No matter how small your words are, they can change a person’s life-
No matter how small your words are, they can change a person’s life-
In this world, we sometimes don’t think of what we say, we talk what we feel and we just realize later on that a person was hurt and offended by the words and statements we just said. In cases like joking or just playing around, we sometimes forget that we have different level of sensitivity and that some people were offended and hurt by the jokes we thought was a joke. People will feel like they were just being played and because of our words they can do things that would shut them down from the judgmental world they thought they are in. They will not be affected emotionally but also physically; they would endure all of those words that causes them to break down and overthink over and over again. Our jokes and opinions were just ours but in life there will always be the negative side of every things, we can never avoid every flaw because it will not be learning if there are no mistakes and lessons. And by situation like this, people can learn to think before talking, people would be able to learn how to weigh their words before they express their thoughts, they can observe and watch their own mouth to keep the peacefulness and good relationship with others.
But on the other hand, our words can also change a person’s life in a good way. Nowadays, people are struggling, facing difficulties whether in their school, works or generally in their lives. People are facing a lot and different kinds of challenges that is extremely hard to overcome and sometimes some people can’t continue for some were already in the verge of giving up, some are exhausted, others are lost and hopeless. And this is where the small gestures and encouraging words comes in, we are all exhausted by the challenges but if we can use our voice to encourage, to lift up each other people will have hope and start to stand up and fight again. We can use our selves to catch each other whenever we fall. Whenever we feel tired let yourself be the resting place of the other person. No matter how simple your words it can help a person see a blink of a light in their dark world that maybe in the future the darkness would be lighten and hope would cover around the corner of her/his world. Approaching those struggling people, can be their way to have hope, you can be the way for them to stand up and fight for themselves. Things would not be easy but in this simple and small works we do, we can change a person’s life. We can give them hope and let them know that they are not alone in their journey, that they are not the only one who are struggling and facing those hardship, that they are not alone feeling the exhaustion, tiredness and burn out. Giving up is a choice but that is not the best option. We were born to learn and not give up, we face those trials because there are things we need to learn and discover and a person should undergo heartbreaks, tiredness, hardship so that we can be useful not just for the others but also for ourselves. God will allow you and me to go through brokenness, failures, mistakes so that He can even use us, even more.
`
`
`
`
-Zai
"Some-Time"
"Some-Time"
by:Zai
The sky is crying
releasing the burden and pain
that the clouds are bearing
letting go without thinking of anything to gain
The next day is her time
to rest from shredding tears
leaving everything behind
and start a new life
Resting is just a moment of realization
wherein you can take time to fight again
giving yourself a break from frustration
and letting the silence reign.
-Zai~
“He fell out of love because he fell inlove with someone else.”
I thought it was forever but he fell out of love-
Ry and I has been together for 5 years, he’s a doctor and I am an owner of a restaurant. We both fell inlove with each other when we were in our last year in college. Although it wasn’t easy but we ended up being together. Things are okay, we manage to have time together when we both are not busy but sometimes, we just call each other if we can’t meet up and have our date. It was okay for me and for him, we both manage to stay inlove and happy with our relationship.
Ry is such a caring man, hes so supportive and he always makes effort just to make me feel love and happy. He is also a good cook and some of my food in the restaurant were inspired from him. He guides me in cooking, teach me his unique techniques that made me think if he’s the one who took culinary school and not me. But kidding aside, we were perfect and we always compromised if we got into a fight. And I can say that we have a mature relationship with each other. And I remember one time. I thought he forgot our monthsarry and I was getting upset but at the same time trying to understand his situation. Not until he did something that melted my negative emotions away.
*A month ago*
*“Ari, Love?” I can hear noises from the background. I think there are a lot of patients today. “Yes, Love?” I reply. “Hi” He said and I find it cute whenever he calls and still say hi with me. It brings back memories before we are together where we are still shy to talk to each other. It feels nostalgic. “Hi, too. Is everything okay there?” I asked him. “Uhhh, love I won’t be able to call you later or tomorrow ‘cause an accident happened a street away from the hospital and a lot of people needs surgery and care. But don’t worry I’ll try to update you.” He stated his concern. “I understand Ry, but you’ll be free tomorrow evening, right?” I hopely asked. “Huh? I’ll see love, but why tho?” He asked. “Uhhh- It’s our month-“ I didn’t finish my sentence when I heard someone call him. “Doctor Savandal, we need you in the OR now!” “Love, still there? I need to go now. I’ll talk to you later, hmm?” He spoke. “Yes, love no worries bye.” I ended the call but still upset because he forgot that it is our monthsarry tomorrow and he don’t have obviously a clue.*
*I woke up late now because I don’t have proper sleep. I check my phone but still no update from him. Is he that busy to not even greet me?*
*I shrugged every worry I have and just go to work and still prepare for our supposed to be date later at night.*
*>Forward*
*I am now in the elevator going to my condo and still has no news from him. I’m hurting right now but I’m still trying to understand his situation and that there are people that need him.*
*As I open the door and turn the lights on a guitar strum started to cover the whole room. I see some petals on the floor and I followed it until it led me to him.*
*“I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad*
*Carry you around when your arthritis is bad*
*Oh all I wanna do is grow old with you*
And there I saw my man standing with a guitar in his hands playing and singing my favorite song. I don’t know what should I do, I’m overwhelmed with what is happening now. My eyes is getting blurry with unshed tears.
*I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches*
*Build you a fire if the furnace breaks*
*Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you*
*I’ll miss you*
*Kiss you*
*Give you my coat when you are cold*
*Need you*
*Feed you*
*Even let ya hold the remote control*
I’m now crying as he continues singing, I just feel so loved by him. I’m now at his front still crying and watching his face.
*So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink*
*Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink*
*I could be the man who grows old with you*
*I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad*
*Carry you around when your arthritis is bad*
*Oh all I wanna do is grow old with you*
*I’ll miss you*
*Kiss you*
*Give you my coat when you are cold*
*Need you*
*Feed you*
*Even let ya hold the remote control*
*So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink*
*Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink*
*I could be the man who grows old with you*
*I wanna grow old with you”*
As soon as he finished his song, I immediately hug him and cried on his shoulder. He’s still on hid work outfit and so am I.
*“I-I I t-thought y-ou for-rgot?” I shakingly said.*
*He hummed and hug me tightly and said “How can I forget the day you became mine, Ari?” “It’s one of my biggest achievements.” He continued.*
*He broke our hug and wipe my tears away. “I’ve prepared your favorite food, so shall we eat?” He smiled. “I thought you’re so busy?” I asked as we both sit down at the table, he prepared close to my glass where we can see the beauty of the city lights. “Yes, I was love, I did a lot of operations and luckily another doctor replace me because I still haven’t eaten since yesterday. And I have plan to surprise you today and I still did.” He explained. “And not texting me is one of those?” I said and raised my eyebrows. “Kind of? Hahahah” He replied.*
*I pouted and crossed my arms. “hmp”*
*“I’m sorry” still laughing. “I love you” He said as he reaches his spoon with food to my mouth. And me being me accepted it and started eating after that.*
*We continued eating and after everything we go to bed of and sleep tired from our work but still found rest in each other’s’ arms.*
*I am very excited to see him because it’s been weeks since we contacted each other. We were both busy with work, I with my restaurant and him with his job which is being a doctor. I am excited to celebrate our anniversary with the food I cooked.*
>present
He surprised me last month and I’ve decided why not do it for our anniversary. I’m nervous because what if he will not like him but still, I’ll do it.
These days he become busier and I always text him but he only replies once and I understand that, because I also got busy with my business.
I plan to bake a cake with my friend and cook some food and then visit him at the hospital and eat at their rooftop because the view is perfect there, especially sunset time. And we both loves stay there whenever I visit him.
**An hour before 5pm:**
Someone messaged me.
I almost drop my phone because of the picture I saw.
Troy:
Are you and Ry, okay? Because he has been talking to this girl since the start of the month.
Me:
Yes, we’re okay.
I still manage to compose a message even though there are a lot of things going on in my mind. I’m convincing myself that they’re just talking normally.
Troy:
I think you two need to talk, Ariyah.
Me:
I’m planning to visit there later but don’t tell him. I’m surprising him.
I replied and trying to get back to my mood a while ago.
Troy:
I don’t know, Ariyah. Maybe you’ll be the one who will be surprised.
I didn’t reply back because I’m getting anxious. My mind is overthinking again. But still I started getting ready to go there.
As soon as I leave the building and got in the car. I saw the sky is getting darker. Maybe it’s going to rain. The weather is reflected my feelings right now. It somehow joins me.
I started the car and head to the hospital. I feel uneasy and no matter how hard I try to hide it. I’m hurting deep down.
Holding the lunchbox and the cake I prepared.
I entered the building with a smile plastered on my faced.
“Hi Miss Ariyah!” someone greeted me. It’s Anna one of the nurses here. “Hi there” I replied. “Do you know where Ry is?” I asked her. But instead of answering me. She smiled sadly and hug me. “Why? What’s wrong?” I asked even tho I know what’s going on. I’m just still hoping that maybe there’s a misunderstanding.
“I’ll bring you to him, Miss Ariyah.” She walked silently and I followed her.
We stop at the canteen and there I saw my man with the girl in the picture Troy sent me. I thought he was busy because he couldn’t even call me. I walked towards them and I notice some people watch me because some of them know me. They both were busy laughing with some doctors.
“Ry…..” He looked at me and his smile faded. “Ari…” Even though his reaction hurt me. I still managed to smile. “Tadaa!!! Happy Anniversarry! I bake you a cake and cook your favorite food.” The group went silent but I’m still looking to the man I love finding something in his eyes. “I know you ate already but it wouldn’t hurt your tummy eating a little more, right?” He stands up and face me. He’s still silent while he grab everything that is in my hand, still the gentleman Ry, so I turned to the people he’s with. “Hi, I’m sorry if I disturb you guys but can I borrow Ry for a while?” I smiled.
“Huh?!” “Yes, ofcourse” “We’re also done here.” I can sense they are not comfortable. I smiled to all of them again and turned to the girl that has a petite body, a long hair, a black eye. So, she is the girl. She’s not looking at me so she didn’t notice me checking her out.
“Then, will you excuse us?” I said and turn to Ry. “rooftop” I simply said. And left them. I turn to the people who’s looking at the scene and smiled to them and they smiled back. I look at Anna whos eyes is very concerned now. I mouthed “I’m okay” to her and left the cafeteria.
I waited for the elevator to open and didn’t bother to look at the person besides me. A while ago I was not angry but now I am. How could he not say something or explain? How could he just stay silent when I caught him cheating.
We were silent inside the elevator. I was just looking at the numbers going up and I can sense that he’s looking at me.
As soon as we got to the rooftop. I immediately sat to the spot we used to sit.
I turned to him and I caught him looking at me and was about to say something when I cut him off. “Let just eat first and celebrate our anniversary before you say what you wanted to say.”
He silently nodded and started arranging our food. I’m starting to get emotional as I watched him, maybe the next day I won’t be able to see him doing this, maybe after this this man won’t be with me anymore, maybe…..
He looks at me and smile sadly. I smiled back at him. One last time I see his smile. This will be the last. I laughed and greeted him. “Happy Anniversary love!!!” I genuinely said. “Let’s eat.”
I’m talking a lot while he was just silently listening. And I did tell him everything that happened to me today because this maybe the last time he’ll hear my stories. I watch the sky as it’s getting darker and darker. “What do you think about the clouds right?’ I randomly asked as he was busy cleaning our place. “I was expecting to watch sunset with you today but I guess the weather doesn’t want us to.” I chuckled. But still, he’s silent.
I chuckled again, I turned to him and asked him “When will you talk to me? We haven’t seen each other for a week and you’re giving me a silent treatment, love?” I said but still chuckling.
He look down “Ariyah…..”
“Hmmmm, Kylo Ry Savandal?
“I’m sorry.”
Here it is now, the ending Ariyah, the ending. This is it, the pain.
He looks at me and we’re both standing facing each other. Huh, the situation we are now is the same position we are 6 years ago but with the different location. Where he asked for my answer but now his ending everything between us.
I bravely watch his eyes as he said those words- ''I don't love you anymore, I-I fell out of love. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, Ari'' the lights didn't flicker, the rain didn't pour even tho the sky was so dark, my eyes didn't even blink, and my tears wasn't even there-- but I- I fell *apart.*
“When did you start having feeling for her?” I asked still not breaking the eye contact.
“I-I I’m sorry.” He said again. “What do you think your sorry will do?” “You should’ve have told me if I am not enough anymore. You should’ve not cheated because that’s what hurt the most, Ry. Cheating is not the solution for you, if you don’t love me anymore, you should’ve told me and end things between us.” I quickly turn away from him ‘cause I can feel my eyes starting to get watery.
“Ari..” He holds my arms but a I quickly shake it off. I composed my self and turn to him one more time before I’ll left.
But I can't help myself and hug him for one last time.... He was taken aback but still he hugged me back.
“You can go to h-her n-now…… but don’t do to her the thing you did to me, don’t c-cheat because it hurts…. Big time love….” I said as I left him with nothing on my hands.
--
I ran to Troy before I exit the building and He look at me apologetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t do anything.”
“It’s not your fault, it’s his choice.” I answered but before I could go Anna came to me.
“Miss Ariyah”
“I’ll be fine, but I guess I can’t visit you anymore here but I’ll make sure I’ll treat you at my restaurant in the future Anna.” I smiled at her because she’s about to cry.
“Why are you still nice? To them?” Then she’s really crying. “I’m gonna m-miss y-your food Miss Ariyah……….”I laughed at her statement. She’s crying as she hugs me and I hug her back trying not to cry.
“I’ll go now, take care.” I left and waved at them.
I guess it’s just me now……
A year later~
I decided to go out with Anna today because she told me she wants to treat me with her money for me to rest treating her. It’s funny how I lost my relationship but build another beautiful friendship with her. But she still calls me Miss but Riyah is the name.
The whole year after Ry and I broke up. I spend my time with my business and travel to different places. I tried exploring on my hobbies but still sometimes I end up thinking about him. About the thing we plan just like traveling, I did travel to the places we dream of going but sadly not with him.
We spend time together eating and just chilling at the park when we decided to take a walk.
But we didn’t expect what we will saw. I saw both of them. The person who used to be my partner, the person who used to love me, the person who made me feel love by my significant other is now the happiness of another person.
Anna and I stop and I can feel her stares at me but----
As I watch them happily talking while walking….
then it hit me…..
***“He fell out of love because he fell inlove with someone else.” -Ariyah***
**THE END**
-Zai
"Serenity"
SERENITY
The sky is blue
so as the sea
the wind blows my hair
causes it to swing
so as the dress I'm wearing
The silence overflowing
making me see the beauty it posses
letting me appreciate the quietness
and giving me chance to think
how good it is to be alone
Feeling the calmness of the sea
this is where I want to be
to hear the music and melody
this is Serenty.
-Zai🍀
"Hiraeth"
HIRAETH
there's one place inside me
longing for something peaceful
a place where I can be free
and a life that is truthful
I always felt so small
and choose to be a loner
I want someone to call
while waiting in my room corner
I want to go to this certain place
yet it is nowhere to be found
I remember the face
but I can never see it around
I'm feeling this for a week now
yet no cure can make it vanish
and that is hireath
a homesickness for a home that never existed.
-Zai🍀
"Man to Nature"
"Man to Nature"
the world was build with nature
it was peaceful and was nurtured
it was bright and beautiful
making the earth look colorful
when the man came
everything started to change
from fun to lame
and things started to feel strange
the places that was once filled with trees
is now furnished with buildings and houses
making the earth loses its resources
that makes the people develop deseases
the changes that man brought to the nature
made the place broken for the future
if the man knows how to protect and preserved
the world would still be nurtured
-Zai🍀
"A friend of mine"
"A friend of mine"
Our dreams has been made
with him it won't fade
His string and mine braid
nothing can cut even a blade
Trust for him is given
Lies are forgiven
whatever I say are believin'
I know my heart, to him, is driven
never been scared
always been cared
problems are shared
loving him I always dared
this feeling is prohibited
no feeling has been commited
for him I am a friend
for me, he is my beloved.
-Zai🍀
"You and I"
You and I
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep,
don't be afraid to lean
And remember me tonight when you're asleep
We spend our days locked in a room inside a bubble
talking about our future together
In the night time we go out, scouring the streets for trouble
and I thought it would last forever
but the pain just doubled
I could've made you mine
But no, it wasn't meant to be
and it wasnt the right time
besides you weren't made for me
Though it seemed so easy
our love story stopped
and gave us a chance
to recall the memories that has been dropped
where I used to feel the feeling of romance
yet it ends, You and I.
-Zai🍀
"falling in love"
falling in love-
I was starring at the sky
with the sun hurting my eyes
you came carrying a coffee with ice
but not knowing you're a guy
the silence was overflowing
you offered me your drink
but you didn't even let me think
you just started walking
I watch you as you left me
but my feet brought me to where you are
I saw you smiling and you look so free
and I watch you strum that guitar from afar
whenever you sing
my heart starts beating
and I can't stop starring
at your eyes that bling
how could you look so innocent
when you're the culprit who made my heart beat abnormally
you met my eyes in accident
yet you just smiled friendly
I was admiring your voice
and stop to ask myself what am I doing?
He was just a stranger
but he's making my heat make some noise.
-Zai🍀
believing the lie-
"believing the lie"
every time she walk out of her room
she always feel alone
have no choice but to walk without a groom
that's one thing she used to do until she's grown
other people saw her smiling
and think she's doing well
but when darkness starts showing
she enters her own hell
she always try her best
to believe she's okay
making sure people won't know she's depressed
and that she wants to run aways
she hugs her pillow so close
imagining it at someone who can silence her fears
but problems arose
and she ended up shredding those silent tears.
-Zai🍀
A fighter She is-
A girl was born
the day before today
she bloomed and is adorn
for she throw her sorrows away
Embracing what she have
making her feel lighter
and more loved
for she is a fighter
She make mistakes
and has a lot of worries
but she's still standing here standing,
fighting for her happy ending.
-Zai (Richel R.)
She turned 18--- The new chapter of her life~
The new chapter of her life-
February 27 the day she was born and feb.27,2021 a girl named Richel turned 18, she was just a little girl who is full of dreams and now she’s grown up to a fine young lady. She used to play games with her childhood friends and cousins but now she’s focused on her school to have a better future. She used to be a girl who’s happy go lucky but now she was enlighten on how difficult her journey is, she used to be so gullible but now her perspective changed. She used to cry on her mother shoulder and share all of her burdens but now she cries on her own for she realized that her burdens are hers and not all the time her mother will be there for her. She used to think that life is always beautiful but now she doesn’t think that it will always be. She used to love herself for how and who she is but now there are doubts. She used to feel happy whenever she saw her crushes but now, she doesn’t even have one. She used to be naïve but she learned. She used to feel excited meeting people and being friends with them but now she doesn’t want to get involved with others. She used to think that people are good to you but it’s the opposite. And she used to be so imaginative but reality hit her hard.
As she turned 18, she realized a lot of things and she is very sure that her journey before will be different from what she had experienced. She will now face her new chapter of life of being an 18-year-old girl. But before she got to that stage, she already experienced how cruel the world is. She faced challenges and trial, she cried and felt like giving up, there were times she feels exhausted and tired of everything but she overcome all of it with God by her side. She experienced how the world turn its back on hers but with God she was able to get where she is now. She learned and realized that it’s okay to not have what you wanted but as long as God is with you and you are bound with Him nothing will go wrong in your way. She never new it in the first place but as you go along with your journey, you’ll surely realized a lot of things.
She is now a graduating student and she will now face her journey in college life and she’s not just sitting back and waiting things to happen but she’s preparing for it. She’s making herself as strong as she can, she’s doing her best to be the best version of herself so that as she enters the new challenges, she will be able to fight and overcome all of those things.
To face difficulties is part of life, we can’t escape from it. No matter how beautiful your life is now there will be times that things will get hard and things will get rough but what we can do is to face it bravely as you can. We can never have a perfect life, we can never learn if we don’t experienced and realized things. The things that make us cry will help us to have a better perspective in life, difficult things mold us to the best version of ourselves, we may not know this in the start but God let you experienced things that He knows that would make you a strong person and the things He let you go through are the battles that He knows you can fight and win. Even if you feel like no one is in your side, always remember that He will stay no matter what and know that He’s preparing you something that is joyful from what sadness your going through.
-Z
His Oracle
STORY (fiction)
“His Oracle”
In a world full of lies and secrets. There’s one young lady who knows that the government is hiding something big from them. The officials maybe think that some people don’t really care about the sudden disappearance of the families who volunteer in hunting the danger beyond those walls but they didn’t know that among those people who watch and observe them. A lady who’s named Aliyah is silently developing an interest on what they are doing. All she knows is that every end of the month there should be one person from each family who will volunteer to go out beyond the walls they are in. She wants to do the work but her family is exempted to the said responsibility for his father is part of them.
They are being celled in a big and tall cement surrounding the whole Rosian, which separates them from the world. She was already born having the walls as her protection from whatever the outside world has for them. And all she knew is it’s dangerous outside.
“Almira!!”
Someone called her and she knew it is her father. “Dad” she said and bowed her head for she doesn’t want to see his face because he is one of them. “Go out and make those people shut their mouth” Her father told her that made her turn around to see the poor people from the window who are shouting their pain. They’re hungry but her father wouldn’t let them eat the food they work hard for. She sighed and walk out the room to go to them.
“Senior Domitilio!! We are not an animal for you to treat us like this, we deserve to have what we work for, just a little bit of it. You don’t have any conscience!” The old man shouted.
As she walked out of the house, the people went silent. She knows they’re scared of her, all of the people in Rosian are scared to see her red eyes for she was the only one who has it. It is not normal for a Rosians to have a red eye because all of them only have one eye color, it’s blue the color of ocean.
She is a puppet of the government especially her father. She didn’t want to scare people but she doesn’t have a choice, she needs to be close to them as much as possible. She needs to gather information on what’s beyond the walls and use it to bring them down.
“As expected from the red eye girl.” Another devil appeared into her eyes. She just looked at him and turn her back. The son of the President is in their house and she knows her father and this guy will have something to talk about, and now is her chance.
She walked fast and go to her room because she doesn’t want to have any connection with and besides, she needs to prepare something.
As she finished gathering the things she needs, she immediately heard the ride of her father and Caston, the president’s son. She run quietly run at the back door of her house and run to the woods with a coat in his body for the people to not recognize her. She immediately rides the horse she prepared and follow his father’s lead. She knew that her father and Caston will go out the walls and do something in the outside, that’s why she prepared everything beforehand.
As they reach the tunnel to go outside, she quietly observes them from afar. She saw Caston handling a needle to her father and then they both inject it to themselves. Almira saw that already before in their house but she doesn’t know what it is for.
As soon as the gate opened, her father and Caston goes out with nothing but themselves. She’s confused on what’s happening because she knew that it’s dangerous outside unless it’s not. She’s aware of the strange things that is happening inside the Rosian and outside, she’s aware that something is different from the people to the officials. And ofcourse she knew there’s something different in herself, she can feel it sometimes. She can see clear from afar and she’s doing it now. She can also carry heavy things which is not normal from a girl like her. All of it is strange to her and she feel like the answer is outside the wall.
She walked towards the gate and the guards immediately pointed a gun at her. She removed her hood and look at them in the eye. She can feel their fears but she continues hypnotizing them. It’s one thing she and her father knew that she has a power to manipulate minds of the people and that’s why her father uses her to make the people shut their mouth but sadly she can’t use it to him because he is her family. This certain power will only work to the people who’s not blood related to her.
She passed the gate easily and she was welcomed by guns, knives and many dangerous things a human could use. She walked pass quietly and reach the end of it. She saw people, officials, the volunteers, his father, and Caston. They’re getting ready for the battle. She hides behind the trees before people saw her. She saw her father and this another official talking seriously and she quietly goes there and listen to their conversation.
“When will you let your daughter join us? You know she’s a big help!”
“She’s out of this, General.” Domitilio said.
“She is not, they’re both part of it. You know that, you should’ve not fall for that women if you don’t want your daughter to be part of this.”
Domitilio glared at the General and “General, Senior everyone is ready” someone interrupted them.
They both follow the person and get back to work.
While they both pass the tree where Almira is hiding. Someone is already watching them.
Almira has been silent and just waiting for the people to disappear. She feels like she’s close to the answer. And the revelation she heard from the General is somehow the clue of her existence. She now realized why his father always forbid her to go out whenever there are officials going to her house. And now she calculated everything in her mind on why does she doesn’t have a mother growing up. Maybe, her mother was not a Rosian.
She begins her journey outside the wall. While she’s walking towards the battle field, she feels like someone is watching her but she just shrugged it off.
She walked further and slowly she can hear the shouts, guns, and the sword clashing to each other. She quickly climbs the tree close to her and saw how blood scattered everywhere. She got teary eyed as she watches the people got bitten in the neck and saw how the body parts of the Rosian got teared apart by the creature she couldn’t recognize. She saw a lot of them and things couldn’t process properly. She realized this is what it looks like outside the wall and that scared her. She saw his father and the others from afar they’re preparing the cannon. She’s still watching the creatures getting killed and killing people. She saw something similar to her. The creatures have red eyes similar to hers, they have sharp teeth with blood around it, they also have long nails, they run so fast and they can bend the shot guns which means they are strong than a usual human. She concluded they’re vampires. She heard the word before and she’s scared that maybe she’s one of them. She thought they’re very scary with those appearance.
As she watches the battle, she saw a little boy that is crying and looking scared, and there she felt again the anger towards the government for letting kids like him go, wherein fact the rule is volunteering but they’re forcing every family to provide one person just to die like this. She somehow recognizes the face of the boy and she remember he’s the one who helped her to get the horse she uses to arrive here. She immediately run to the field and someone blocked her way. She stopped and look at him. She saw the features of his teeth and knows he’s a vampire. She immediately got her small knife out of her side. But before she can do the attack first, she can feel the intensity of her power, she feel like it’s evolving and she somehow wants to get closer to the vampire for she smells something in him that can make her insane but she fight it. The vampire recognizes the knife she has and got excited to see her eyes. The vampire knew about the Rosian lady who has the red eye, He knew about her for she was the daughter of their seer, the seer who owns the sacred knife. The seer who falls inlove with a Rosian and give birth to a baby which the Rosian father never allow the kind of her beloved to witness his daughter for he thought they will use his daughter to bring whole Rosian down. The vampire finally found his mate.
Almira didn’t give a chance for the vampire to attack her because she immediately uses her strength to knock him off the ground. She didn’t mind about what she felt towards him. She run fast towards the little boy and hug him. The boy continues to cry as she carried him. But before she can run away, another vampire blocks her way. She put down the boy and put him behind her, she removed her hood and face the vampire. The vampire is a girl and Almira pointed the knife towards her and tried to manipulate her and she succeeded for a while for the vampire girl got back to her senses and attack her, she knew she don’t have a strength to fight her. She just hugs the boy and close her eyes.
“Almira!” someone called her.
“What! How? What are you doing here?! How did you get here?” Her father asked her after he shoved away the vampire.
She got up with the boy in her arms and looked at the eyes of his father and say “How could you bring a little boy here!” She shouted with an anger. She can’t control herself now and her strength of a vampire is slowly coming out, she forgot that she’s carrying a boy and only realizes when his father got close to her and get the boy out of her arms.
“Let’s get out of here, Almira.” She looked at him and knows that her father knew what’s happening to her. Domitilio can see the changes of Almira and he’s scared that in the field full of her kind, he might lose her as well. He can’t take it anymore if he’s only daughter will leave him just like her mother. He’s scared that if Almira find out who she really is, she might go with him and the battle will end. He doesn’t care if he will sacrifice the lives of the people just to protect her daughter, he will. He dragged her daughter out of the field and put both of them in the safe place.
Almira goes to the little boy and said sorry to him for what happened and now she’s calming him as she processes everything that happened.
“Domitilio what’s the problem out there?!” General ask her father.
“What?! Are you doing here, Red eye girl? Huh, your daughter got the guts to follow us Mr. Domitilio” Caston said.
“I’ll immediately send her back.” Domitilio said.
“And you little boy, who said you can rest here.?!” The General said.
Almira got angry again and stood up facing the General with her head held high.
“How could you send a boy to that field?”
“Why do you have any people to send instead of him? Or perhaps you will go out there and kill those creatures?”
“I will send her home, General” Her father interrupted.
“Why Domitilio? Scared?” “You know how to end this battle.” The general said and looked at Almira. And now Almira got an idea on what’s the real reason why is this happening.
“I’ll go out instead of the boy, only if you’ll send him home to his family.” She said with finality as she looked at her father. “Almira!” She can see the disappointment and the fear in the eyes of her father.
But before they can go out, the whole place got attack and they immediately look on what’s the problem. Caston, The General, Domitilio and Almira saw how their room got wrecked. A vampire that is familiar for Almira appeared.
“It’s the end of your hiding Domitilio. You know I can easily get her from you but I gave you time to lend her to us, but you didn’t.”
“Let’s go, Almira.” Her father grabbed her hand with the face looking scared. But she didn’t flinch from where she is standing and faced the vampire bravely. “What are you talking about?” She asked him.
“Hmmm, Almira is the name.”
“When will you stop killing the people?”
“When you will come to us.”
She knew the vampire is not joking, she sees it already from what the General said and the scared face of her father. She knew she is the solution to all of it. But why? Is the question.
“Why?” she walked slowly towards him even though she feels scared. “Because you’re our seer.”
“Stop talking nonsense!” Her father attacked him and they both are fighting in front of her. The general and Caston immediately fight when suddenly a bunch of vampires come in and fight of them. Almira knew they will just die. “STOP!!!!!!” The vampires stop before they can stab the heart of the three people. The vampire leader look at her and smirked. “Please leave them alone, all of them.” She spoke. “I’ll go with you in exchange for their peacefulness” she said as she look at him right straight to his dark red eyes.
“No, Almira!” Her father begs.
“Almira, it’s not their peacefulness that was attacked. It’s ours. Your father came to us and uses your mother to destroy us. Simply because Rosians are jealous of the power we have.”
As finality she goes closer to her father who’s now kneeling in front of the vampire and hug him. “Please do good things after this, Dad?hmm?” She whispered and his father just nooded and hug each other tightly.
They stood up and she smiled at him.
The vampires get her and go out from the room, as she leaves the place, she can hear the crying father and she realized that her father love her truly and she’s now contented with that.
As the whole vampire leave the field and enter the woods, Almira knew it’s the end. She can hear murmur around her and the eyes of the vampire she’s with. But besides all of that, she wants to know the name of the vampire that looks like their leader.
A girl that’s like her age comes up to her and said things to enlighten her. She discovered that her mother was a seer and that her father and mother fall inlove with each other but the Rosians uses her mother to destroy their kind because of jealousy of their power. She also know that everything is safe for the Rosian for the vampires are good at keeping words and they will die if they will contract their words. And for her they already have agreed to terms. The girl also stated that her mother died protecting her, she is not a fully vampire for she was cursed by her mother to not be and it is for the officials to not use her for evil purposes. She gathered that she is not just a daughter of a seer but the Oracle and the mate of their master. Their master is named as Hunter for when he is born, he immediately hunts down every place just to find his mate and that’s why he was named as Hunter.
After the talk they have, she was put into a hall filled with vampires. “Today, as we gather here, we now have a Queen!” The room filled with noises. Almira can see what’s happening, they’re crowning her as their queen for she is the mate of their King. She look at them and surprisingly went to silent after the king named Hunter walked towards her. She was surprised for she again felt the feeling she has a while ago, the hunger for his scent. Her eyes turns darker as they both stare at each other. They got closer and closer. Things happened quickly when Hunter can’t stop himself anymore from biting Almira’s neck and sip her precious blood. Almira got shocked but let him do his work. She somehow feel the tiredness and Hunter felt it so he let Almira bite his neck to also complete the ritual. Almira felt the completeness as she was able to taste the blood of her mate. Almira now feels like she’s part of them for she was different from the Rosians but she is now like the vampires. She feel like she’s now home after how many years of finding the home her heart is looking for, she now belong here. As she was sipping the blood with hunger from Hunter’s neck, Hunter smiled and whispered at her. “MY ORACLE”
The peace between Rosians and the vampires was restored. The Rosians continue to live peacefully without going out from the wall and the vampires continue to celebrate the restoration of the balance of their world for they were able to obtain the Oracle of the King.
And that is the end of the story.
**-Z**
We can never be free from judgments-
We can never be free from judgments-
We are born in this world and while we discover and travel the world, we were informed about the people and how they can change a person. As we met strangers and even though they become people we know, they will have an opinion about us. Every people will have a say of everything we do and that’s the sad thing living in this world. We can’t have a peaceful life because we will be bothered with the opinions of the other people. We keep on getting judgments, comments about our lives wherein fact they don’t have the rights to. But even though our friends, families will tell us to just ignore them, although we tried, we always try our best but we really can’t ignore their opinions, especially when we or you can point out your own flaws and you- yourself doesn’t appreciate who you are that’s when you will start thinking and obtaining all of the people’s judgments. And because you will always think that you are what people think you are, you tend to bend and fit on what they say about you and that’s when you’ll start to lose yourself.
Some people believe that ignoring and focusing in yourself can make your life better. I agree, because even though it is hard to do that, I know that we- you can get through it. We go through phases like discovering ourselves, building and molding ourselves for the better, and this one on focusing in our own and not minding what other people say. It is not an immediate outcome, it comes with process and throughout that process we can encounter and experience a lot of things, that will taught us lessons that we can make as our greatest weapon to fight the next journey we will take.
However, the truth is we can never be free from judgments, opinions are everywhere but doing and trying our best to eliminate those words and to try our best to focus in ourselves and just think that those people who judge you will have their places in the future. Let God do the work on teaching them a lesson and just mind and focus in your own business. And one thing is to make their judgments as your inspiration to work hard and prove to them that you are more than what they think you are. Work hard and let them see how different you are to what they say about you. And prove to them that those words don’t affect you and that they are just wasting their time judging you. Let them see the magnificent you and make them feel sorry for doing and saying foul words about you. Focus on building yourself and make the best version of yourself and show them what they have been messing.
The fact that living in this world means living with the judgments of the people and that we can never be free from those judgment makes your journey more challenging. But even though reality is like that, we can live in the moment and enjoy while it last because even though we got discourage about the opinions of the others at least we’ve experience beautiful things and enjoyed the moment which those judgmental people didn’t get to experienced because of focusing on how to drag you down. And look where it gets them. It will just lead them to their own karma and that is not what we want.
Just let those people judge you, don’t ever do things that pleases them because you are not born to make them like you, you are born to love yourself and bring out the best version of it. Don’t explain yourself to them and let them continue thinking that you are what they think you are because in the end it’s not your problem, it’s theirs.
Once again, let the God punish them from what they are doing because if God will be the one working and doing it for you, I can guarantee you that He will take care of everything and make you feel at ease and loved.
-Zai
The better version of me-
The better version of me
Before the pandemic begun, I was nothing but a paper plane that has no direction. A paper plane whose journey has been decided, wherein the chances of falling is evident so as the chances of tearing apart and just turning into dust. I was a just a girl with no plans in my mind. A girl who accepts everything even though it is hurting her, the forced attention from her friends, the judgment of the people around her, the pain of the school gives her, the struggles she encountered without someone to lean, she overcome every step of it, alone.
Moving on, when the pandemic happened, people were told to stay inside and not interact with others to prevent the virus from spreading. This was the chance given to me, where I can spend time with myself and fix the broken me. At first it wasn’t easy, because I was able to have a quiet life, for I wasn’t able to receive judgments and any foul messages from the people I know. I wasn’t used to have a peaceful and when the time of lockdown I was able to regained myself. I was able to know my worth as a person and was able to know better than I used to.
People used to call me fat, they sometimes call me a ‘miss perfect’ because I am working hard to make my grades high and I always felt like I shouldn’t be because they don’t like that. They made me think that everything I did was not right that’s why I stop doing it so I ended up being friends with them, but I also don’t feel like I belong to their group. They used to make fun of me, because of my mistakes that made me feel like I don’t have the right to correct it in the future, they made me feel and think that I don’t have the right to change, wherein fact some people change for the better but I’ve realized that there will be people who always do things that breaks you.
During the middle month of being in a lockdown I was slowly redeeming myself from being a loser to a winner. I was starting to do things on my own and things that makes me happy. I started improving and shaping myself, in physical aspect as well as my emotional state have improved. I got more closer to God and made Him the center of my journey in life, I was able to see my purpose and was able to accept all my flaws and mistakes which made me happier. It was struggling but to see that I’ve come this far, I would not hesitate to do and experience it all over again if in the end I will gain the happiest gift I could ever receive. It wasn’t easy but looking back at it now, it was a journey that I- myself didn’t know I would overcome and be someone magnificent. Without that painful past I wouldn’t be able to see the best version of myself, I wouldn’t be able to witness how strong I am and how God made me stronger than before. He really brought out the best of me. And in my next journey I am safe to say that I will still be able to make it until the end with God holding my hand and had no chance on letting it go. Which I can say, I am safe to be with Him.
Z
Being single is not a bad thing in fact this is your chance to make the best version of yourself-
Being single is not a bad thing in fact this is your chance to make the best version of yourself-
A lot of people nowadays are so engaged into relationships and sometimes they complain on not having one. Adults, especially the teenagers are extremely focused on having boyfriend or girlfriend. They think of it as an essential thing that a person should have and experienced. They tend to put so much effort on investing time in it wherein fact there are more important things to focus on. They tend to forget that there’s so much more to life than being stuck on fantasizing love.
Some people complain about being single, and compare themselves to people or children who already have partners in their life. But not knowing that being single is the BEST thing you could ever have. It is the BEST phase a person may experience. It is an opportunity that gives you freedom on making yourself better, a freedom to decide for yourself, a freedom to explore and know more about yourself and make memories with yourself. It gives you the time to become someone you want to be. It is the way that mold you into the best version of yourself.
In this stage of being single in life, you’ll encounter a lot of changes with yourself. You might notice yourself growing to become more mature and have wide understanding in life. You might see the things you didn’t saw before and that things made you understand the true essence of having yourself. It may not be easy to go through phases like failing, feeling lonely, and feeling unworthy but at the end you’ll always understand and realize things that happened to you. Maybe it is tiring on waiting when will yours arrived but one thing is for sure, it will be worth it. And that will make you as a strong person with perseverance and determination.
Being single is not a bad thing, really…. I’ve come to realize that God still not give you the one because He is preparing him to you and He is molding you and making you the very best. He is still taking His time and behind the curtains He is preparing something big that you, yourself didn’t expect to have. That’s why even though it is hard to wait, just wait for the reason that in the end, everything will be worth the wait. Because if God was the one who made the move, I’m telling you it is unexpectable and He will make it the very best. And more beautiful than you expected.
we didn't last- and that broke my heart.
As Eleena walk beside the stalls where different foods can be seen she remember memories with him, beautiful memories as she described them. She smiled.
*“Elly? These are different foods and if you want choose from them, we can taste everything if you like? He said to me and I can’t help but to smile and giggled at him, he’s so cute while explaining to me. His gesture really melts my heart. I was having a bad day because my parents were arguing again and I don’t really like what’s happening with my family. They always argue with just simple things and it just doesn’t make sense. And then he called me and took me here. My comfort place, everywhere that has food is my comfort place. “Love?” He called me and I look at him and smiled again “Yeah, let’s do that.”*
*As finished tasting almost every food here. And before we get full by just tasting, I already decided to stop and choose what I want. Dried mangoes and bananas, fried chickens and some dessert which are ice cream my favorite and his is leche plan catches our interest and passed our taste hahaha-*
*After that we decided to go to the back of the stalls where the open wide ground is located, this is very popular to the people who lived here. We saw a lot of group of friends, lovers, and families they were eating and enjoying the day.*
*“It’s already 4pm hahaha we took an hour to decide what to eat Elly.” We both laughed together and sat on the ground. “We’ll stay here until the sunset is done and I’ll bring you home after, is that okay?” He asked me considerately. I nodded and watch him as he arranges our things. I smiled and thought of how lucky I am to have him.*
*While we were eating, he always makes jokes that makes me laugh and smile that’s why I can say that I’m at my happiest when I’m with and I couldn’t ask for more. So thankful to God that he happened and find his way to my life.*
*As soon as the sun is setting, he suddenly hugged me in the back and whispered “I hope I made yu happy today.” I smiled as I heard his words “You always do, my love” I replied. He hugged me even tighter and said “I’ll forever be with you until the end, always remember that.” As he kissed my hair and sniff it. I smiled again and turn into him and hold his cheeks as I say “I’ll forever love you.” With finality and determination in my voice.*
A tear fell from my eyes as I watch the sunset setting, the sun that witness our promises and love, in the exact spot we used to be in, in the place where we both said forever. It’s funny how I’m alone here watching sunset that was once my favorite time of the day because after we fall apart, I avoided everything that may remind me of him, I was able to not like the things I used to like because he said forever but I’m alone suffering in pain.
The person I used to be
THE PERSON I USED TO BE
I was broken. Broken inside but not totally wreck on the outside. I know how to smile even though I’m not happy. I was cheerful whenever I have people around but silent when I’m all by myself. I get scared of failing, sacred of making mistakes because of the judgements that haunted me for years. I’m rushing everything because I’m too eager to see what happens, because I don’t like the situation I was in and so tired of being there. I have a lot of attitudes that never was right. I used to hate people for not being with me not knowing I’m better off without them. I used to feel low whenever my friends don’t choose me without knowing they’re not for me. I used to complain every night and whisper to the stars to make miracles because I pity myself. People don’t usually like me for I was very different from them. In terms of my beliefs, perspective in life and everything I’m doing they never liked either one of them. I always ask myself where did I go wrong, why does they won’t like me, why does I’m not a priority. Questions were always in my mind and no one was there to listen all of it but- I was informed that I’m not born to please them, I’m not here to get all of their attention but to live and appreciate life. I’m born to be my own, to shine like diamond and scream some elegance with kindness I shall manifest. I’m not their priority because I was bound to lose them for me to welcome those who are meant to be in my life.
The person who always watch herself in a mirror and cry for every flaw she saw in her eyes, cries whenever she can point out her mistakes and badly want to make it right. The person who always feel like the world always turn her down. The person who keeps on wishing for the nightmare to stop and just wake up from the situation she was in. The person that has always been fighting for her own happiness but ended up receiving another bunch of pain which always remind her to give up. The person who keeps on finding the home and comfort she wanted to feel because she’s exhausted from everything, that every time she stands up from her fall- her knees get so weak and choose to stay low on the ground and wait for her time to end. The person with so much in her mind and has a weak heart. She’s pitiful. She always let her mind control over her that she ends up losing the battle she started. The battle wherein she’s the only one who fight with herself. The person who never knew her worth and continued to be blind by what lies her mind says and what her eyes want to see. That person was me, the person I used to be.
The things that happened will surely shape the person, it will give you lessons and pain. The pain will never be forgotten no matter what happiness you have right now. Everything that happened never left you without any realizations that can be used to be able to faced and overcome another challenge tomorrow gives. Those struggles left you with not only just realization but also scars that you’ll surely not forget. The scars that were left will forever be with you that’s the sign of how brave you are and persistence on not giving up because you are still here, alive and still striving. No matter how long has it been, whenever you remember everything, you’ll surely look into the pain that you felt and reminisce those things with nothing but relief you have in your heart. Those painful scars can be your forever because they will heal but will never fade.
The past will always remind you how you are before and how many things you’ve experienced. How much you’ve suffered and how much you’ve grown up. It was never easy to faced battles alone, wherein no one will cheer you up but yourself. Moments where no one will hug you and remind you that everything will be okay. The feeling of lonely where every time you look around, you’ll see a lot of people but no ones there for you. The emptiness you’ll feel after an exhausting fight and sometimes smile sadly because you’re still alone in your journey. The feeling of tiredness when you’ll get to the point where you realize that you’ve prayed many times to have happiness but still nothing happens. Nothing seems right every time you fight that sometimes you just choose to not move and stay still until the day is over. But as time goes by, your life still goes on and that you yourself deserve the love you’ve been wanting to give other people, this love was not for them but meant for you, that as much as everyone in this world deserve your love and affection you’re better with yourself.
the void inside my heart--
There are days where you just feel down and feels like your on your own. The feeling of feeling nothing that affect your whole mood the whole day. It's not easy to feel down and just feeling numb because you always think where did you go wrong?-- It feels like the world has turn around you and just abandoned you.
You're left behind and no one stayed to guide you and be with you until you will be found. You're just lost and don't know how to find the way to go back to where you are still okay. It's not easy to go through phases like that. Every second you'll question your self, every minute you are just surrounded with negative energy, every hours pass by you'll just feel you're just wasting your time and it's better to just end everything. We sometimes don't know why we felt things like that but every pain made us stronger.
There are days where you'll look at yourself in the mirror and spot those flaws you have that will make you think, maybe they're the things I shouldn't have because of them I can't make myself happy and contended. The picture that was seen in the mirror was the mistakes you've made and flaws your eyes saw in you. Those mistakes cannot be undone no matter how we tried to go back in time but we can't. So, we'll end up mourning for it in the present, as well as in the future.
The days where you'll just spaced out the whole day seems like our rest day from the commotion of our outside world. We spaced out and just think about life and reminisce those things we have done and evaluate ourselves and think of a way to better in the future. In those days, we can't feel anything just numbness and emptiness, we sometimes become lonely without any reason. The feeling that you're just existing.
Someone said to just think positive so that we can be happy. We really can't do that because no matter how hard we try to ignore the negative thoughts it will always take over you, no matter how much you love to think positively, you really can't. If you say we can then put yourself on our shoes and see how chaotic our mind is. That is the reason of our emotions to also feel tired and just made us feel nothing but emptiness.
As a teenager, I've been through a lot. Pain from experiences, heartaches from friends, love life, etc. Challenges that made me feel I'm alone and I got to the point where I would wish to end the suffering, but I'm still here fighting. It never got into my mind that I would be able to get to the point where I'll suffer a lot because back in my childhood days, I was extremely happy that I couldn't think of any negative things in my life. But at this point I can say we will expect the unexpected to happen because no matter how impossible that is, we will get to experience it if it is our fate to be in that situation. No matter how much we try to deny everything, we can't win over our destiny.
In any case, that is very common, a lot of people who are experiencing different things, who are also trying to win over our destiny, who tries to change our fate but ended up crying in agony. They ended up giving up and the worst thing is loosing their hopes in life that makes them feel like lifeless and just wanted to close their eyes and sleep without waking up. Those are just things people feel.
I can somehow relate to others if they are also feeling the same thing. I have this moment where I just ask my self why does my heart longing for something I can't explain, It feels like there's something lacking and I can't determine what it is. The space within my heart cannot be filled with what I'm receiving and it's scary. It scared me how my heart is finding something, I myself don't even know what to ask. All I know is that it is craving for something beyond whatever people are thinking. But until now, there's still void inside my heart. I don't put too much attention to it but I can feel that it's still there.
As I was exploring my mind, I've read a book where it says "Your sufferings are to fulfill a promise. It is to deliver a blessing." And I feel like if I would approach the things I'm suffering maybe I would be able to look what's behind it and maybe I'd be able to see the blessing God has given me. Because sometimes we people are too focused on the pain and we sometimes forgot that there's beauty in it, that was meant for you only. God work on different way and we will never know unless we get to experience it and believe in it.
-Z
the thing we have for wishes---
Did you ever get to the point where you ask yourself if you want to go back to the past and just stay there?
In my case, I did. I always wish to go back to the good old days where I can still smile genuinely and enjoy the life that is free from responsibilities. If I have known that growing older means having more responsibilities and won't be able to enjoy life, I will choose to stay being a kid- but sadly I can't and never will.
The past year as I faced the new phase of my life, from being a child to a teenager and reach the early adulthood. I've been into so much lately, more responsibilities, more problems, trials and heartaches wherein all I can do is wish that I can go back to the days where I worry nothing but play games. Where I only cry when my mother scold at me.
But now everything is different, it took me how many weeks that turned into months to finally accept the life I had now. I've realized that looking back from the past, those moments we have while we are enjoying the life of being a children we should treasure it but it doesn't mean we should stay and be haunted by it. Instead, we use it as an inspiration as we go through the hardship tomorrows has to us. Yes, we will desperately wish to go back but seeing things won't go on our way if it isn't for us. God put us in this situation because He knows it's the best for us. God made me experiencing things that He knows, will help me in the future He planned for me, the future He prepared for me.
He knows what's the best for His people so never question Him.
The only thing is we can't immediately accept what He had given to us because that's not what we ask from Him, we asked for a different things but He had given us the opposite- because my friend I am telling this to you know-- He will never put you in a situation wherein you can't overcome it, He will never give you the things that will only make you harm- If he had given you things you didn't ask for, He was just making sure you are in the right way towards Him. If He made you feel the pain and heartbreaks He is making you stronger to face what's beyond tomorrow.
If you are still into wishing, it's normal. I am too, but sometimes I only reminisce those times and smiled at it like I'm telling myself that someday I will be able to let it go and make new memories with my new environment. It's hard, I know but the good thing is we can learn a lot from it, we can regulate ourselves and decide to be better and be stronger to face those possible things that may occur. It may get lonely sometimes but always put in your mind that there's one person who will never leave you and that is- HIM our GOD.
Realization will hit you after you experience certain things. There will be a lot of bumps on the road but I promise and can guarantee that you are not alone, He will be with you. Never close your mind to understand and be patient on everything, your time will come and if it is your turn, it would be grand and probably the best day of your life. So after all those things, you can be at ease that you are able to come this far while carrying those memories and lesson in your back, those will guide you to your way until you reach your destination, with the person who never leaved you- Him.
-Z
The sky lend me a hand too---
I've said from the other article that moonlight at night gives me comfort that a day time couldn't give but to dig deeper on that part. There's something about sky that will make you drown in it and somehow forget everything for a little while.
The blueish color it shows make your mind see the cleanliness and peacefulness of the surroundings despite the chaos below it. The sky with clouds may not be the darkness with moon in it but it somehow replace the absence of the things we always find and that somehow the way for you to see the beauty of other things. That in every things it has their own beauty and your eyes can see it but it's your choice to appreciate and embrace the beauty it posses.
Taking a walk to the open field with my head held high and I saw the beauty of the sky. The way how the clouds moves and the way how the color of the sky hypnotize my eyes up to my mind made me realize that the beauty of the things on earth can be seen if the beholder of the eyes learn how to appreciate the simplicity it gives.
Some people have their mind closed wherein they settle for what they already have and not bother to see the other great things the world could give. But sometimes, people also abuse the greatness of things. To have an open mind and understanding perception maybe the health of our emotional aspect could improve and give your life a lightness feeling you wish to have.
In every picture I have with the sky behind it, gives a different vibe to the outcome of the photo. You feel happiness just by looking in it because why not? The way how the sky compliment the posses you do and every color you wear, you can't go wrong with it. If I feel like there's something lacking in the moment, the moonlight may not be able to give it to me but there is sky to fill its absence and made it lighter for me. To be able to see other things and appreciate the feeling it could offer is the best thing you could do.
The longing I feel for the night and the moon somehow lessen because of the love of the sky brings to me. It always teach me how to be patient and wait for the others turn. Just feeling the moment in the present is not a waste of time I thought, it can be the way to rest and stop looking what tomorrow awaits. Because honestly that's what I always do, worry about what will happen tomorrow if I wouldn't be able to see the moon this night but then it all disappear as I've known the true essence of having to experience the day time.
It's never too late to realize and see greater things.
-Z
the love I have for 'moonlight'~ and insert the 'rain'.
WE, people have feelings to settle. Some of it may not be appropriate but it's normal because we are human, we feel different feelings, emotions that we sometimes can't control but the thing is to learn how to manage and control it.
I'm just a girl who like to see things in a deeper way, a teenage girl to be exact. The mind I have is crowded with different thoughts that no one wants to understand and no one can understand, it's disturbing to not be able to express and let my thoughts go out because I feel like no one would want to know and would be able to listen with me. But even tho things are like that, there's one thing that made me safe and at ease, it's the time where the night comes, a night where moon was there, who is willing to listen every rants my mind has, every secret my mind keeps, it was always there and that was the time that I realized that we don't really need a person to satisfy our longing, its not about the love we feel from a human but the peacefulness and calmness we found on certain thing. And for me that's the ambiance of the "night" and the comfort of the "moonlight" brings.
Every day myself need someone to talk to, I might be able to do that but sometimes I can't. I'm better with someone who can relate to me and vice versa, but people are rare. Whenever the night comes my mind keep searching the moon who complete the perfect mood of the night and that's where my thoughts feels freedom that the morning couldn't give. It feels lost in the morning but at home in the evening.
Just like what I said the feelings I have for days are different when I'm in the setting of the calmness of the night with the moonlight shining from above. The moon maybe far but still it did its best to bring light through my darkest and chaotic mind.
I've spent half of my youth years finding where I belong, and when I've found it to the comfort the moonlight gives, I've somehow can say that I have a place to go to whenever I want to escape from everything. My mind has been stable for a while but we can't really keep things to the way it is, it will change. Because change is constant in this world.
There will be times where I can't locate the moon when it's raining. It block the only way my mind could rest but instead raining makes my body falls asleep but my mind keeps on finding the moonlights embrace. Even though its like that, the opportunity of the absence of the moon gives my mind the chance to see the other things that can also help. I've learned that there's more to moonlight and if I will be able to see the other things, I might be able to appreciate the beauty of every creation our God made. It may be long to learn how to love the rain but the thing is I somehow like it. It may not give the comfort the moonlight gives but it can also be an escape from loud things that keep on bugging my ears. Sometimes we want a peaceful surroundings but people keep talking and negative thoughts keep on appearing and this I saw the chance to embrace the feeling the rain can give. And fortunately it helps a lot. Rain can be the hindrance for the moon to not come and be visible but it gave the chance to other people who want to rest from overthinking, it give a different comfort for a specific reason and purpose. And by that situation I can say that it's not always our turn, it's not always our life. We will shine in our time, in the perfect moment that was planned for us, we take turns.
You may be contented with where you are right now but exploring other things won't make you less happy. It can be fun, because from the past years as I grow I've realized to see everything before I decide, to explore is to see new things that could be better from what you already have. My thought is why settle for less when you can have more?
DISCLAMER!!!
This is not applicable to all because we are different humans who has different needs. You may already found your place but not the same with what I describe and claim, so excuse me if I may be different from yours. This is my own view of things.
-Z
The Love we used to have-
Driving silently in this peaceful road listening to music, going to where my dream destination is. The night is still young but I want to reach the place in early time. I smile looking at the street lights, this is what I love to see......what we both love to see. I remembered our first time going on a road trip together, we were so happy enjoying the night with these lights and that was also the time I said yes to him and it feels so nostalgic looking back at it now.
I heard my phone notify. I smiled at the name of the texter.
**"******where are you?******"** that was the text said.
**"******getting close now******"** I type for replied.
*"Joyyyyyy" he shouted. "Ohh?" I shouted back and started laughing at the view of him looking scared that we might get caught being in this private property. He really looks scared-- "come on, there's no one here, its just us. No need to worry." I said as I walk back to him. We were on a road trip again and I decided to stop by at this private beach property or whatever you call it. It's so beautiful here and I want to swim in the middle of the night but this man here, my boyfriend is a good man and too scared that we might get caught sneaking into someone's property.*
*"We'll go after we take a dip, alright?" he declared. I smiled widely at him and hug him and start running to the water while admiring how beautiful the moon shining its reflection to the sea, it makes the place more attractive. The owner probably so lucky to have this kind of place.*
*I felt someone behind me and suddenly hugged me from the back. We listened to the music of the waves splashing to the shore. It feels surreal being in the arms of your love, feeling the silence and peacefulness of the place. I wish this would be forever--*
*I faced him and put my arms around his shoulder, he then put his to my waist and danced without music feeling the warmth of each other and listening to our heart as it beats rapidly... "I will always love you, Joy" He suddenly stated. "I will be forever inlove with you..... Niall" I powered back. We smiled at each other and then suddenly he added his words with something that melted my heart. "I'm gonna marry you someday, I promise and will do it." he added while he look at me with those black eyes drowning me with love. I was taken back, that promise got me speechless, tears started forming in my eyes. I don't really know what to say, I just hugged him and cried silently at his bare shoulder. To be honest, I still can't believe that there will be someone who is willing to spend his life with me, a person who accepted me for being me, even though I don't have anything to offer, he willingly stayed by my side as we both reaching our dreams.......*
*Our love was so perfect that I started believing that we will end up with each other.*
*That night was so special that I didn't expect that things would fall apart.*
I just arrived at the place. The place where the promise was made. I walked to the garden and greeted by people whom I'm familiar with, these people are their friends but not mine. I don't really have people whom I can call friends because I'm not that sociable, he was the first one and his friends but things got complicated but now we are making things okay.
"Hi, doctora!" someone shouted that causes the others to turn their heads on my direction. I smiled and waved."Uhm, Hi?!" Someone walked straight to my way and welcomed me with his open arms. "Welcome?!" he said to me with those happy smile "I miss you.." he said while embracing me, I chuckled slowly and God knows how I tried so hard to not make my eyes teary. You don't know how much I miss you, how much I longed for you....I thought. It has been 8 years since I last saw him, I tapped his back to break the hug. My eyes widened seeing the other two boy friends of his whom I can also call as my friends, they're waiting for me to come to them, I smiled running towards them and hug them both. "I missed you both." I chuckled. I miss having them as my friends. Jack and Pat were the friends I wish to never lose. "It's good to see you too, Joy." Jack said smiling with his signature cocky smile, never changed. I smiled because I know he'll tease me from being a Doctor now. "Did you eat already?" Pat asked. I smiled "No, I assume you guys have a lot of foods here so I didn't bother to." He just rolled his eyes at my remarks. Ohh! that habit of his still didn't change. He used to do that when he knows I am lying. Jack and I started laughing and suddenly interrupted with an angel voice. "Hi Joy, I thought you wouldn't come." My smile faded and turn to look at her. She's beside him smiling widely "Thank you for coming, btw." she added. I just nodded and smiled because I don't really talk to others rather than these two.... and him "uhh, we have foods here feel free to get what you want and Pat can you show her the room she will be staying at?." and Pat being Pat just nodded. I smiled, and the three of us headed to the food place.
This is what I am now, a Doctor, I've achieved the dream of mine.... but sadly without him by my side. Things don't really go according to what we planned, it will always take the other side of the way. Just like us, we dreamt of being together forever, he dreamt of marrying me and promised to live with me 'till we turn old and grey but things break apart and all I have left now was words, his words and promises. I laughed at myself while looking at the mirror here in the comfort room of my room. It's funny how I can and was able to look at them a while ago. It hurts seeing him with her, It hurts to think that he who promised marrying me, ended up marrying her. Yes, he ended up wanting to marry her, and now I am attending the wedding he promised to happen for me. Tomorrow is his big day and I still need to get my self ready for it.
I still can't sleep so I walk through the window door and star at the moon. It feels nostalgic because the moment I looked at the moon it reminded me of every night we go on a road trip. The moon always remind me that there's a point in my life that he loved me and that's more than enough.
btw, their wedding is held in the beach where he promised to marry me and yes the girl he's marrying owned the beach where we danced under the moonlight with love overflowing around us but our story ended up and his continued with the love of his life, Anna--- an angel and loveable girl.
"Joy?" I heard someone outside the door and I know it's Pat. I fixed myself and smiled before opening the door. He smiled too upon seeing me. "It's time." he declared with those meaningful eyes and I know it's not just about the time of the wedding but also the time to let go of him from my heart, it's time to face the fact and accept everything now.
The people are excited and happy I can see it through their eyes and I don't know what to look like, should I smile or just keep my straight face?
I sat in the chair on the back side, I don't really want them to see me, I'm just here to finally see the man I love get married with his love. I know it's sad but sadness is my friend now.
The wedding started and I'm just watching the people smiling until the time the bride will walk down the aisle I'm supposed to be on, hahaha--- their theme song started and I can see the man I dreamed get his eyes teary. The whole time he watches her going to him and the people around us, my eyes were in him. I tear fell in my eyes as I heard his vow for her and in that moment I wished I was that woman he marries.
I felt someone beside me and offered me a handkerchief. "I want to punch him right now you know?" I laughed at his remarks. "I want to shout at him and made him realize how fool he is to let you go." I looked at him to see if he's serious and surprisingly he is. "Jack, you're funny, hahaha" I'm still laughing until Pat joins. "It's not good to see a beautiful goddess crying and at the same time laughing." he said that made me pout and wiped my tears. "You look crazy" Jack said and he wiped my tears instead. My laughter suddenly faded and it automatically turn into cries. It's funny how the others are celebrating but here I am crying--- Jack hugged me and Pat shield us away from the people. We left the place. I calmed myself as they both patiently waited me to stop crying. "I'm sorry, you guys should go back there." They looked at me with those sorry eyes. "I'm okay now, you can go back and have fun." "we'll go back together fix yourself." Pat said. "Nah, I don't think I can act like it's not hurting, because its still does" I replied. "I'll stay here with you" Jack said and I immediately disagreed. "You both should go back they'll find you, and I will leave now as I should be-" "We can't leave you like that here." Pat argued. "You guys should." I said firmly. They both went silent because they know they can't argue with me. I took something on my purse and offered it to them. Jack took it and Pat still looking at me with nothing but seriousness. "When you both go back there as I leave, can you give it to him? alone?" I looked at them and smiled sadly, It's the only thing that keeps me holding on from him. "What's this?" Jack asked confusingly. I smiled at him before answering. "It's his promised vow. We wrote one for each other and honestly that was the only thing left for me aside from the memories we had and I'm giving it back to him as a sign that finally I'm letting him go, that this will eventually the end of us." You're leaving aren't you?" Pat asked. "You will end things with him but not with us right?" Jack blurted. I chuckled "ofcourse, you both are the only one that's left to me, so this is not a goodbye. Until then?" I walk towards them and hugged each one of them. "I'm gonna miss you both." I'm gonna miss them because like what Pat said I'm leaving, there was an offer in America and I think its my chance to fly away from here, to move on. I look at them for the last time and turn my back. A hand grab my arms, "You'll call right?" Jack asked and I nod. He hugged me tightly like I'm gonna vanish. "I'll miss you----" Pat walked to me and kiss my forehead like a sign of his support to my decision. "Until then"....
I walked again with tears in my eyes and trying my best not to look at them.
I closed the door of my car. I guess this is it. I sighed and started my car. I was about to drive when I saw his eyes looking at my car. Tears start pouring again. "Why are you here?" I said silently as I put my head at the stirring wheel and cried again, this time harder.
I looked up to him through my side mirror. He was about to run but I suddenly open my window and got my half body out to shout at him. "Niall! Congratulations!!!" He stopped and look at me sadly. "I need to leave now-- and I want to sa-y that---" I can't talk straight my tears keeps pouring and my voice always crack. So instead shouting I choose to say it silently. "I'll forever love you-" I cried and got back to my seat and put my seatbelt on, and for the last time I look at him looking back at me. I smiled and waved my hand outside my window. "Goodbye!" There I finally said it.
I drove my car and left the place.
The life we planned is not final, a lot of things will happen. Unexpected things will happen and we're lucky if we will be able to overcome every trials and challenges.
The life I dreamt of was with him, every wishes, prayers, he is in it. But I lost him and it hurts because as he left my heart was with him.
I just realized that we don't own people, they have their own decision. Now, as I leave the place, I'm also leaving my heart to him, it's always his.
Just like what I promised, I'll be forever loving him, my heart will, always will.
This is Doctor Galezar Joy, now signing off.
Life still goes on...
Living in this world, people can’t avoid experiencing and facing different challenges and trials in life, they might suffer for a long time but having the perseverance and hope in them may result them to overcome and solve the problems. The whole world faced and still facing the biggest problem that affected the entire human race. In the late 2019, the coronavirus occurred and then later on call the COVID19, it affected the whole people living in this world. The virus made the new year of the people shocking and unexpected.
The outbreak of the virus takes over the news, in every news station the number of people who are affected was and still shown, the cause of the virus and the symptoms are everywhere you see but still the people lives continue to go on not minding the situation of the world. The loss of job, interactions, finances and the numbers of death are just some of the results of the outbreak of the virus. The people suffered a lot and experienced the agony of life, some felt that their life has stopped moving but still the clock is ticking. Corona virus really made the year 2019, more and very challenging. The chosen people who are called the *front liners* are risking their lives to save the people and finding solutions to eliminate the virus. Some people have the privileged to stay home and not worry about the finances, and some people doesn’t which makes them lives prone to danger. As the time pass by, the number of coronavirus patients gradually increasing and the cases are slowly making its way to places. This difficult situation never left the lives of the people and no one knows when it will be over and leave the world however, this happening taught a lot of lesson to the people, they may lose something or someone but they gained something they could carry throughout their lives.
Summing up, the life people have is not forever there and it isn’t a life lasting gift God gave, it is just a borrowed life so might enjoy it while it last. The outbreak of corona made the people realized that everything changes and unexpected things happens and no one can predict it. No one can know what tomorrow awaits. Thus, Corona virus made 2019 the most challenging and difficult to face.
Random Poem
I took a deep breath while staring at the city lights
what do you think I would do tonight
Never knew I would come this far
despite the fact that I don't have a car.
A poem "What a relief"
"**What a relief"**
I'm suffering from something I can't explain
Maybe from sadness and in pain
I feel like flying like a plane
wishing I could break free from the pain
Too slow, the time move
I already wanted to share my POV
but I'm afraid can't do the first move
too bad for me because I'm not in groove
I know you've always been there
waiting for me to find my courage to share
although you already know my secrets
but you stayed by my side without any regrets
What a relief you are my friend
My savior and hero till the end
You're the first one who believe I can improve
To be able to change and to behoove
What a relief you are my God
Who will save me when there's a flood
And hold my hand to prevent me from falling
Because You don't want to see me crying.
@Zai
