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Nine Ways Children Differ from Each Other

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Written by   8
4 months ago

Somewhere along the line, somebody must have changed the parenting rules.

How come some parents hardly survives growing and taking care of their own child? How come other parents takes it easy and seems to have enough time to have fun for themselves even with a child being taken care of?

These questions are not new questions for us. Parents have realized that parenting, even though with the same process, can give a result that are different from each other. What is really surprising is, even in the same family, childrean are different right from the start. What some people do not realize is that the ways in which children differ are somehow similiar.

Photo credit from: Unsplash

In 1956, medical doctors Stella Chess and Alexander Thomas, began conducting a longitudinal study with a sample of more than a hundred (100+) children. They observed these babies, conducted interviews with their mothers and fathers, and sent in researchers to gather data. As time passes by and the babies grew older, Chess and Thomas continued to follow their development. They spoke to their teachers, continued observations in their homes, and talked with their parents. As the children grew into adulthood, the medical doctors persisted their research. What they discovered was simple but profound: Babies are different from the start. In fact, they concluded, babies are different in nine specific ways.

First, Children differ in their activity level.

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Some prefer to curl up on the couch with a book, while others are always in the go. They blow through life like whirling dervishes, expanding a constant flow of energy.

Second, Some children are more regular than others in such things as hunger, sleeping and waking cycles, and elimination.

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Regular children are much easier to potty train than irregular children. They favor routine. Their meal times, bedtimes, and schedules all fall into predictable and comfortable patterns. Not so, for irregular children. Their body clocks so not tivk off the moments of their lives in anything that even resembles a predictable fashion.

Third, Children's initial responeses to new situations vary.

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While some children rush excitedly and confidently into new adventures, other hold back fearfully, needing continued assurance and encouragement to take the first step. In other words, some children tend to approach new situations positively, while others tend to withdraw.

Fourth, Children differ in their long term responses to new situations.

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While some children are highly adaptable and flexible, otehrs find it extremely difficult to adjust to change, taking weeks or even several months to acclimate themselves to new circumstances.

Fifth, Children have different tolerance levels for sensory stimulation.

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Where one child screams over barely stubbed toe, another will fall off a cliff and walk away without skipping a beat. Children with low sensorythreshold often complain about seemingly insignificant things.

Sixth, Children differ in their quality of mood.

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While some children are naturally sunny and pleasant, others face life with more of a grim or sober demeanor.

Seventh, The intensity whith which children respond to situations various.

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Some children reach to life's circumstances with a huge amount of energy. If something is funny then they laugh until their tears begin to stream. If they are angry, they stomp their feet and raise their voices. Other children are more bland. They smile vaguely at humurous situations and let the offenses of others roll their backs with barely a crossword.

Eighth, Some children are more easily distracted than others.

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Such children are more attuned to outside stimuli. they have difficulty concentrating if so much as a fly buzzes by the window. Yet their siblings may be able to do their homework with the television going, the door opening and closing, and people entering and exiting the room.

Ninth, Children differ in their persistance and attention span.

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Some children never give up. They perceive the goal, they concentrate on the objectives, and they go for the prize. Others abandon a project in despair after one short-lived, failed attempt.

Obviously, each child comes with his or her own unique mix of these characteristics. Even children from the same family can be much different from each other. Some parents may find this very frustrating, and even painful, especially when a particular child uniqueness appears to be "bad".

Suggestions that can help Parents deal with troubling differences in their children:

These are three suggestions coming from the medical doctors themselves:

  1. Do not assume that if your child behaves differently from what you expected and hoped, you have been a bad parent.

  2. Do not assume that your child is deliberately behaving in a waythat upsets you and could behave differently if he or she wanted to.

  3. Do not make moralistic judgements about your child because of the behaviour that does not live up to a standard that you have set.

The bottom line is this:

Accept your child for who he or she is.

Don't try to make one child into a copy of another. Work with your child within the framework of what he brings into a situation. Look for unique strengths. Help him recognize and deal with his own liabilities.

References used:

Stella Chess and Alexander Thomas, Know Your Child (New york: Basic Books, 1987)

Images taken from: Unsplash

Hello everyone, good day! This is one of my first official post in this platform! I wish on being consisten on posting and bring you good quality content. May this article be helpful for all the parents out there. Thank you for using some of your time to read this article of mine. If you like the content of this post, why not wait for my other contents? I will do my best to not disappoint you!

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4 months ago
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Comments

That's why it's a challenge for teachers how to deal with lots of kids for each one is built differently. Parents and teachers should be more understanding about the strengths and weaknesses of each child.

Welcome to read!

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4 months ago

ah yes, teachers! Imagine them handling 20-30 different kids. I think teachers must have some training, not just in teaching about academics but also handling them. And yes, you are right! Parents and teachers being understanding and knowing weakness and strengths of each child can help.both the teacher and the child in positive ways.

Thank you! I will enjoy it here in read.

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4 months ago