As someone who is not getting any younger anymore, never gets pregnant ever, and has some physical needs (not the kind of needs you have in mind though) to consider, I think it's time for me to make a decision that will definitely change my life.
I want to give birth at 35.
Is it wrong to wish for this? Is it wrong to want to become a mom? Is it wrong to just do something just for the sake of getting pregnant?
Okay, if we talk about morals, yes, I am aware that my idea is a bit immoral. I should find someone to become my husband first before even planning something like this.
But before you judge me, here are a few of my reasons why:
Age
Age is a big factor in my decision. I've heard that women who never get pregnant ever will have a hard time bearing a child at the age of 30s.
There are several risks too: miscarriage, birth defects, twins, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, and difficult labor.
So if I wait for more years again, then these risks will surely go doubled. Plus, as you all know, I'm a person with a disability, so if I keep waiting then it will be hard for me to handle my pregnancy.
I only want a baby
I don't think I could find a husband material. Someone who will truly love me unconditionally. Someone willing to take me as I am.
And I don't want to wait and waste my time for nothing. Actually, I've already thought about it many times since I was in my mid-20s. My initial plan was to do it in my mid- or late-20s, but my conscience tells me to wait.
I did wait for years. I met a few guys and all they did was break my heart as well as my trust. Now, I don't think I can trust again.
I don't want to adopt
And sorry, I don't want to adopt a child. I really want to have my own. That's unless I'm infertile, then I might reconsider adopting an infant. But for now, I'll stick to my plan.
So what exactly is my plan?
Find someone. Discuss the plan. If he agrees with my terms and conditions, then that's it!
I've already prepared some rules too. Here's a list of them:
No strings attached.
He cannot disclose any information to anyone unless I say so.
The baby will use my last name and not his.
He will be known as the father, but he is not allowed to demand or anything.
These will be my rules for now. Who knows I'll add more in the future.
Am I ready to have a baby?
I do think I am. I have save something for the future and with BCH, who knows I'll be financially more ready.
Emotionally, yes! I also believe that if I'm a good furmom to my furbabies and aunt to my siblings' kiddos, then I think I'm more than ready for my own. Plus, I have my mom to back me up I guess.
The only issue is that I'm a shy typed person so I don't know how to execute my plan. I know it seems easy, but it's actually not. I'm not worried about people's opinion, but I just don't have the courage to really ask someone to do it.
By the way, I won't do it to any random guy though. There will always be certain requirements that I need to check before I say YES to this guy. And I'll make sure to pick the right person so I won't deal with future problems with him.
Closing thoughts
Before I lose the chance to become a mom, I'm just going to do it without emotions involved. Honestly, if only we could just download a baby on Google Play Store, I would love to download my future little one. I don't mind paying though.
Am I desperate? Maybe, but it's already planned for year's so hopefully, I'll have the guts to do it soon.
First I thought that you wanted to trick a one night stand into becoming a father. 🙈 I'm glad that's not the case. 😅
Why do you believe that?
I hate to say it, but are you unwilling to work on yourself for the sake of having a relationship?
I think Eybyoung gave you really good advice. Having a child is not all about completing your life. It's also - or probably even more about the child.
I'm not the best person to suggest that, but it would be better for the child to have parents who are doing well together.
I understand that you don't want to put yourself in a vulnerable position. However, maybe you can find a partner who you can live and raise the child together with - even if you're not heads over heels in love with him.