past few days, I seldom hold my phone because I am too busy with the household, so I'll just ask my partner to spare me even a few minutes every day whenever he's not busy so I could make noise again.
I honestly feel bad, whenever I saw notifications in my accounts and I can't do anything even can't reply because my time is eaten by my personal obligations at home.
But as much as I want to be a good mom with my kids, I want also to be a good user of this platform too. And to keep my path, I need to amount extra time to the virtual universe so I'll have no regrets later on.
The month just started two days ago and I can't help but self-motivate again. I badly need this, so this article is jotted down so it could be read by my lazy side again to recollect to keep myself on track.
This time, words aren't enough to do it, it needs action so it'll be a success in the end. There's a long way to go before another month to come, I have enough days to make it up here.
I'll now set a reminder on my phone and my laptop so whenever idleness strikes me, there's something there to remind me,
Stress had eaten my days extremely, but I just can't stand here and hug it tight. I need to snap it once again, I know I just heightening my enthusiasm but I don't expect too much however, I'll do my very best to keep my words this time.
I just want to say hello to August, I am here and I am back!