What If tomorrow never comes ?

I stood by the bedside with tears in my eyes looking at how they wrapped her, the doctor whisper few words into her father's ear, immediately he turned to look at my direction, my heart skipped a beat, ' what have I done, was all I could mumbled" .

Then I saw tears rolled down his eyes, I was forced to move close, not scared of being strangled by Mr. Douglas. He hugged me tightly . I sniffed and broke down crying, ha! What have I done, she is gone. Gone forever...

I know you all want to know what really happened, Her name was Sonia, the first girl I ever admired but was to scared to tell her.

Introvert!

That was the word, that deprived me a lot of happiness, how was I to break free from it, that was the question I usually asked myself. My name is Jason, friends called me 'jay jay', timid but intelligent. I was the love of the class because I was always ready to help whenever the need arises. Everyone was curious to know the love of my life, I don't know why, maybe cause I was too caring, each time they asked me who she was, I will always smile and never say anything. Where was the courage to ask anyone out, I felt you needed some kind of supernatural powers to do that. Every valentine's day met me without a lover.

Something happened one day, this beautiful damsel walked into the canteen and got all head turned, she was the new girl, Lucas told me about, what a goddess I thought I whispered, only for everyone to turn and laughed at my direction, then I heard them say "awwwwn" . I was death struck, I almost spilled my drink on myself, I ran out to get some air. Then I heard Lucas laughing behind me, "I told you she was as beautiful as the sun, hope you've found your better half, he said with a sigh.

Introvert!!!!!!!

That was all my mind could tell me, jay-jay you know very well, how uneasy it is to talk to a lady, not even the one as beautiful like the new girl, how do you intend to do so! My heart beat was increased. I slowly looked up and told, Lucas " I don't even like her, I was reading a line from a novel I was reading, never knew I was that loud. Common, Lucas, I can't be so carried away by a stranger, you know. All this while trying to convince my friend, I knew I was lying. He gave a funny face and we both laughed walking back to class. Though I tried so hard to cover up, I knew deep down, I was in love with Sonia, but how do I man up to tell her was the problem.

Months passed by, the love become stronger, I just couldn't sundue the feelings anymore, I mustered some courage, I walked up to her after our story break, only for me to lost my voice. I stood for long without saying anything, seems her beauty wiped out every sense off me, I was woken from my trance by laughters from her friends... As usual, I ran to the rest room...

Introvert!!!!!!!!

I was screaming and hitting hard in the Door, I just wanted be in free from being robbed off what I duly deserve. Mr. Wilson the school psychologist walked into the toilet, I was soaked in my own tears and sweat, I just couldn't put up with life anymore. He asked what happened, at first I hesitated telling him, he placed his hand on my shoulder and whispered, "son, I saw you through my window, you took that bold step, which wasn't bold enough and now you are back to your starting point, its hard for you but trust me I will help you. I quickly clean my eyes and was ready to pay any price for this salvation I was about to receive. He cleared his throat, but stopped to look at how serious I was, he smiled and told me, "It's gonna be alright" .

Mr. Wilson gave me a textbook on how to boast my self esteem, I devoted more time for it, than I did to school work. My grades gradual reduced, but who cares, all I ever cared for was to own Sonia. On completion of the book, he took me to the park, "let's assume, that was Sonia standing over there, how will you approach her, he said pointing to a girl standing at the other side of the park.

I told him all that I had studied, he was impressed then asked me to try it out..My feets became so heavy to carry me, but I had to force myself, since I didn't want to twart his efforts, I walked up to the girl. I tapped gently on her shoulder, "Hi! My name is Jason, I stood afar watching wanted to ask, if I could join you? She smiled and looked at me, lo! And behold she was Sonia, though she looked slightly different, because of the head warmer she was wearing. My heart almost flew out of my mouth, she answered sure, you are free... I couldn't say any more words, as we stood there watching some kids play football. We both stole glances at each other. I wanted to tell how I felt, but I was shut down by the tiny voice in my head, screaming

Introvert!!!!!!!

Her dad came to pick her in the evening, I could read the disappointed written all over her face, Mr. Wilson was also disappointed, I sat looking out of the window till he drove me home. When I was about to open the door, he held my hands and asked me "why, did you mess it all up" I replied "am so sorry sir, I will try again tomorrow"

He echoed back almost immediately " What if tomorrow never comes ?

It was so true, that was the last time, I saw Sonia. She was diagnosed of Leukemia, and her condition got worst as The day went by. The day I met with her at the park, she was undergoing her 4th chemotherapy and the doctor, had told her she had just 3 days to live.

Mr. Wilson called me to tell me abt the health of Sonia, I ran out of his office and went directly to the hospital. On opening the door, I met them wrapping her up, yeah! She was dead, gone for eternity. I stood there crying, his dad handed me the letter she wrote:

Dear Jason;

By the time, you are reading this I should be dead, I hope you will stay strong for me. I noticed you had feelings for me, but you were so careful in not letting me know, I won't blame you dear, I understood you were an introvert, I fell in love with you since the very first day, you called me a goddess at the canteen, I was waiting for you to make a move and I would have dived right into your arms. I had to pay Mr. Wilson, to help boast your level of confidence, of which I was impressed the very first day, you touched me at the park, though it was a tap but I think admitting it was a touch, helps to calm me down. When he told me, you were doing just fine, I requested he brought you to the park, I just wanted spending my last day on earth with you. Though I did but I wasn't chanced to tell you how much I love you. Baby! I wish we had happened but we didn't because I wouldn't have love to watch you get hurt, when am gone. Do take care of yourself, make sure you practice all that Mr. Wilson had taught you, and never be scared to express your feelings.

I will always smile at you from heaven. Good bye my introvert lover. I love you so much.

With love from Sonia.

Lead image from: Unsplash

I wept uncontrollable. Dear friends, if you love someone, don't be scared to tell them, because, you don't know what will happen the next moment. Tell that special someone, you love them. Spread the love and not your weakness.

Thank you for reading........