Am I a fool?

Let's take a break from all the seriousness that I've been writing lately, let's try and look back. 😂

I was talking to my high school friends the other day when suddenly, we started grabbing our yearbooks and starting reminiscing about our high school life. We talked about how everything is going for everybody, how's everyone's life had been. Then, slowly we were looking back on where we usually eat whenever class was over, our crazy adventures ang school projects. Going deeper and deeper, then suddenly we were talking about our high school crushes.

Back then, I had some self-esteem issues, not much to the point that it's damaging but I know I had some of it because I had a crush on the school's heartthrob and we all know what happened, he had a crush on the school's heartthrob too.

He was my classmate so I really get to talk to him and it pains me that he doesn't like me back so I wrote a series of poem about him and when we were talking about him, I remembered all of my poems and thought of sharing it to all of you.

So this poem is basically something that I have written for my unrequited high school crush. When I was reading it, I can feel the pain that I've gone through. To be honest, I was having goosebumps for how cringey it is. But it made me realize that when we're young, everything feels like the end of the world, if your crush doesn't like you back. I'm also quite amazed at how the burning desire for love is so strong, so young and so naive.

The poem is titled "Am I fool?" and here it goes:

Am I a fool?

To have loved you ever since I saw you.

Am I a fool?

To still love you even though you didn't know I exist.

Am I fool?

To continue loving you without the assurance of you loving me back.

Am I a fool?

To still smile in front of you while what you ever did was leave me in pain.

Am I fool?

To think of you all day while you're thinking of another.

Yes, maybe I'm a fool.

Because all I ever did was to love someone that will never love me back.

I just wrote it as it is, so if it does have grammatical errors excuse my old self for it. I just want it to be the original and first version of the poem, I think it's more memorable that way.

But now that I grown up, if you were to ask me if I would date him now, I probably won't because we're just not compatible and I don't think we are for each other. And young people often forget that part, it's easy to like someone but when having a relationship I think compatibility is really a thing to consider, not it a way that you have to like whatever the other person likes. It's just that you need to have that "click" and looking back I realized we didn't have it and it's fine. I am yet to discover who I will click with and that excites me!

If you want to know more about my college journey, read here:

My college journey: https://read.cash/@deedum/my-college-journey-e5a201ba

How I studied to pass the CPA Licensure Exams: https://read.cash/@deedum/how-i-studied-to-become-a-magna-cum-laude-5fbf84e1

See you around! 🌤