Good forgivers not only free themselves from the past pains but create healing for the present and open the door to a future of happiness and peace.
When he was two years old Wayne, the youngest of three children, was abandoned by his father. Unable to support her three boys, their mother was forced to turn them over to the state. They spent most of their childhood in various foster homes. The few facts Wayne knew about his father were negative- he was a troubled man who drank excessively, physically abused his wife, was chronically unemployed, and spent time in prison. As Wayne grew up, the anger he felt toward his father developed into hatred. In the 2015s Wayne learned that his father had died and was buried somewhere. On a business trip to the area, he decided to visit his father's gravesite. Wayne's mission was to forgive his father.
In a one-way conversation he said to his father: "I am certain that the time has come to abandon his anger and hatred that I have carried around so painfully for so long. I want you to know that as of this moment, right now, all of that is gone. I forgive you"
The man who describes that event is best-selling author Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. In his book You'll See It When You Believe It, Dr Dyer says that one act of forgiveness produce immediate posiyive personal and professional benefit in his life. He experienced emotional tranquility, his family life improved considerability, and he wrote his first bestselling book, Your Erroneous Zones, with relative ease.
The ability to forgive is the ultimate sign of personal maturity and social responsibility. Forgiveness is the way to make peave with the past, create joy in the present, and build hope for the future. Although forgiveness is easier said than done, forgiving wrongs, both large and small, is indispensable for emotional health and vitality in life. Here are eight tips for becoming a better forgiver.
1. Make the commitment be a forgiver.
The first step in moving beyond anger and bitterness toward a person who has caused injury is making commitment to forgive. A deliberate and conscious act of the will must be made in order to end any lingering pain and hostility.
2. Work daily at the task of forgiveness.
The best forgivers become the way through dailt practice. Martin Luther King, Jr., taught: "Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a permanent attitude". Rather than view people who wrong you with hostility and anger, take a few moments to forgive and excuse individual. Soften any feelings of bitterness or animosity by thinking kind and loving thoughts about the person who caused the offense.
Begin each day by recalling these biblical commands:
"Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another,as God has forgiven you through Christ" (Ephesians 4:32)
"You are the people of God... Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another. (Colossians 3:12, 13)
3. View others as tools for growth.
An important process of forgiving is to stop blaming others, and see them as tools for growth. The biblical character Joseph understood this principle. In spite of the fact his brothers had beaten him and sold him off as a slave, he was able to forgive them because he saw them as instruments of his own growth and development. When he and his brothers were reunited after many years, the brothers were terrified that Joseph, now powerful man, would use his authority for revenge. Instead, he said, "Don't be afraid; I can't put myself in the place of God. You plotted evil against me, but God turned it into good" (Genesis 50:19, 20)
4. Understand the personal benefits of forgiveness.
At one time or another, every person experiences the sting of rejection, humiliation, deception, betrayal, disappointment, or abuse. The way to get healing for those wounds is to forgive.
5. Be inspired by great forgivers.
Learning about other people who forgive great wrongd provides powerful motivation and inspiration.
6. GIve anger more time to subside.photo edited by drickxandrea in CANVA
Anger emerges whenever one person is hurt by the actions of another. Although forgiveness can be given quite rapidly, it often takes much longer for the anger to ease. Be patient with angry feelings and give them time to subside.
7. Apply forgiveness to all situations.
Every hurt, large and small, can be forgiven. It is possible to pardon even those whose actions make it appear difficult to forgive.
8. Be gentle with yourself and don't give up.
The art of forgiveness is a lifelong endeavor. There will be many occasions when attempts to forgive result in failure. Yet it is important not to become discouraged and quit trying.
Finally, keep in mind that people who are good forgivers not only free themselves from the past but create healing for the present and open widely the door to a future of happinness and peace. Forgiveness is always a healing process that leads to wholeness.
Thank you for taking up your time to read this article of mine. May your hearts be able to give forgiveness and let your past be not hurtful anymore, your present be as awesome as possible, and your future be as happier than ever before.
Indeed it is not easy to forgive. It takes time and practice to do so. Those things you mentioned above will surely help in paving the way in our hearts and minds to forgive.