Love- Are you scared of it?

If you have loved and your heart was broken one too many times, it is always a challenge to let love in because of the fear that the past might repeat itself. We all know that love is a beautiful feeling but when it goes wrong, it can be deadly and not many recover from it.

Many of us may not know but this is a condition known as Philophobia. "Philo" is a word that means love and "phobia" is a word that means fear so philophobia can easily be defined as fear of falling in love or having any emotional attachment.

People who suffer from philophobia are usually afraid of commitment. They may not understand why the fear. They are always drowned in panic when about to fall in love leaving the person with whom they are about to start a relationship, totally confused. Philophobes often retreat into long periods of solitude driving away anyone that tries to come close. They enjoy being alone and women experience this more than men.

Causes of philophobia

• Heartbreak

• Bad parental upbringing where the - child grew up starved of love

• Bad sexual experiences

• Divorce

• Loss of a loved one.

Symptoms of philophobia

Although symptoms vary from individuals to individuals, they may include both emotional and physical reactions such as:

• Feeling of intense fear or panic

• Complete avoidance of romantic settings

• Avoidance of wedding and marriage ceremonies

• Physical signs such as sweating, racing heartbeat, difficulty in breathing, nausea or even fainting .

The behaviour of a philophobe when it comes to love

1. A philophobe will always look for flaws in the person they are attracted to.

2. They always get attracted to someone they know will break their heart so as to justify that relationship is a waste of time.

3. They find it difficult to trust. To them, everyone is a potential heartbreaker.

4. They are always stuck in the past. They seek for their ex in every new relationship. They seek assurance that the new prospect will not hurt them.

5. They are good at keeping friends with benefits. They love sex but avoid spending much time with the person doing anything that doesn't involve sex.

How to love a philophobe

• Understand that they are in serious fear and it is no fault of theirs.

• Never pressure them to do things they are not willing to do.

• Show them you genuinely care by being consistent.

• Don't rush them to express their feelings for you.

• Be there for them and encourage them to seek help if there are no signs of improvement..

To the philophobes out there, it may be difficult to love again. I know this because I used to be one but understand that love is about opening your heart and letting peace and happiness envelope you. There is no guarantee that a relationship will last forever and there is none that it wouldn't so if you never give it a try, how would you know? Live in the moment and let someone heal you.

Note: philophobia is not a social disorder but it can be serious and when exceeding a period of 6 months, the philophobe needs to see a doctor for medical treatment.