When you gave birth to your child and became a mother , you always want what's the best for your little one. You want to protect them as much as you can , you want to give the best care and love them unconditionally. But did you know that sometimes being over protective and so much affection can harm your child rather than putting them in a good place?
That kind of act is called over parenting. I know you have now an idea what over parenting is after reading the first paragraph but I want to elaborate it and let's see if you are over parenting. When you are over parenting , your children may fail to stand on their own because thier mindset is that I have a parent who will take care of all. Here are some scenario that maybe you are relatable or maybe not. I will also include my experience about it.
1. You are the one who decide what child will do after school.
I know , we have the right to tell our child what to do after school. Maybe you want them to do thier homework or something but please consider also thier wants. I mean , if they want to play games after school it's fine as long as you set a time and limitation for them. Don't force them to do things that they don't want because it is like you control them and thier true interest and hobbies will not be prioritize and as they grow up they will having a hard time figuring out who they really are.
"My son is only 2 years old and pressuring him to do or learn things is not on mind. I am thankful that he has an interest on numbers and alphabet but I didn't force him to learn that. I just want him to enjoy that toddler days and no pressures.
2. Putting your child's clothes to them.
It is bit annoying when you are in a hurry and you can't wait your child to put thier clothes on thier own but how can they able to learn those things if you will not let them to do that?
"Its a bit cute during those times that my son want to dress himself and he didn't do it properly but I let him like than until he cries and he said he can't and ask for my help. Until now he didn't able to put clothes on his own but I still trying to practice him.
3. Answering questions when someone ask on your child.
Let your child speak and wait for thier own answer. You can help her a bit if you noticed that they didn't heard the question. Let them anwer because in that way their confidence will boost and they will learn to think in their own.
"My son typically ask a question " how old are you or where are you going ". When I feel like he didn't hear it or he is shy , I will repeat the question to him and I will wait for him to answer and I must say that my son is now confident to answer questions like that even if he didn't recognize the person.
4. Replacing a broken or missing toy.
If reasonable or needed , ofcourse you can replace a toy but in those case that your child is the one who has fault, replacing thier toys is just a way of teaching them that it's okay if they will not take good care of thier toys because thier parents will always buy new ones after broking it. Maybe today , it's just a toy who cost a hundred pesos but what if on upcoming years? When they learn not to take good care of thier things? It would be your problem too.
"As for now, I am not relatable with this one because my son is not into a lot of toys. I choose to make him minimalist and appreciate every stuffs that I bought for him. To be honest , his toy became broken because of his playmates who was older than him and yeah , I am annoyed because my son was crying because his toys was broke and he can't play with it anymore.
5. Child forget to bring his project to school and you will be the one to do it.
Letting yourself do your child's responsibility makes your let your child thinks that it's okay. You need to teach them how to be responsible. When your child think that you will always on the rescue , it somehow to harmful because it can cause a complacence to a child.
"I am a bit guilty about this even if my son didn't study yet. It is because of some moment that I feel I spoiled him because everytime he cries , I give what he wants but not all the time. I also make sure that he will grow up responsible. Example is throwing candy wrapper in a trash bin. I always remind him to do that and you know what's good? His cousins also do the same thing because they saw my son do it everytime.
6. Rushing to your child to do the first aid when they trips.
Getting hurt is part of playing outside. Especially when your child is playing with playmates. When they get hurt , they will learn how to pick up themselves and be brave and ask for your help if needed. If you are always there to help them , why can they learn to ask for help when they are in pain.
" As a mother of 2 year old kid , I witnessed my son to get wounded and hurt during those times that he still learn to walk until now that he can now run. A couple of day ago , he was running outside our house and get wounded. Yes he cried but after I said that he needs to stand up because he is brave , he stand up and said to me that it was his fault because he is makulit.
This is just the first 6 scenario of over parenting and I will continue the remaining scenario on my next article. Are you relatable with these mommies?
Guilty of those ones but not all the time.. there are circumstances that sometimes I do those above mentioned but never did I do number 5😁.. those things na akala natin na small things pero it makes a big impact really as they grow older.