Reasons Why You Need to Have Your Own Place once You're Married

81 146
Avatar for damelindz
4 years ago

Why do you need to have your own place once you're married?

I know for sure that many can relate or answer this question. This is a common problem that a married couple had to face.

When my husband and I decided to settle down here in Roxas, City, we had to live in my mother-in-law's house at first. Since we are new to the place and my husband had to look for a job, we had no choice but to stay there. It was okay at first but as time goes by, the problem started to occur. She always nagged about everything. She kept on complaining about how big our expenses were. She always had a say in everything. And these stresses me out, I often complain to my husband and told him that we should have a place of our own. He told me to be more patient, that our money was not enough to rent a place yet.

It was like that for years. Every day, I had to go through the same problem. And believe me, It was really hard and stressful. Sometimes, I just silently cried in the corner to relieve stress.

So let me give you some reasons why do we need to have a place of our own once married. These are based on my experience.

  1. Let's just say that in a castle, there's only one Queen and King, right? Once you have your own place, whether it is rented or not, you will have your "privacy" which is very important in a married couple. Like me, I'm an introvert so I prefer to have my own space where I can move freely. And my husband is also an introvert so we have the same thoughts on this.

  2. You can do whatever you want. It's up to you whether you would just lay in bed for the whole day, or wake up late or not clean your house. No one will nag you about it. "Your house, your rules"

  3. You would learn to be independent of everything. What to cook, how to budget, how to decorate your house, what things to buy, or even what color of paint to be used in the house, etc....

  4. You have control over your child. How to discipline your child, what things that you want to instill in your child without any objection from others.

  5. No one will interfere when you have a problem. There are only 2 adults in your house, you and your husband, so no one will interfere. In married life, there shouldn't be someone who will get between the couple. Because most of the time, small problems become huge when someone interferes or we can say, someone added a flame to the fire.

  6. Financially responsible. Both of you would decide how to budget your finances/expenses. You will learn to save money. You will also learn to work for yourselves because you have no one to pay for your bills.

  7. You will grow as a husband and wife. You will know more about each other. You will have the privacy to discover new things together.

  8. You will have your own identity as a family. You can make your own family traditions.

  9. Less stress. You can move freely without someone eyeing you.

  10. Peace of mind. That is priceless.

Now, that we had a house of our own (thanks to my father-in-law, he is the one who helps us to have our own house), I have a piece of mind, less stress and we became independent. Let me share some photos of my family in our home.

Everything we have in our house, we acquired it from our diligence and perseverance.

Leaving your parents doesn't mean you don't love them. They can breathe freely because they also need a quiet place. They will also have fewer finances since you move out of the house. It's a win-win situation, if I may say.

My husband's parents separated when he was just a child. My mother-in-law passed away due to lung cancer while my father-in-law is currently residing in Canada with her wife.

*all photos are mine*

47
$ 2.55
$ 2.39 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.05 from @esciisc
$ 0.05 from @Jane
+ 3
Sponsors of damelindz
empty
empty
empty
Avatar for damelindz
4 years ago

Comments

hahaha... lol

living with parents or someone else when married isn't good experience, I guess

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Well said... i have nothing more to add.. but sometimes it depends on the situation.. i am currently living with my in laws and as much as i would like to separate my own family it just turned to arguments with my wife. Picture this, her parents were both uneducated, as in even writing a ingle letter is not in their memory so who do you think will assist them if they only have one one child?

$ 0.01
3 years ago

Oh I see, your wife has a point. She cannot leave her parents due to that reason. And I guess your in-laws are not giving you a hard time, right?

$ 0.00
3 years ago

yeah.. they have been so good to me that i don't have reasons to dislike them....

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Good for you, only few are blessed with in-laws😂, just kidding.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Amazing home. Privacy is really important to couples

$ 0.00
4 years ago

True, that is the forst thing that you should have before starting a family, a home..

$ 0.00
4 years ago

That's a nice article.. Your house your rule ..Really that's awesome

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you sungjin..

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Amazing one

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Absolutley, even away from roomates, when (truthfully) you can walk through your hosue wearing wahtever you want. Thats what life about XD

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Exactly, you can wear whatever you want or wear nothing at all.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Nice thanks for information Dear

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you dear.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

You have written on a good topic

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you for having the time reading my post jen

$ 0.00
4 years ago

yeah you are quite right dear.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you reshma

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Good one

$ 0.00
4 years ago

These reasons why people need to have their own place once they're married are well presented. "Your house, your rules" is very realistic.

Thanks for sharing it!

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you for the compliment MJCD03.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

It's really hard to live with ypur inlaws. There would always be constant misunderstandings and of course the never ending nagging. I can say this based on my observation. When I was younger, we live near my grannies and at times, I can see my grandma nagging my mom 😅 In laws always have a lot to say eh.

I'm not sure whether it's eybyoung or mommy Yen who wrote about it, but what I remember is that, you can also be more lovey dovey with your spouse when you have your own house 😆

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Exactly, you will discover new things together, physically and emotionally that you cannot do when you live with your inlaws.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Privacy is really needed, especially to those who's planning to get married. So before you settle down you should own a house first because it is so hard to live with your in-laws especially if you are not the one whos spending in the house.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

So true, it is a must!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts regarding my work melon0666.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Sure sure, youre welcome, and congratulations to your freedom from your you know ✌️

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Hahaha, thank you!

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Hehehe 😂✌️

$ 0.00
4 years ago

All the points you outlined above are so it. Privacy is something that allow for peace of mind and gives way to free movement. Not only for you, but also for the party you are inconvenienting. I'm happy you're able to secure your own house.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

It took us years to finally have our own house, it's hard but once you saw the fruit of your labor,it's all worth it.

Thank you for having time to read my article persieking.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

You're welcome

$ 0.00
4 years ago

You should have your own place when getting married. It is really hard living with in-laws, based on the movies and series I have watched, lol. Now, I want to make sure that my future husband won't let me live with his parents, or I won't marry him. TBH.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Hahaha, make it a requirement for him to have a house if he really wants to marry you.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

I will probably do that. Lol. Hahahaha. And he should be earning money

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Of course.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

nice written article dear....thanks for advices....beautiful couple.....i wish you happy marriage

$ 0.00
4 years ago

I'm glad that you liked it teji.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

By the way beautyful couple.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you shoemake

$ 0.00
4 years ago

I can not relate to this since I don't have a family yet.. But I guess it is understandable how it feels to live with the in laws.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Well, you'll know once you get there. Or better yet, consider having your own place first before settling down.

By the way, thank you for reading my article jane, your one of the writers that I admire here in read.cash

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Oh really? Sorry for the late notice of your article.. I seldom visit the homepage and only saw this the moment I commented here.. Looking forward to reading your other articles 😁

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you ms.jane....

$ 0.00
4 years ago

thank you for article you are beautiful lady

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you for the compliment singlenorman.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

I can relate to this 😞😞

$ 0.00
4 years ago

I was about to mention you here 😅

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Yeah, already saw it 😅

$ 0.00
4 years ago

For sure , many can relate to this because we can't hide the fact that living with our inlaws is the major problem,I think, for the married couple.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Yeah, no matter how good they are there will always be conflict in the future that is uncontrollable.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

True, base on your comment, I can say that you're living with your inlaws too. Hang in there, I know for sure, time will come that you'll have a place you can call your own.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Yeah, I hope so thank you so much. I am happy for you that you are now the Queen of your own Castle.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

That's so nice of you eybyoung, thank you.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Haha. This is so true. Unless you have super kind in-laws, living with them is such a pain in the neck. Your every move will be monitored, you can't take a rest for a while because you'll be called lazy. No me-time. You have to consider everyone when making a decisions, and many others things. Haha.

I'm happy for you that you have your own home now. ❤

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Exactly gwenie hahaha. So before settling down, one must consider to have a place of their own.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

True. Financial capacity and stability is one of the major things that should be considered when creating a family of your own. This way you don't have to depend on in-laws.

Love can't really conquer all, especially in-laws that are always feeling superior. 😂😂

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Hahaha, but no matter how manipulative or "evil" our in-laws are(sorry for the term), we should not go against them. My mother told me that😂, I don't know why though.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Well, I believe it depends. Depends on the in-law's way of thinking. 🤔 Because for me, respect should be earned. Not because they're older, they're always right and I should respect that. Haha.

But I respect your beliefs too or what your mom told you. You know, we are all made of different beliefs and perceptions of things. 😁

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Hahaha, btw thanks for sharing your thoughts on this😄

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Having fun with free tension only can give own property. Becouse you know, anyone can enjoy doing anything on their own property. Married or unmarried, everyone need their own property for better living. Nice concept. I really like it

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this marielle. Really appreciated.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

You are most welcome

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Nothing like living in your own house.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

True, your place, your rules.😄

$ 0.00
4 years ago

In our country, so many people don't have their own house. They always live here and there. Its so hard to see but I can't do anything except pray for them.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

What country are you from? I thought you're also a Filipino. You can see them almost everywhere regardless of which country they're from. It is due to poverty and most of the time, tardiness.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

I am from Bangladesh, dear.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Oh I see, I think there are many Bangladeshi here in read.cash..

$ 0.01
4 years ago

Yes, dear. I also happy for them.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Am I right with the word Bangladeshi?

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Yes, dear you're.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Living with inlaws is difficult unless you're the one who is paying all the bills. 😅

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Hahaha, true. In our case, she is the one who pays the bill because at that time my husband doesn't have a stable job.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Incredible post buddy

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Hahaha...this guy never read any article.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

We used to have a peaceful life when we were living separately, but everything changed suddenly, and our happiness was ruined. But hopefully, by next year, we can make our own house too. Living in an extended family setup is very hard, I can attest to it. 😅Feels like you're being surveillance in anything that you do.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Exactly, you can't move freely.

Good luck on your plan eommazel, in God's help I'm sure it will happen..

$ 0.00
4 years ago