How do you forgive a person who has wronged you? In my previous article, cheater, I have asked a question if we are to give a second chance to a person who cheated on us. For @QueenRay, she said that it is very hard to give a cheater a second chance. While with @Ellehcim, she does not recommend giving them a second chance. I on the other hand find it difficult to answer my question. However I can forgive a person but it is hard for me to forget. Though it actually depends on how serious the offense was. If it was just a petty thing, a simple sorry resolves it. There are also fights that there is an awkwardness after reconciliation. With a cheating partner, technically I have not experienced it because I never had an official relationship but in my opinion, I think I would give them a second chance only if they have proved that they are worthy for a second chance. How do you forgive a person who cheated on you?
Based on your past experiences, how do you define forgiveness? Up to what extent do we need to forgive a person? In my years of existence, I forgave some people in my life. I have forgotten some of it and some of those have already been engraved on my mind and heart. They say that to forgive is to forget but there are times that it is really hard to let go of what has happened as it has caused a lot of pain and misery to our lives. Again comes the "everything happens for a reason", one of my many favorite quotes.
We all are not perfect. We lie, we cheat, we get mad, we say words out of the spur of the moment and we hurt people. When I lied to my mom and she found out about it, I broke her trust. She forgave me for what I did but it was hard for her to forget everything that had happened. Until this day I know that she does not trust me and I know that it is a lifelong consequence to the action that I did before. I just have to live with it. When I fought with my brother when we were already old, he did not talk to me for months. When he was telling a story to my mom and my cousin, I was making faces with my mouth while my eyebrow was raised. He noticed me and he really wanted to punch me in the face but our mom tried to stopped him and act as my shield. That was actually an intense moment but I still kept on making faces. LOL. I was really a mean brat back then. I cannot remember how we patched things up but we did not apologize with each other. After months of not talking to each other, we just started like nothing happened and I am really glad that my relationship with my brother is better than ever.
I think that if a family member has committed a sin or did something bad, his or her family will always be there for them and they would forgive them no matter what they did. Just like with most cheating husbands or wives. Their reason for giving them a second chance is for their children. They do not want their children to grow up having a broken family. I have heard some stories about cheating husbands when I had my parish renewal experience almost a decade ago. They were happy that their spouses forgave them and gave them a chance to change and they changed for the better. Their infidelities have even made their relationship with their spouses even stronger. Though there are still some people that was given a lot of chances but did not change.
Sometimes it is easy for us to forgive others and sometimes it isn't. Though it feels really good when we forgive a person. It is like you have lifted that heaviness in your chest or that weight in your shoulders when you have finally forgive other people. When a person has wronged us, we sometimes hold a grudge against them that makes it hard for us to forgive them. That grudge would sometimes lead to taking revenge, committing a sin or can also push us away from other people. That is why it is very important that we forgive other people. It is ok if we cannot forget about it but it would be much better if we can just put everything behind. Most importantly is that we should also learn how to forgive ourselves. Just like with self love, we can only know how to forgive others if we know how to forgive ourselves. Make peace, not war. Spread the love, stop the hate.
Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Forgiving also doing ourselves a favor. To let go of any grudges in our heart that would hinder us from experiencing true joy. But forgiving doesn't mean that we will just forget what they've done. Forgiving doesn't need reconnectiom with that person.