I let down my walls a bit (it was worth it)

The academic workload I have is starting to get heavy since midterms week is fast approaching. While it may not be as terrifying as it had been before since we already got used to it, the pressure is more suffocating since these are all major subjects.

Anyway, there is this subject that our block bond over since the professor is so confusing. This is the only time when admitting you do not understand the question or that you got lost in the discussion is not embarrassing since you know everyone feels the same way too.

This subject has a group requirement to be passed next week. We were able to choose our groupmates so we were somehow close with each other but not that much. You know it is because of COVID.

This group is actually starting to get along quite well then COVID happened and we sort of just give each other space since we never really chatted each other before.

But because of this requirement, I was able to have a glimpse of what could-have-beens if COVID did not happen. The friendships that could have formed and the connection we would have felt with each other are something that I deeply regret.

Back to the story, we usually use Discord to talk about group activities since it is what we are already used to. The first two people who arrived at the channel was me and my bestfriend of around 8 years.

We were just talling about random stuff while waiting for the others then we started joking around with our groupmates since they were late. It was just a funny act since we were not really irritated.

When they finally hopped onto the server, we were laughing. We started to work on our script for the video. We have a shared Google Document so we can edit it simultaneously.

As we were doing this, another group for a different subject messaged our group chat. The matter was just a small thing but it irritated me so I ranted to our group in Discord while we were editing the document.

You know, I really hate it when other people want to make their problems yours to deal with. I already took the initiative for that different group just so we can have progress and then the cannot even do some simple adjustments in their part of the document.

Like I said, it was just a petty matter but I hate people who just can not seem to think for themselves. It seems that my Discord groupmates are in agreement since they have their fair share of complaints with the other blocks.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the groupings in that other subject is composed of 2 students from each block so you can imagine how much we differ from one another.

After ranting, we continued to work on our script in relative silence. So we managed to finish it quite fast because we are all doing our part.

Once we rechecked everything, we had a bit of some talk. At first it was just some mild teasing then it turned into a more personalized discussion. We talked about if we are still happy with our course.

This simple question gave us an insight to what the others are thinking. We figured out that only one of us actually wanted to truly pursue Instrumentation and Control Enginering. Most of us just found ourselves in the course by some twist of fate.

You know as it was happening, I can not help but think how close we would have been if we had continued attending physical classes together. It felt as if everyone is heard then even though we are just talking virtually with our cameras closed. Yet the connection is there.

I feel happy to have opened up just a bit because it showed me that I actually have blockmates that I enjoy talking to. I just hope that in our last year we could at least catch up on some lost time.

It also amazing to know that I was not the only one who thinks this way. A groupmate tweeted about how he wonders about how deep our friendships could have been if it weren't for COVID.

When we left the server tonight, I think all of us are thinking the same way. We all prpbably carried some kind of regret of not knowing each other more because of the circumstances.