I felt heartbreak by those thoughts.

My breastfeeding journey started 3 years ago. To be honest we didn't plan to breastfeed our little because our plan is I will be back from work after three months of maternity leave but things happened not according to the plan. I breastfeed my son because he is a colicky baby and his pediatrician said I need to breastfed him to avoid being colicky.

To be honest I don't want because he might be used to it and I will be having a hard time to wean him and drink formula milk but still I push breastfeeding. I don't have milk , thats what's on my mind. I search in Google how to boost my milk supply and even posted at Facebook asking about breastfeeding then my officemate told me to join the breastfeeding Pinays in Facebook because she said she was encouraged to breastfeed her children because of that group.

I entered the group and I leaned a lot on them. Then after two months I decided to wean my little one but he don't want to drink milk in bottle thats why I decided to resign and choose to be a stay at home mom. My officemate said that time, the expenses is almost the same if you will be back at work and buy a formula milk because the formula milk we choose to him was similac tummy car and yeah that formula milk is bit pricey. I push my breastfeeding journey even if they said my son is old enough to win. Like now he is already playing with kids but still breastfeed. I told them that I don't want to wean him because I want him to selfwean. And you know weaning him makes my heart breaks. Like I will missed those time that he is was so sweet on me. Did you know that he even hug and kiss my Bobbie and told them that he loves the both of them haha.

Then yesterday , you know that I went to the clinic for check up and find out that I have an infection in kidney and I need to take medicine which is antibiotics and the doctor said its not allowed for the breastfeeding moms.

I have a post in noise.cash and I also posted it on Facebook.

I need to stop breastfeeding Kyrie because I am taking some antibiotics that is not allowed for a breastfeeding mom. I have no choice but to stop breastfeeding him for seven days. Then I told my husband that we need to switch position on bedtime so that Kyrie will not be triggered to asked for my breasmilk. Then my husband told me , just tell him and he will understand.

His Papa explain to Kyrie that he need to stop breastfeeding because I am taking some medication and he will breastfed again when I finished the medication. Last night , me and his Papa were amazed because he sleep by himself and didn't asked for my milk gold. It was a heartbreak to see my son sleeping on his own last night 🤣

Then when he woke up earlier , I told him if he wants some breast milk and he said " Hindi pwede dede kay Mama kasi iinom sya ng gamot . Kapag magaling na si Mama dedede nako. Yehey! " .

I feel so proud because at his young age he seems to understand what's happening to us. I have doubts pa yesterday kasi baka dumede sya pero hindi. Naiintindihan nya kami. Ngayon natulog ulit sya alone. Nakakasad lang yung part na pwede ko na pala syang iwean pero ayoko pa.

Then I recieved a comment that my son will be wean already because the 7 days is lon enough. Then I told her I am not ready 😭

Earlier I talk to my son and told him that he will Dede again once I am fine. He didn't answer me but I repeat it again and hug him. Why I feel this way? Huhu. I feel like his sweetness on me will be gone once he is wean already. I know I am not the one who felt this because I know breastfeeding moms are relatable to me.

After seven days of taking the medication I am hoping that he will Dede again but it it's not then he is already big boy huhu.