My bags are packed and ready to go
Blog:233-7th
Date :March 29,2023
Time :11:49amYesterday, I vent out here what I feel and I am thankful for those who truly understand what I am going through. I didn't have any plan to write an article yesterday coz my mind was a mess but I guess I made the right decision to vent it out here coz after writing that article I felt better. I was so emotional yesterday, I was crying the whole time I was writing the article. Crying for me is a big help. That's my way of expressing myself.
So, to continue the story. Since I still didn't find a house for us to stay, I still don't have any choice but to go home to our house. Hubby and I casually talk if we need something but we didn't talk about the issue. We eat together just like the normal days. After we eat I lay down and fall asleep since I was so tired the other night. I didn't get enough sleep and I lose so much of my energy crying, shouting, and throwing things. I can feel the effect of what I did, my body is aching in Bisaya I can feel the pamaol all over my body. I exert so much energy for throwing things especially heavy ones.
However, there were no signs of my husband initiating the talk. So I did I packed some clothes for my son and myself and I told my daughter to bring her uniform as we will be staying at my parent's place. The husband sees that I am bringing some clothes but still he never says a word. I told my daughter to take the bus today coz I still need to pack more things before I will leave the house and I don't want her to be late for school. My husband leaves the house first as he needs to catch the 7 am ride. When he found out that my daughter will take a bus he decided to go back to our house. I was shocked that he didn't take the bus. He just told me that I had no one to help me carry the things and my son while driving the motorcycle. Then I started crying again, I was like at the back of my mind so it is okay for him for us to leave the house and leave him alone? So I tried to open up the topic, I told him if it is okay with him if we leave the house, then he said of course not but nothing he can do coz I already made my decision. That's not what I wanted to hear. I wanted him to do something just to make our family intact but it didn't happen.
I expect him to say sorry and ask me not to leave the house but you know the pride of boys always prevails. He asked forgiveness for the words he has said that causes me so much pain but he told me he will never ask for forgiveness about the things I was implying like he was cheating. Honestly, I didn't say he was cheating, I just ask and what I just need is a simple explanation. I am not so stupid that I will understand if he just explains his side.
I remind him to be mindful of his words and think about who he is talking to so it won't happen again. He then hugged me.
Packing the things and trying not to go home was just a test for him of what he will do but to be honest I am too tired of doing that leaving thing. Imagine I have to bring more stuff coz I have 2 kids one is a toddler. Then we don't feel comfortable if we live at my parent's place. If my husband didn't go back to our house maybe it will be the end of the marriage. Luckily God gave us the chance to talk and settle the issue.
Ending thoughts
For me, it's us wives who control the family because if we will give up too easily then the family will be broken. I've been through a lot of pain and trials in my marriage life. I just hope that God will still give me more strength to overcome any trials I will encounter. I know it is not the last time we will have an argument I just hope that next time he will not trigger the bad side of me as I don't want to be that way either.
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To my ever-dearest readers, upvoters, and likers who still continue to support me up until this time, thank you for your precious time and for your efforts. I love you all.
Hivers let's connect
https://ecency.com/hive-109667/@bigeyes2012/let-me-introduce-myself
parang ako ngayon. i decided narin na i let go yung partner ko as if Wala akong nakikitang pagbabago. luckily hindi kami kasal kaya i can do whatever we want after this ang iniisip ko nalang talaga yung mga bata. hindi naman siya babaero or mabisyo ang isang kinakakayawan ko sa kanyan is jindi niya maapreciate yung mga ginagawa ko at hindi man lang niya ko matulungan. wala siyang pakiramdam sa mga nangyayari ang nais lang niya is yung siya ang uunawaan. nakakapagod na laging ganun na siya nalang kaya.. this year ito na tlaaga give up na ko. Ang tanging nasa isip ko nalang talaga kaya doubted parin ako ay yung mga anak ko ayoko maging broken family sila. Hays ang hirap maging babae talaga. Puso kasi natin,pusong monay eh. pero hindi ko suya kinakausap ngayon bahala siya sa buhay niya. Concern ko lang talaga mga anak ko.
Napahaba ang comments ko. Bakit ganun mga lalaki,ano sis? 😢