Driving silently in this peaceful road listening to music, going to where my dream destination is. The night is still young but I want to reach the place in early time. I smile looking at the street lights, this is what I love to see......what we both love to see. I remembered our first time going on a road trip together, we were so happy enjoying the night with these lights and that was also the time I said yes to him and it feels so nostalgic looking back at it now.
I heard my phone notify. I smiled at the name of the texter.
"where are you?" that was the text said.
"getting close now" I type for replied.
"Joyyyyyy" he shouted. "Ohh?" I shouted back and started laughing at the view of him looking scared that we might get caught being in this private property. He really looks scared-- "come on, there's no one here, its just us. No need to worry." I said as I walk back to him. We were on a road trip again and I decided to stop by at this private beach property or whatever you call it. It's so beautiful here and I want to swim in the middle of the night but this man here, my boyfriend is a good man and too scared that we might get caught sneaking into someone's property.
"We'll go after we take a dip, alright?" he declared. I smiled widely at him and hug him and start running to the water while admiring how beautiful the moon shining its reflection to the sea, it makes the place more attractive. The owner probably so lucky to have this kind of place.
I felt someone behind me and suddenly hugged me from the back. We listened to the music of the waves splashing to the shore. It feels surreal being in the arms of your love, feeling the silence and peacefulness of the place. I wish this would be forever--
I faced him and put my arms around his shoulder, he then put his to my waist and danced without music feeling the warmth of each other and listening to our heart as it beats rapidly... "I will always love you, Joy" He suddenly stated. "I will be forever inlove with you..... Niall" I powered back. We smiled at each other and then suddenly he added his words with something that melted my heart. "I'm gonna marry you someday, I promise and will do it." he added while he look at me with those black eyes drowning me with love. I was taken back, that promise got me speechless, tears started forming in my eyes. I don't really know what to say, I just hugged him and cried silently at his bare shoulder. To be honest, I still can't believe that there will be someone who is willing to spend his life with me, a person who accepted me for being me, even though I don't have anything to offer, he willingly stayed by my side as we both reaching our dreams.......
Our love was so perfect that I started believing that we will end up with each other.
That night was so special that I didn't expect that things would fall apart.
I just arrived at the place. The place where the promise was made. I walked to the garden and greeted by people whom I'm familiar with, these people are their friends but not mine. I don't really have people whom I can call friends because I'm not that sociable, he was the first one and his friends but things got complicated but now we are making things okay.
"Hi, doctora!" someone shouted that causes the others to turn their heads on my direction. I smiled and waved."Uhm, Hi?!" Someone walked straight to my way and welcomed me with his open arms. "Welcome?!" he said to me with those happy smile "I miss you.." he said while embracing me, I chuckled slowly and God knows how I tried so hard to not make my eyes teary. You don't know how much I miss you, how much I longed for you....I thought. It has been 8 years since I last saw him, I tapped his back to break the hug. My eyes widened seeing the other two boy friends of his whom I can also call as my friends, they're waiting for me to come to them, I smiled running towards them and hug them both. "I missed you both." I chuckled. I miss having them as my friends. Jack and Pat were the friends I wish to never lose. "It's good to see you too, Joy." Jack said smiling with his signature cocky smile, never changed. I smiled because I know he'll tease me from being a Doctor now. "Did you eat already?" Pat asked. I smiled "No, I assume you guys have a lot of foods here so I didn't bother to." He just rolled his eyes at my remarks. Ohh! that habit of his still didn't change. He used to do that when he knows I am lying. Jack and I started laughing and suddenly interrupted with an angel voice. "Hi Joy, I thought you wouldn't come." My smile faded and turn to look at her. She's beside him smiling widely "Thank you for coming, btw." she added. I just nodded and smiled because I don't really talk to others rather than these two.... and him "uhh, we have foods here feel free to get what you want and Pat can you show her the room she will be staying at?." and Pat being Pat just nodded. I smiled, and the three of us headed to the food place.
This is what I am now, a Doctor, I've achieved the dream of mine.... but sadly without him by my side. Things don't really go according to what we planned, it will always take the other side of the way. Just like us, we dreamt of being together forever, he dreamt of marrying me and promised to live with me 'till we turn old and grey but things break apart and all I have left now was words, his words and promises. I laughed at myself while looking at the mirror here in the comfort room of my room. It's funny how I can and was able to look at them a while ago. It hurts seeing him with her, It hurts to think that he who promised marrying me, ended up marrying her. Yes, he ended up wanting to marry her, and now I am attending the wedding he promised to happen for me. Tomorrow is his big day and I still need to get my self ready for it.
I still can't sleep so I walk through the window door and star at the moon. It feels nostalgic because the moment I looked at the moon it reminded me of every night we go on a road trip. The moon always remind me that there's a point in my life that he loved me and that's more than enough.
btw, their wedding is held in the beach where he promised to marry me and yes the girl he's marrying owned the beach where we danced under the moonlight with love overflowing around us but our story ended up and his continued with the love of his life, Anna--- an angel and loveable girl.
"Joy?" I heard someone outside the door and I know it's Pat. I fixed myself and smiled before opening the door. He smiled too upon seeing me. "It's time." he declared with those meaningful eyes and I know it's not just about the time of the wedding but also the time to let go of him from my heart, it's time to face the fact and accept everything now.
The people are excited and happy I can see it through their eyes and I don't know what to look like, should I smile or just keep my straight face?
I sat in the chair on the back side, I don't really want them to see me, I'm just here to finally see the man I love get married with his love. I know it's sad but sadness is my friend now.
The wedding started and I'm just watching the people smiling until the time the bride will walk down the aisle I'm supposed to be on, hahaha--- their theme song started and I can see the man I dreamed get his eyes teary. The whole time he watches her going to him and the people around us, my eyes were in him. I tear fell in my eyes as I heard his vow for her and in that moment I wished I was that woman he marries.
I felt someone beside me and offered me a handkerchief. "I want to punch him right now you know?" I laughed at his remarks. "I want to shout at him and made him realize how fool he is to let you go." I looked at him to see if he's serious and surprisingly he is. "Jack, you're funny, hahaha" I'm still laughing until Pat joins. "It's not good to see a beautiful goddess crying and at the same time laughing." he said that made me pout and wiped my tears. "You look crazy" Jack said and he wiped my tears instead. My laughter suddenly faded and it automatically turn into cries. It's funny how the others are celebrating but here I am crying--- Jack hugged me and Pat shield us away from the people. We left the place. I calmed myself as they both patiently waited me to stop crying. "I'm sorry, you guys should go back there." They looked at me with those sorry eyes. "I'm okay now, you can go back and have fun." "we'll go back together fix yourself." Pat said. "Nah, I don't think I can act like it's not hurting, because its still does" I replied. "I'll stay here with you" Jack said and I immediately disagreed. "You both should go back they'll find you, and I will leave now as I should be-" "We can't leave you like that here." Pat argued. "You guys should." I said firmly. They both went silent because they know they can't argue with me. I took something on my purse and offered it to them. Jack took it and Pat still looking at me with nothing but seriousness. "When you both go back there as I leave, can you give it to him? alone?" I looked at them and smiled sadly, It's the only thing that keeps me holding on from him. "What's this?" Jack asked confusingly. I smiled at him before answering. "It's his promised vow. We wrote one for each other and honestly that was the only thing left for me aside from the memories we had and I'm giving it back to him as a sign that finally I'm letting him go, that this will eventually the end of us." You're leaving aren't you?" Pat asked. "You will end things with him but not with us right?" Jack blurted. I chuckled "ofcourse, you both are the only one that's left to me, so this is not a goodbye. Until then?" I walk towards them and hugged each one of them. "I'm gonna miss you both." I'm gonna miss them because like what Pat said I'm leaving, there was an offer in America and I think its my chance to fly away from here, to move on. I look at them for the last time and turn my back. A hand grab my arms, "You'll call right?" Jack asked and I nod. He hugged me tightly like I'm gonna vanish. "I'll miss you----" Pat walked to me and kiss my forehead like a sign of his support to my decision. "Until then"....
I walked again with tears in my eyes and trying my best not to look at them.
I closed the door of my car. I guess this is it. I sighed and started my car. I was about to drive when I saw his eyes looking at my car. Tears start pouring again. "Why are you here?" I said silently as I put my head at the stirring wheel and cried again, this time harder.
I looked up to him through my side mirror. He was about to run but I suddenly open my window and got my half body out to shout at him. "Niall! Congratulations!!!" He stopped and look at me sadly. "I need to leave now-- and I want to sa-y that---" I can't talk straight my tears keeps pouring and my voice always crack. So instead shouting I choose to say it silently. "I'll forever love you-" I cried and got back to my seat and put my seatbelt on, and for the last time I look at him looking back at me. I smiled and waved my hand outside my window. "Goodbye!" There I finally said it.
I drove my car and left the place.
The life we planned is not final, a lot of things will happen. Unexpected things will happen and we're lucky if we will be able to overcome every trials and challenges.
The life I dreamt of was with him, every wishes, prayers, he is in it. But I lost him and it hurts because as he left my heart was with him.
I just realized that we don't own people, they have their own decision. Now, as I leave the place, I'm also leaving my heart to him, it's always his.
Just like what I promised, I'll be forever loving him, my heart will, always will.
This is Doctor Galezar Joy, now signing off.
