We never know the face of depression.

Way back 2014. I am working as a Sales Representative in one of the malls in Manila. I have a workmate there. She was a happy lady. She has smiling face, an energetic vibe that makes the store more positive. She was also a born again christian. I am so closed to her because we both love pink 💞 We also have similarities and we also talked about random things that makes us more open to each other.

One day while we were in a duty, she told me her secret. She trusted me already that time and I am curious about her secret so I told her to start telling it. She confessed something to me. We've been together in the store for 2 months that time and she was assigned on the other branch before she was transferred on our branch. Our team leader also told me to observed her attitude because my team leader said there was something strange to her and she was under observation. I observed her quietly on the store. She's fine, she sell a lot of product and I didnt saw anything wrong with her.

Let's back to her confession. They told me that she attempted suicide during her duty in her previous branch. She drink agua oxinada or hydrogen peroxide in the comfort room of the mall and she went back to the store. After few minutes she started vomiting and feel the pain on her stomach. Her co worker already brought her to the mall clinic. They hide that incident on our boss because for sure she will be terminated.

We separated our ways when we both resigned to our job. I was hired as a Data Lift Auditor and she was hired as a Call Center Agent. She got pregnant and got married but after a year she was separated with his husband. That time we still had a communication. We updated each other and do meet up sometimes. Our connection stopped when we had a little misunderstanding. After that misunderstanding I have no idea how her life going.

After 3 years. I clicked the memories on my FB account and I saw the photos of her and me took a selfie. I viewed her profile and I saw that shes been active on the church and I am happy that she's living a good life despite of what happened to her. I added her as a friend just to see some updates on her but not a typical friends like us on the past.

Just recently, I saw one of her post saying that she's attemping suicide again. I commented on her post saying she tried to attempt suicide again. She messaged me and said that she deleted her post. Maybe other people has no idea what she going through.

I was shocked knowing that she's been in depression stage for almost 13 years. Gladly she convinced herself to visit a psychiatrist for medical assitance and do therapies needed for her condition.

Now her strength is her first daughter. She also had a new relationship and also a newborn baby. Depression is still near to her , the post partum depression. Sometimes I saw her post on my newsfeed about her depression or a hint that shes depressed. I am just hoping and praying that she overcome those thoughts that comes to her mind.

Here's her latest post in FB.

>Depression, Anxiety, Stress, everything hits me for weeks now. Been so down lately since I have a history of MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and Anxiety Disorder Overthinking about everything. No one will ever understand how it alters life when we suffer from it. You know that feeling you have in your gut when you are about to and/or really need to cry. While that is what it is like. and yet in the back of my mind I feel more alone than ever and I just want to curl up into fetal position and cry. It is complete solitude. It’s when my brain tells me that I am alone, that I can’t be loved, that no one really wants me around, and worst of all that no one will understand me. But the idea that no one will ever truly understand who I am, or any of that. That is a little harder to dissuade myself from believing. Because as much as I can tell people what I went, and still go through and what goes through my mind, who can really understand me other than me. And that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but the way my depression tells me it, it is a bad thing. So here's my babygirl, loving me for who and what I am. Standing still because of my girl. I can't leave her. I will never leave her. My one and only ray of sunshine. You always make my life worth living. I know I am a bad mama but please know that no matter what I go or will go through I will always think what is best for you mga anak ko.

And now, And most of all, because I only have one life, and I want to live it. Because even though when my depression spikes it makes me want to not live sometimes, I refuse.

Because I am the author of my own life and I choose to put a semicolon instead of a period at every point that my depression tells me otherwise.

So that is how my depression affects my life. That is how I deal with it. Like it or not I always will. <

I know she still suffering from depression but the good thing is that she's trying to overcome and fight it because of her children. She's now open with it and aware of it. I know even if I not on her side, she has a lot of friends that will be there beside her.

That's all. Good night and praying for all who have a heavy loads. Be in faith and continue to fight. Let's look on the brighter side of life 😉