You dont like me because you judge me already.

My anxiety happened again last night when I used the phone of my husband. I played a restaurant game on his phone because I have no space on mine and while I am playing there's a messages on his messages that keeps on popping up resulting that I read it all. Then I found out that it's a group chat of his childhood friends and there's one of the member there that didn't like me. Yeah she don't like me for my husband.

A story in the past..

A couple of months ago I write an article entitled call me mistress. I am referring to me but not totally mistress because we didn't know if the girlfriend of the boy is truly exist because it's been 8 years of thier relationship they didn't see each other. Then I get attached with that boy because of loneliness. We had an affair , I go tot thier house and he also go to our house. We are like in relationship but we don't have any label until time comes that I asked him to choose and choose her girlfriend and then I moved on.

That boy is the niece of my husband. Isn't it awkward? Yes it is very awkward especially I already visited the place of my husband before I met him. Why I met my husband? It is because of him also. You know our love story because I also share it here. Before I said yes to him we already talk about it. I know I will be judged because of my past. I know I will be humiliated and I said to my husband that I will accepted it and proved to me that we love each other.

So the rumors came and then the two girl friend of my husband showed hatred to me. They let me feel that they hated me and until now I can't able to forget that especially the one girl.

I didn't met them in person yet that time and I met them when we attend the wedding of my husbands niece because my husband is the best man. I am shaking that time but I told myself that I will still smile at them and greet them when I see them but all of it didn't happened because the time they entered the door it feels like they didn't see me and they walk straightly at dinaanan lang ako.

I am hurt , my husband was hurt also. I didn't expect that they will do that.

Then my husband and them have a conversation while practicing for the same day edit and then the groom said to the girl that she will also be a bridesmaid once me and my husband will get married and then the girl said " Di bale na" .

I am not a plastic person. If you don't like me it's fine with me but I am hurt because they already judge me without hearing the whole story. Then I got pregnant and my husband told me that the girl talk to him and said " Pakisabi kay ate Yen tanggap na namin sya " . And I was like? Seriously? She said that? Why she need to say that? Like kailangan tanggap nya ko? My goodness.

Regarding on the other girl , she already said sorry to me and said she was just carried away on the madness of her bestfriend. Now, we are in good terms though not close enough but still I feel that genuineness when I talk to her.

So last night , the invited my husband to eat for reunion because they have a group when they are teenager and I said it to my husband that I am bother everytime I think of the past , I mean what the girl said to me. Then my husband said don't think it to much because thier opinion is not important. But because I am overthinker I always think about it and everytime I think about it I remember my past and it feels like I am worthless.

I know I have done mistakes in the past but even once I didn't commit any illegal acts on my husband because my husband knows that I changed. Maybe they think I am not match with my husband because I am liberated and my husband is not but they didn't know the story.

Until now , I didn't add her as a friend in Facebook and last night when I chatted on the ground chat sh didn't interact and let the other members replied to me. As much as I want to be close with them I don't know if I can. My husband said love your enemy and show kindness to her. For me it's hard to do but my husband said it's not hard to do because that what's God design you. I talk to her casually anyways , like smiling at him and I mean it but that's all. Not talking or any bonding something.

If you are in my situation how will you feel?