I'm a work in progress!

April 8, 2022

First article for this month. Hopefully, not the last though. 😅

I am definitely a work in progress!!! ☺️☺️🙏🙏

There was a time in my life that I really lose hope of losing even a kilo of weight. I just gained and gained and gained. I thought that these weight will keep on pulling me down to my grave and that I cannot do anything about it. But it all started to change, October 2021. And before I tell you what made me change my mind, let me tell you first how I ended up like this.

I was born really a big girl. Even when I was young, I am really chubby and obviously, my parents find it so cute and adorable. When I was around 7 years old, I was always teased by the kids of the same age as mine and even adults as well. They tease me of my weight because I was the biggest in our playmates.

They call me, "taba, tabachoy, oink oink, babe as in baboy which means pig". At a young age, I was so hurt already by those words. It crushed my confidence that is already as little as a seed. The bigger I get, the smaller my confidence become. 😔😔😔

When I get into highschool, I had boy classmates who loves to tease me as well. I have this classmate who I have a crush on and his name is Donald. Like, he's so cute and intelligent. A friend of him told me and my friend that Donald might have an infatuation or crush for me as well but he doesn't want to pursue it because of my weight. Like, wtf! Hahaha. But that's okay. My friend ArchieMae defended me and talked to them harshly telling them that even if I am chubby, I am pretty. ☺️☺️🙂🙂 Really thankful to her because my heart was not that broken since she saved it from falling.

When I went to college, in Cebu, I gained my confidence back because even if I am still chubby, I have good friends who accepted and supported me. Even if a lot of people call me "TAMSI" which in bisay means, "tambok na sexy" or "fat but sexy", and there are still a**hole guys who loves teasing me, my heart was not easily hurt by it. I gained my confidence back and even if I don't lose weight much, with my physical activity in college, I didn't gain weight much as well. That was when I was in Cebu until 3rd year college.

But everything changes when I came home to Bicol and continue my studies here. I gained too much weight in just 2 months since I just stayed home. No friends to visit. No place to go. No clubs to party. I was having my monthly period on a regular basis until it stopped for a couple of months. Until it became 7 months that I didn't have a monthly period. I went to the OBGyne only to find out that I have a "hormonal imbalance" that eventually led to PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It means that I have multiple small cyst on my ovaries and there is really no cure to it but to have a healthy weight. But as I researched, girls with PCOS had really difficulty in losing weight and thats what happened to me.

As my college days went by, I just gained weight in college until I was working in Manila. Since I am now working, i have money to buy what I want. To buy food that I like. Sadly, the food I am buying are not the healthiest ones.

From, 62kg when I was in 1st year college, I became 80kg when I finished college and the when I was working in Manila, I gained another 10kilos. 😔😔🥺🥺 I went back in bicol hoping my eating habits will change but sadly, it didnt. It even became worst. Because I do not have enough money, I have to budget it and buy cheaper food like, canned food and noodles. My heaviest weight is probably 100kilos and I am not really proud of it.

I became sickly. I had high blood pressure and i can feel something bad already in my heart. That is why, last year around May, I wrote an article about how my heart was feeling. It is titled, Take care of your heart cause you only got one!

So, the picture I am sharing now was my Before and after pictures. Again, I started to weigh really heavy in April last year until September last year, but I changed something in my dailu diet that made me lose 12 kilos in 4 months.

I know it's not that much yet but I am just so proud that I can tell myself that I can do it. That is why I am a work in progress because I am not yet finished and a lot is yet to come. I am still fat, I know, but as time goes by, the hurtful words thrown at me doesn't matter anymore. I even wear it as a shield and bounce back so much better.

Slowly, little by little, I am losing weight and gaining confidence.

I would love to share with you some of my weigh loss journey but that's for another article. Hopefully, I won't get lazy.

For now, hopefully someone will get inspired as well. If you think that you cannot do it, change your mind because you can. Change your thinking because oftentimes, what you think is what you become. So tell yourself you can, focus on your goal and you can move slowly but surely just like me. Don't rush it. It will come. I believe in you. You should believe in yourself too!!! ☺️☺️☺️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘

Godbless you!

❤️❤️Ellimacandrea❤️❤️