Is social stratification important in love?

I bet majority of us have fallen in love maybe once or more than once in our life. I am actually the type of person who easily falls in love with someone especially when I would see their good side and if there is a connection. But you all know that one of the characteristics of a guy that is on my list is his looks. I always fall in love with guys who are good looking that. What do you look for in a partner? Does a person's status in life included in your list?

Whether it is in reel or real life, a person's status is oftentimes the issue of some people whether it is our parents, relatives or friends. In one of my recent articles, I did mention that I feel in love with a gas boy. Even if he was a gas boy, he was still able to finish his studies but because competition was tougher when getting a job especially some companies prefer applicants who graduated from top schools. As what he told me and as how I can remember it, he took up mechanical engineering at a university in the province. Then he applied at a gas station and was hired right away. He was not only a pump attendant but he also helps in car washing, detailing and auto mechanic. It was easy to fall in love with him not only because of what he looked like but because he was also a good person plus the fact that we get to see each other 5-6 times a week (depends if we happened to have the same rest day). Then the other guy who was making some moves on me the same time that I was starting to fall in love with the gas boy was a graduate from a known school but not from the top schools and was working at a BPO company. Like I have said, both guys were not approved by mom. Her reason was that they were not professionals. I had an earful especially when I had told my mom that a gas boy was telling me that he likes me. Because of that, she became even stricter and wanted me to quit my job.

I do not know why some parents are so against their children dating people that are not of the same or high status level. Given my career path, majority of the people that I worked with did not graduate from top schools but they have finished their studies. Most likely I will really end up falling in love with them since we see each other almost everyday right? It is very rare to be in a relationship with a guest. Well some restaurant guests may notice some food servers and show their admiration to them as I have experienced a few guests who would ask me out for coffee. One was a law student and the other was a Chinese businessman who was probably in his late 30s while I was only 19. It was my first job and being in a coffee shop can really build a good rapport with guests even if it was just a short chit-chat. What happened with those 2 guys? I didn't go out with them not because they were our guests but I didn't like their looks. Was I bad? Honestly, I am really more into looks followed by their attitude and money or status are the least of my concern. My standards are not really that high right?

Majority of us would have a crush on someone based on their looks then our feeling will grow bigger and deeper if we will get to know them even more especially if some of their traits are what we are looking for in a partner. It will be the total opposite if the person is not beautiful inside. Though there are still some who still fall in love whether they have bad traits. They say love is blind right?

I know that parents only want what is best for their children that is why they have high standards. But I do not get why some are so serious with a person's status in life. There were a lot of stories that I have heard from my mom and her sisters since they had a lot of suitors back in the days. Some were average, some were below and some were above. Thanks to Facebook, they saw their suitors after decades. They found out that their suitors who were average and below were now big time and those suitors that were above were either now dead or is living an average life. It does not always mean that if we are low, we would always stay low and if we are high, we would always stay high. That's why they say that the world is round. My mom and my sisters did not have any regret with whom they ended up with. I feel like the older generations think that if you date this person, you have to end up with them because my my mom and my aunts ended up with their fiest boyfriends. Out of all the suitors that they had, the one that they answered became their husbands. That is why I think that it is the reason why mom was so against in me having a boyfriend. They are from the conservative era.

If you are going to be or already a parent, would you forbid your child to date someone who is not the same social status as your family currently have? Or what would be your criteria for your child if they were to date someone? For me, if I were to have a child, I just want him/her to date someone who he/she loves as long as this person has a good record, who does not gamble, does not do drugs, not alcoholic and not violent. I want him/her to date someone or end up with someone who is God fearing, Christ-centered and most especially someone responsible. Well those are also my criteria for what I look for in a guy but I will have to add good looks. LOL. I really admire and respect parents who do not judge, discriminate or look down on other people especially if it is the partner of their children that they will whole heartedly accept them into their family with no pretensions. Speaking of which, aside from the criteria that I want in a guy, I also want his parents to accept me whole heartedly as who I really am with what I have and don't have and that we would get along especially if they are going to be my in-laws. It is scary and intimidating to have in-laws who would look down on you don't you think?

Whoever we end up to, I hope that it is with someone who will love, respect and value us the same way that we would do to them no matter who we are.

May 25, 2022

P.S. lead image is a photo with my last flirtationship.