Why Say, I Love You ?

I attended a wedding reception last week and I saw the love flow between the newly wedded couple. I began to ask myself this question "was this the same way, people in abusive marriages once felt" staying infront of the crowd just to deceive us, they were happy together? . Or was it a fairy that changed their love story to a hate story. What really happened, I began to ponder.

While still wondering, I heard loud shouts from the crowd, all I heard where this beautiful word, commonly abused in our world today, "I love you" . I smiled, while I brought out my tablet to take a picture of them.

'I love you' is the most abused statement in our world today. We barely can't identify love from infatuation. Though I grew up to hear, love is blind but I doubt. Is love really blind? In marriages husbands beat their wives at the slightest provocation, if love was really blind, who gave the husband the eye to see and abuse his dearly beloved wife, a term used at the altar.

If love was really blind, they won't be chaos, in our world today, nations rising against nations, all in a bid to inflict pains.

Stop saying "I love you" if all you care about Is yourself, love was never selfish, if it were to be selfish, Christ wouldn't gave died for us. The kind of love, no one has ever shown. The earlier we differentiate between possession from true love, the better for us. Because when true love uses words like us, we and ours. Possession uses words like I, me and myself. It worries less about the other party. I was opportune to have my internship in the psychiatric unit of the hospital where I am working, they offer free counseling sessions to couples too.

They came this young lady whom I think just got married, she complained bitterly about how badly, she was being treated by her husband. Though they worked in the same company and returned home same time, he was always in the demanding end of the table, he will never assist in preparing dinner or help with the children, all he cared about was himself. I know they are marriages were all the chores are carried out by the wife while all the bills are taken care of by the husband, it shows cooperation but trust me, they are days when your partner craved your aassistance.

I grew up with my grandparent And noticed this impeccable behavior which drew my attention, they were both wrong at the same time, no matter whose fault it was. They took turn to say am sorry, and they were serious about it. I still remembered the day grandma slept and forgot to lock the chicken's pen, something terrible happened and all the chicken were gone. Grandma was worried but at the same time relaxed. When grandpa returned from his journey, she made him his favorite cake which was vanilla flavored cake. When he had finished eating, she narrated everything to him, I thought he was going to shout and probably hit her, as seen in movies, He walked up to grandma and held her hands, he said "am sorry" . They both smiled and moved on to discussed about his journey.

I was curious to know why, I walked up to grandpa, he told me "Alicia, we have lived for over 50years together, with only one formula in mind, always ready to forgive one another. It was my fault the chicken are gone, if I was around, they wouldn't have gone missing. I looked at grandpa and smiled, I learnt something expensive that day. True love shared in all the blames.

Have seen relationships gone sour because nobody was ready to take the blame. But my grandparent showed me, if I ever wanted a long lasting relationship, then I should never be scared to take the blame, even if when it was my partner's fault. The smallest "am sorry" is better than a fake "I love you" . Love blotted out all errors but how ready are we to take responsibility of our actions. Rather than masked our pains and disappointments with a phrase we are not so sure of why don't we keep our selfishness. Being in love just to satisfy once hormonal surge is selfishness, you saw her and fell in love with her physique, tasked your mind to convinced her, you really wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, "I love you" was badly abused by you, yes! You abused the word, got all you wanted and off you went. Why did you use the word "I love you" when you knew it was just an infatuation?

Someone once said the easiest way to get to a woman's heart is by lying. And of all the lies to be used, you used "I love you" a statement many haven't heard since they were born. So they await the day, someone will say it to them with all amount of seriousness and they you are lying to her?

Please don't say "I love you" when you know, it's all a lie.

Do have a wonderful time, dear friends.....

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