“Gossip: An Influential Relation Wrecker”

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Avatar for eommaZel
3 years ago

June 27, 2021

Sunday

In a community full of gossips and rumors, can you tell which and who are valid?

It's a gloomy day and the neighborhood was calm. Everyone was busy with their chores and day-to-day obligations. It's just another day to be spent just like any other days we had here in the community that I am presently living in.

Yet, behind this peaceful look and smiley faces, there's a hidden character of each inhabitant.

Each has its own stories, secrets and, tales; but you will never know who and which one is accurate.

Today, an incident happened between my neighbors, I'm not trying to become a gossiper here but I'm trying to emphasize what to do and how to avoid certain situations about gossip.

Honestly, I'm a person who does not like to talk about others without their presence. I truly hate to be a part of spreading the gossips. Simply because I just want to mind my own life instead of the others'. As I don't want others to look out for mine.

Yet, gossip is inevitable, especially I'm living in a community with a lot of “Human CCTV” or gossipers.

These people are fond of talking about and listening to rumors about their neighbors and other people. And for me, these people are full of enviousness, jealousy, and not satisfied with their lives. Probably they're bored and sad with the things and the life they're having.


It was almost 4 pm when I heard different voices shouting. At first, I thought some children were playing on the basketball court, but I was wrong. I just heard more yells and screams. There's a commotion in the neighborhood.

I went outside to see what's happening because I'm curious and still concern about the happenings in the neighborhood. I saw two of the residents were yelling at each other pointing their fingers at one another and both of their children were beside them, watching.

And the reason for their fight was gossip.

What shocked everyone was when the other party brought a knife. Glad, some people put them to calm.

Someone called the police to report the incident since there's a deadly weapon being used.

After that, I don't know what happened next, but I just scratched my head and went back inside to continue my chores.


Gossip would never offer you peace of mind, nor a quiet life. This instead will give you a life full of suspicions, uncertainties, and will trigger misunderstandings that may lead to broken harmonies with somebody you know. Just like in the neighborhood, a used-to-be peaceful place becomes miserable when gossips and rumors started to circulate like a virus.

When I was young our neighborhood was serene, full of children's laughter. As we, the children were too innocent we never realized what made our community full of outrage and envy. Yes, since then we have heard screams, yelling, and inappropriate words from the neighboring homes. And the main reason for misunderstanding?

It's the gossip, and I realized a lot of people and their relationship with somebody was ruined because of it.

Because the words that had been uttered out of heavy emotions can't be altered anymore. Those words could leave an enormous impact or a crack between both parties, leading to a damaged connection in between.

Rumors and gossips for me are never valid.

I won't believe in gossip easily unless I heard it personally between the individuals involved. And since I was a kid until I turned at this age, I never partake in any gossips here in the community, and it's the reason why I have good relationships across the neighborhood.

Yet, I can't give my trust handily to anyone I meet unless I know them personally that they're completely trustworthy.

I am being polite much as I could, as long as no one will disturb my peaceful life, I'm good.

What to do with the rumors you've heard?

The best thing to do is “Ignore it”.

For me, that's the decent thing you can do to avoid taking part in rumors in the community. I know there are times you can't escape from listening to gossips, but whatever you heard and whoever it is, just ignore it. As long as it's not yet valid, don't believe in gossips easily.

Some gossips could be true yet most of them are false accusations with extra bits of additional stories. Yes, because some gossipers are good story makers.

But what if you're the center of the rumors?

Before taking any actions, make sure that you'll never forget to be civil as much as you can. No matter how hurtful and worse the rumor they're spreading about you, always stay calm and be civil. Through this, your dignity and respect will speak about you as a person.

Just like what happened in the neighborhood as of today, avoid shouting and yelling. Because screaming and shouting won't help, instead, it will add more fuel to the fire and might cause a lot of misunderstanding.

If the gossiper won't like to settle with you and do inappropriate things, such as holding deadly weapons, the pinpointing and shouting is getting worst, it's time to call for authority. It's also best to talk in coordination with the officers in your neighborhood for settlements.

Listen to the side of the other party until they're done, and start to explain your side.

No matter how bad the gossip is if you know in yourself that you're with the truth never allow the gossip and your negative feelings to chew you alive. It's not about the gossip anymore, it's about how you react and respond. Your actions will justify you.

Also, avoid people who are fond of talking about gossips as long as you can. Your circle will take a huge part in your perspectives. So if you're in a circle of gossipers, you'll probably be closer to gossips too.

That's why mind your own business saying was brought about, simply to indicate that it's better to mind your own life than minding of the others’. Peace and stability are more reachable when you're caring for your own life.

Gossips and rumors, I guess, will always be a part of the community. You will never know who's valid between the people around you. And which of the stories are true, but you can always ignore them, be mature, and wider your perspective.

Not all stories you heard are accurate. Not all people you'll meet are credible. So always bear in mind to be ethical especially in dealing with neighborhood tales.

Always remember, gossip is an effective relationship wrecker. This is not applicable only for lovers but between you and the people around you too.

You can't trust anyone in the town, so choose wisely the people you're getting attached to. Be wise and live a gentle life away from gossip.

Written by: @eommaZel✍🏻🥀


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3 years ago

Comments

Gossips can ruin someones life to the point of that person to be depress .Just like what they did to me .I was the center of the gossip roaming around our barngay..And they did that not knowing the whole story , its just sad that there are people like that.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

dami din dito sa aming human cctv sis. haha. yung iba nga kamag anak din naman. I admit naman na minsan nakikipagchismisan din ako but unlike the others na talagang ikakalat sa buong angkan at brgy. haha. madalas pag relative issues na family ko lang pinag sasabihan ko kasi I believe na yung mga ganung issue dapat sana i keep na lang then wag na ipakalat sa ibang taong di naman involve at walang ginawa kundi mamintas

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3 years ago

Haay dami din nyan dito, nasa culture na ata talaga natin mga Pilipino yan.. pero I don't like it haha

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3 years ago

Naku wapakels talaga ko sa mga chismis dito. Para nga kaming alien dito kasi di kami nalabas. Choice ko naman Yun . Naalala ko nung last week , naliligo kasi kami sa harapan. Edi pumasok kapitbahay namin tapos nakita nya puro bungang araw pamangkin ko , edi sabi ko maselan nga kasi balat. Paglabas nila nakita ko nagbubulungan na sila nung Isa naming kapitbahay tapios narinig ko tinanong nya bakit daw nagpunta samin at nagbulungan na sila haha. Akala siguro diko nakita. Yung mga ganong style , naku. Kahit wala nlng akong kapitbahay 😂

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

One way or another, we all love gossips. :) that's not a good thing but it's really like that.

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3 years ago

My friend said that everytime I heard a gossip about me, just ignored it. Always remember that you are better than them and fighting them back will make you as low as them ✨

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3 years ago

Wala talagang magandang maidudlot yang chismis sis. Bakit kaya yung ibang tao noh, ang hilig nila sa ganyan. Kumakain lng yan ng oras. 🤦‍♀️

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Ay true sis, ewan ko nga bat enjoy na enjoy sla manira ng kapwa. Whole day ata yan routine ng ilang kapitbahay dto, di ata sla ngsasawa. Hanggang sa umabot na sa gnito, may mga kutsilyo pa talaga. Kulang nalang mgpatayan ng dahil lng sa chismis

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3 years ago

It reminds me a quotation "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none" 😊

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3 years ago

So I wandered to your profile on noise.cash somehow like I mentioned there and boom, I saw a link to your post on read. cash that's how I got back here hahaha. It was about "A chapter in your life"" or something lol.

Now back to the subject matter here "GOSSIP" Well most times even if we don't wanna be a part of this, we find ourselves doing it. As you mentioned, this is also a part of gossip you know? I mean you telling us what happened in your neighborhood today. And what if I choose not to believe it and mind my business? Hahaha, just kidding though.

It's just so sad how a little minute or hours of gossips can ruin or destroy a person's life or the entire family. It's inevitable most times but we should really learn to mind our businesses and perhaps the world would be a little convenient for all to coexist.

We should learn to pay deaf ears to what people have to say about others in other to ruin them or paint them black. If there is no evidence then there isn't any point in believing.

$ 0.10
3 years ago

Very well said, zelly. Well, I also thought of that too, that I'm now making a gossip, but I'm not dropping names so, at least their profiles remained private. 😁

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3 years ago

Yes, you are right. No names mean privacy secured. and that's good🙃

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3 years ago

Gossip is inevitable when you reside in a compound with lots of residents, I thought it is just a tradition here in Nigeria but it is happening all over the world.

I ignore it and I have recorded conversations that could involve me just to clarify myself. I haven't fallen victim to gossip though because I mind my business alot

$ 0.10
3 years ago

It's also happening here in the Philippines, and people here are fond of talking about your miseries. I don't know what will they get about talking behind someone's back. It's very toxic. Just like you, I always mind my own business too. I don't want to get involved in any rumors around. And good thing you're clarifying yourself correctly. Some people might end up making the situation worst for being the target of the gossip.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

I count it as joblessness when people decide to talk about others life, it is a complete waste of time

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Probably, the pandemic has brought too much boredom to them making them to keep an eye on everyone's achievements or missteps.

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3 years ago

Very well said, I have experienced personal attacks too from the neighborhood from renting in a small boarding house. I am well aware that that was their routine behind their smile and I have to think before reacting. In my case I was hurt but I was never into violence and just let it slide. My Gods opinion is what matters most to me than their judgeful opinions.

$ 0.11
3 years ago

It is best letting it slide but you will always prevail as long as you don't gossip with them

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3 years ago

I don't and I won't. God sees my sufferings and what they're doing. Maybe they needed more love than I do.

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3 years ago

Indeed. God and yourself are enough to witness your purity. Their opinions won't matter as long as you're doing your thing rightfully. And you just did the right thing, never be beaten by their false accusations, just showing them you're not affected and continuing what you're doing is already a huge thing to win against them.

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3 years ago

Thank you, and that's what I did. Sometimes best way to handle toxicity is to learn to ignore and never let the negativity ruin you.

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3 years ago

Absolutely.

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3 years ago