My kind of syndrome

A syndrome as defined in Oxford Languages is a group of symptoms which consistently occur together, or a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms. Do you have any syndrome of your own?

Out of all the companies that I have worked with in the past, there is only 1 company where I stayed longer than a year and a half. Looking back, I think I do have that 1 year and a half syndrome. I remember when one of my college friends was helping me ace an interview and she happened to revise my resume, she noticed about my tenure in a company. If my friend noticed it, employers also did. I can never forget the last company that I have worked with wherein the general manager really pointed out about it. She said that she was having doubts about me because I do not stay long in a company. No matter how good my justification was with why I resigned in my past jobs, her intuition was so great that she was able to see right through me yet she still gave me a chance to prove myself. However, I only stayed at the said company for 6 months because I was already dragging myself to work. I got burned up from the previous company where I stayed the longest that I thought changing my working environment will do good but it became worst.

I guess I have to admit that I do have that "a year and a half syndrome" wherein I start to get tired about what I do after a year or so. But I really do not know if it is considered a syndrome or a curse. The real reason behind why I suddenly quit my first job after being with them for exactly a yesr and a half was because I was forced to resign by my parents. I did something really unlikely of me that shook them and then they did not allow me to go to work. My mom called the store to tell them that I would not be reporting from work any longer. I was prohibited in making any calls and using the internet during those times. It may sound like a scene from a drama but yes, I was like I was on house arrest. I only got my phone weeks after those shocking events when I promised my parents that I will not be in contact with the people I have worked with. And in less than a month, I got to start a new job in a different company and I only lasted a year because marketing was a little too stressful for me. Then the company after that, I lasted for 13 months. I was enjoying my stay with the company until they transferred me to a branch that was a little too far from home. I can actually endure the 2 hour commute going to and from work, 12 or 13 hours at most of shift and less than 5 hours of sleep. However, what I hated about the company was the management. I know I am part of the management team as well but I cannot stand people who abuses their position. I can never forget the time when I had to work with a 40⁰C fever in a food service environment because no one can relieve me that day because some managers really value their rest day. I do understand that they also want to rest but I find it unjust and inhumane that they made me feel that it was my fault that I got sick. Maybe they can also consider why I got sick in the first place. I had to beg them that I won't be reporting for work the following days as I was still sick. Ordinary fever medicine did not work on me that our next door neighbor who is doctor adviced me to rest for 2-3 days. I got all the rest I needed during those days and was able to watch a few Kor3an dramas. Oh, I can never forget that. I was so happy that I was able to rest without thinking about work. And when I got back, I found out that one of my co-managers was forced to take my shift because I was sick and she also started pointing everything that I do was wrong. I tried to just let it pass despite the hardships that I have been experiencing but she keeps on getting on my nerves. She was also close to the higher management that is why she feels so powerful. She was the reason why I quit but of course I did not tell the company about it. On my 4th company, I cannot help but to feel pressured when I was nearing my 1 year in the company because of my previous jobs. I also felt like I was about to give up but thankfully, I was able to surpass that a year and a half syndrome as I have stayed with them the longest.

You probably now that I have been here in this platform for a year and a half now. I know this is not something that can be compared to a day job but I can also feel that I am slowly drifting away from what once started as my outlet for everything. I may say that the earnings play a role on it but even if we are to disregard it, I am running out of stories to tell. I feel like I have already shared everything about my life and the lessons that I have learned as well as my opinions and thoughts to some topics. The same goes with noise.cash. But even before I was really having a hard time to make some quality noisy post because I want my photo to be related to my post. I do not want to attach photos that has nothing to do with what I am going to say. I know photos that we may or may not add photos but it is something that can attract some people to read our posts. Although there are some that only comments about the photo and not really about the posts. I do not want to say that language is a barrier to us anymore because we can easily translate some words nowadays. I do not know if what I am feeling right now is just because of that "a year and a half syndrome" but I certainly hope that it is not the case. Because if it is, I feel like I am only good in doing things for less than a year.

Anyway, have you also experienced something similar to what I have been experiencing? How do you deal with it?

June 15, 2022

P.S. lead image is a photo of my watch that is somehow connected to my kind of syndrome, time.