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Dealing With Abusive/Toxic Parents

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Written by   135
3 months ago (Last updated: 2 months ago)

Hello loved ones, how are you all doing? Hope the crypto winter hasn't weaken your skills of writing articles on this amazing site. I just noticed a lot of people are complaining bitterly about rusty abandoning them. I feel their disappointment but I want to assure them it's only for a while. The market is bad, so everyone even rusty is trying to manage his t!ps too. Chuckles! That's a silly joke I just made, my bad. Let's all hope things will get better soon. This not my main reason for writing this article but only wanted to cheer us up.

Still pondering over the last article I posted concerning suicide, have come to conclusion abusive and toxic parents could as be a cause for suicide. Have you ever been abused by your parent either physically or emotionally ? How was the experience? How long did such rtreatment continue.

Firstly before we discuss, let's first understand what we mean by abusive/toxic parents, and how we can identify abuse from correction.

Let's not forget the fact that, your birth story will not be complete without them. When I use the word parent, it also includes our relatives and guardians we stay with.

Who Is An Abusive/Toxic Parent ?

I will use two different instances to define my point, Parent A and Parent B, met their daughter with the wrong set of friends, so they try to advice her.

Parent A : Melissa come here, the friends I saw you with are not good people, so I don't want you to associate with them any more.

Melisa : But Dad, they are the only ones I could get along with easily.

Parent A : Oh dear, I know how hard it is , but I don't want to see you with them anymore. Melissa sobs and heads to her room.

Parent B : You good for nothing daughter, come here, those set of friends I saw you with, I don't want to see you associate with them anymore. Lisa : those are the only set of people, I get along with easily.

Without waiting to explain further, parent B beats up the daughter for not taking his instructions.

Please note : Am not saying, it is only fathers that are abusive, have seen instances where the mother is even the toxic one.

From the instances given, who will you say is an abusive parent amongst them? I know we will say both parents are, but judging from their interactions, we could see parent A was only correcting the daughter while parent B beats up the daughter for not heeding to his advice.

Abusive/toxic parents are those type of parent who inflicts pains on their children either physically or emotionally, most times this acts become excessive.

Physical abuse involves beating of the child, inflicting physical pains which could be inform of scars and starvation.

Emotional abuse involves the use of words to attack the child psychologically, it could be in form of body shaming, sexual abuse, hateful speech and repetition of hurtful past event. All this classify a parent as being an abusive/toxic.

Correction Vs Being Abusive/Toxic

Remember the scriptures says ' Spare the rod and spoil the child' this simply means, if you don't correct your child when he/she is at fault, you might end up spoiling the child.

Correction in this context deals with putting your child in the right way without using physical or emotional abuse. You can do this simply by talking and explain in things to your child without necessarily compelling them to take all of your instructions.

While being abusive/toxic simply showcase a parent who inflicts pains either physically or emotional on their wards. Most times these are done out of frustration. I know of a father, who bests up the children at the slightest provocation whenever he gambles and lose.

How Can You Deal With An Abusive Parent

It is against the norms of the society to fight parents whether they are right or wrong. We are mandated to obey and respect them.

Obeying an abusive/toxic parent is hard but we have to. Rather than attack them physically, you are advice to seek the intervention of other members of the family. Finding People they love and listen to is a major advantage.

In cases of sexual abuse, such incidents should be reported to the appropriate authorities and actions should be taken immediately.

Cases of body shaming, embarrassment in public and other forms of abuse should also be dealt with accordingly.

Conclusion

Parents were meant to provide protection, guidance and live for their children, and when they fail to do this, they become a social nuisance. Making their children seek the vitals from other sources such as substance abuse and some times results in them committing suicide. Let's be vigilant.

Lead image and other images : unsplash.com

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Written by   135
3 months ago (Last updated: 2 months ago)
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Comments

True I remember when I was a child my mom uses abusive words to correct...I don't know if she taught I won't listen if she said it the right way

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2 months ago

Toxic and abusive parents are such alarming, their children suffered from their actions and doesn't have any conscience to hurt their own children. They are those type of parents who didn't have any plan before forming a family, they experience such problems and those stress are being transfered to their children by beating them up.

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3 months ago

Which is wrong

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2 months ago

Most people confuse putting people down as correction. There is a clear difference between putting people down and actually correcting them as we have seen in the case of Parent A and B. We are to build people up, help them where necessary. No one can know everything and if we are fortunate to know better, there are ways to make others know what they don't know. It is toxic to drag others down with words because soon physical abuse would follow.

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3 months ago

You are right, Mr. Square. 😊

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3 months ago

Thank you, my friend. 🤗🤗🤗

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3 months ago

😊

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2 months ago

Abusive parents do have a negative effect on the children mentally , there are ways we should talk to children , it's not proper to be too harsh on children , because they might feel you don't love them.

But dealing with a abusive parent can be so hard, I think you have mentioned one of the best way to go about it... and I believe with this.. there will be a change.

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3 months ago

Yes, exposing your child to verbal abuse at a tender age is not the best.

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3 months ago

I grow up with an abusive mother, so I'll do my best not to repeat what she did to me.. there are times the reflection of how she brought me up triggers but I am trying my best to avoid it..I don't want to be a bad mom that my child going to hate when they grow up

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3 months ago

Am so happy you are making the right choice. Revenging on your children will be the worst mistake you will ever make. All the best dear

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3 months ago

It's kinda hard to live in an abusive home but hopefully turns good but ensure you follow their rules because that's the only way to survive such parents

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3 months ago

Most times follow in the rules doesn't put you off their Rader of being bullied

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3 months ago

One that was common in my environment while growing up was the abusive way of training a child, especially physical beating. And the shocking thing is that when children get used to the beating, it'd no longer scare them and the correction the parents are trying to pass to them won't be effective

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3 months ago

Corporal punishment should be seriously frowned at

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3 months ago

Such an eye-opener! This is really happening in someone else's life. As for me, I am lucky to have great parents. And I would love to raise my kids like how my parents raised us, no abusive behaviors.

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3 months ago

So thoughtful of you dear

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3 months ago

❤️❤️❤️

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3 months ago

🥰🥰🥰🥰

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3 months ago

This is a good article to read. As a single mom, I want to raise my child really well and I dont like to continue what my parents did to me when I was young.

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3 months ago

Thats a nice stand you've taken

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3 months ago

Dealing with this kind of parents are difficult but when you look closely why they are acting like that ja because it is what their parents did to them when they were young.

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3 months ago

And that's what makes the cycle of toxic parent remains... Trying to treat your children, the way your parents treated you

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3 months ago

I'm sorry you experienced this toxic behavior from duch kind of respectful personalities. As for me, I'm glad I'm lucky to have kind parents who never even slapped me once in my whole life, feelings are emotional for you. ❤️ Be blessed dear wrinkle

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3 months ago

I didn't experience it dear

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3 months ago

Parenting shapes the personality of the children that's why parents should avoid toxic behavior.

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3 months ago

Yeah..you have a point

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3 months ago

As a son i have to follow my parents. Yesterday i want to go with my friends for outing and i tell my dad that i am going alone. Unfortunately, my dad see me going with friends he called me on the way and ask to go back home. When i reached home, he asked me why you tell a lie and i have advised you to leave these friends after that i go to my room and feel very bad.

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3 months ago

Maybe your father has seen your friends are not nice people, and am happy you didnt protest

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3 months ago

I just noded my head down and went to my room. May be my friends are not nice people but they are sincere with and that's okay. I can teach them right.

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3 months ago

So sorry about that, but maybe your father wants you to choose the right friends

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3 months ago

Young people niw a days are more driven by their emotions than critical thinking .. And that's what parents don't notice sometimes .. For them it's just a small thing but in reality it is very painful for the child

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3 months ago

You have a point there..

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3 months ago

Sister we should give respect to the parents as we expect from them. Secondly we need to understand about their likes and dislikes and make them aware about our feelings too. Lisa can be wrong all the time parents can't be wrong.

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3 months ago

Parents could also be wrong my dear

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3 months ago