It's Okay if You're Not Okay

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Avatar for demeterdelune
2 years ago

2021 has been a rough year. I could leave it at that and be on my way and anyone who knows me personally would not argue the point.

I suffer from depression and severe anxiety, but I’m not typically Debbie Downer. It’s just not in my nature to allow things to sit under my skin and make me jaded. I’ve been there in the past and it’s a hole I would rather not climb out of again.

Some days are harder than others.

I’ve seen it written many places this year and am sure I’ve espoused it myself. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to fake it til you make it. Inevitably, there will come a time when you have to do more.

Even though I try not to take up residence in the dumps, the statement, “Look on the bright side,” irritates me almost irrationally. Sometimes, there is no bright side to the situation you’re dealing with, and being told to do so, just forces you to feel things are darker than they might be.

The same goes for, “someone has it worse.”

Yes, Karen, I’m sure someone else somewhere on this planet is dealing with a metric crap ton more than I am right this second. But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to feel what I’m feeling. No one may tell you how to feel, period.

The key is not taking the doom and gloom as a permanent standpoint.

I could express with gusto how much this year has sucked for me and my family. There are times I rant about how fucked up things are, but that’s not my default setting. We can’t allow the negative and just downright shitty things that occur in our lives to shape our every day.

Instead, I’ve been thinking of the positive happenings in my life this year. I began writing full time again after a break I didn’t mean to take. It’s been a struggle, I’ll admit. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything and I can only go up from here.

Writing consistently has helped in many areas of my life. It allows me to work from home and to moderately contribute to my family’s finances. Each of us has to find something in our lives that brings us feelings of accomplishment. I can't work outside the home, I have an autoimmune disease that makes me un-reliable at best.

Feeling accomplished and even proud of something we’ve done goes a long way to pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps.

We don’t need an entire month devoted to reminding ourselves what we’re thankful or grateful for, though it is nice to stop and take a moment. When depression and anxiety seep into your day-to-day life, it’s important to conjure those good things regularly.

When we know and accept our limits, we take the first step in managing our depression and anxiety. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to take a moment and breathe.

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2 years ago

Comments

There's nothing wrong to be not okay. We must understand that we are humans. We have our heart, our emotions to let us feel appropriately on things thats we are experiencing. We are not robots who can be directed what to do and they do not have feelings. 🥰

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2 years ago

I agree, It's okay not to be okay. I, sometimes had the same thought as tou friend. But in order to survive, we should think positive things, it helps us to easily recover from anxiety or depression

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2 years ago

This is true. There's nothing wrong with accepting you're not okay and even having some pity for yourself, as long as you don't set up camp there forever. Thanks so much for reading.

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2 years ago