“A Place where a piece of my Childhood was carved.”

My younger years were like a drama, I guess some of you already read my previous articles about how fun my childhood was, however, that happy tale, has a story from the past where all was black and white.

At an early age, I already recognized that my mother and father were going to something. They were fighting each night or day, they just don't click at everything.

I sometimes wonder, how come they fell in love with each other?

Or were they truly in love before?

Why did bear 3 children and later on they would just break up over things.

Those questions are left unanswered until today and I choose to just let them go.

I was eight years old when my mother and father fought so hard that they seemed to want to kill each other. My brother and I cried the whole night, frightened of what we are witnessing.

It was a nightmare, indeed.

Then, I still clearly remember when my mother woke me up at dawn, at past 3 am, she was already carrying a bag, and of course, the minor me would just follow her.

Slowly, we ran away from our house, we left my father and brother who shared the same room that morning.

Never did I realize, it would be the beginning of another journey in my childhood.

My mother brought me to her district, it was miles and miles away from my hometown. The area was full of trees, and mountains, and we were surrounded by vast rice fields. It was a beautiful place.

All I could hear were chirping birds, cackling chickens, noisy ducks, and the leaves that were dancing and swaying along with the slow gush of the wind.

I thought we were going to stay there just for a night, yet my mom planned everything. She wanted to run away with me from our father and live there permanently.

At night, since the house where we stayed is located in the middle of the rice field, the place wasn't reachable by electricity. Our source of light was a do-it-yourself lamp from a bottle of whiskey, filled with gas and with a do-it-yourself filter made of a rag cloth.

In the silence of the night, all I could hear were the sound of the crickets and other insects too.

Since I am still schooling as a grade 2 student at that time, my mother enrolled me in the school in her hometown. It was against my will, but what could I do? I am now in a far-flung town which my father couldn't easily travel to.

On the first day of school as a transferee, all heads and eyes were looking at me. They recognized me as a stranger, I am nervous and overwhelmed to think I will adjust to another environment in which I am not good into.

As I entered the gate, I felt my feet want to go back out. I was stunned, and with my teary eyes, I managed to fight my worries and made it on the first day.

Every night I was crying alone in my room, I know my grandmother knew it, she always knocks on my door to check on me, but I always didn't leave an answer.

Then one day, I woke up without seeing my mother, she went back to the city and left me there alone with my grandparents. I cried and cried and I lose interest to go to school, but my grandma never failed to give me advice and convinced me to continue.

My grandfather loves me so much too, he always made me comfortable, and he made me smile and laugh too. And I could say, I am his favorite granddaughter because he said it to me.

He was a farmer, he used to own hectares of rice fields and he even gifted me one, but of course, only in verbal promise just to make me happy.

Because of my grandfather, I slowly enjoyed my stay there. I was always following them wherever he goes, I was even watching him in the fields, and whenever I saw him approaching, I will run to him and hugs him tight like we saw each other in decades.

He also gave me a task, and that was to collect the eggs of the ducks every morning, open their cage and let them freely roam around the whole day, and bring them back to their cage at dusk. That simple task made me busy each day, I also roamed around the mini forest at the back of the house.

I saw geckos that were so huge only in that place.

I became a happy kid because of him. He never failed to make me cheerful again.

Almost a month passed, and I made friends at school, I had these two buddies who treated me so nicely and we became good friends. It's just sad, I only remember their faces and their first names which are Rhea and Fatima.

After a month my father along with my brother came to fetch me. And after that day, I went home with my father and brother leaving my mom's hometown and never had a chance to come back.

Because on that same date, my father and mother decided to officially cut their ties and agreed to legally separate in front of the authority.

I was re-enrolled again to the school where I was enrolled first in my hometown, making my teachers call me “balikbayan” or someone who is returning home after living somewhere else.

After how many months, I received news that my grandfather died. I kneeled on my father just to let me go there but he didn't allow me, because he was afraid I might be hidden by my mother again. I was weeping, wailing with extreme sadness, I really love my grandfather, I really do. But I can't do anything, I am still a kid.

Many years passed I never glimpse again to the place where a piece of my childhood was carved. I don't know if people there could still recognize me if ever I come back.

And this upcoming Holy Week, my mom invited me and my family for a 1 week's vacation there. I am excited, to be honest, however, I have many expenses to pay. Now that's my problem as of now.

But I still look on the positive side, I still have more days to grind so I could accumulate about $20 for the fare that's already good back and forth. ☺

I wanted to visit there again even for a quick time, I was eight when I left it was almost 19 years has passed.

I truly yearn to see again the place where I once became brave to face a new environment. If ever not now, I know one day I will but along with my family.

Let me just end it here, thanks for reading this drama of my life. Till next time!

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀