Dealing With Abusive/Toxic Parents

Hello loved ones, how are you all doing? Hope the crypto winter hasn't weaken your skills of writing articles on this amazing site. I just noticed a lot of people are complaining bitterly about rusty abandoning them. I feel their disappointment but I want to assure them it's only for a while. The market is bad, so everyone even rusty is trying to manage his t!ps too. Chuckles! That's a silly joke I just made, my bad. Let's all hope things will get better soon. This not my main reason for writing this article but only wanted to cheer us up.

Still pondering over the last article I posted concerning suicide, have come to conclusion abusive and toxic parents could as be a cause for suicide. Have you ever been abused by your parent either physically or emotionally ? How was the experience? How long did such rtreatment continue.

Firstly before we discuss, let's first understand what we mean by abusive/toxic parents, and how we can identify abuse from correction.

Let's not forget the fact that, your birth story will not be complete without them. When I use the word parent, it also includes our relatives and guardians we stay with.

Who Is An Abusive/Toxic Parent ?

I will use two different instances to define my point, Parent A and Parent B, met their daughter with the wrong set of friends, so they try to advice her.

Parent A : Melissa come here, the friends I saw you with are not good people, so I don't want you to associate with them any more.

Melisa : But Dad, they are the only ones I could get along with easily.

Parent A : Oh dear, I know how hard it is , but I don't want to see you with them anymore. Melissa sobs and heads to her room.

Parent B : You good for nothing daughter, come here, those set of friends I saw you with, I don't want to see you associate with them anymore. Lisa : those are the only set of people, I get along with easily.

Without waiting to explain further, parent B beats up the daughter for not taking his instructions.

Please note : Am not saying, it is only fathers that are abusive, have seen instances where the mother is even the toxic one.

From the instances given, who will you say is an abusive parent amongst them? I know we will say both parents are, but judging from their interactions, we could see parent A was only correcting the daughter while parent B beats up the daughter for not heeding to his advice.

Abusive/toxic parents are those type of parent who inflicts pains on their children either physically or emotionally, most times this acts become excessive.

Physical abuse involves beating of the child, inflicting physical pains which could be inform of scars and starvation.

Emotional abuse involves the use of words to attack the child psychologically, it could be in form of body shaming, sexual abuse, hateful speech and repetition of hurtful past event. All this classify a parent as being an abusive/toxic.

Correction Vs Being Abusive/Toxic

Remember the scriptures says ' Spare the rod and spoil the child' this simply means, if you don't correct your child when he/she is at fault, you might end up spoiling the child.

Correction in this context deals with putting your child in the right way without using physical or emotional abuse. You can do this simply by talking and explain in things to your child without necessarily compelling them to take all of your instructions.

While being abusive/toxic simply showcase a parent who inflicts pains either physically or emotional on their wards. Most times these are done out of frustration. I know of a father, who bests up the children at the slightest provocation whenever he gambles and lose.

How Can You Deal With An Abusive Parent

It is against the norms of the society to fight parents whether they are right or wrong. We are mandated to obey and respect them.

Obeying an abusive/toxic parent is hard but we have to. Rather than attack them physically, you are advice to seek the intervention of other members of the family. Finding People they love and listen to is a major advantage.

In cases of sexual abuse, such incidents should be reported to the appropriate authorities and actions should be taken immediately.

Cases of body shaming, embarrassment in public and other forms of abuse should also be dealt with accordingly.

Conclusion

Parents were meant to provide protection, guidance and live for their children, and when they fail to do this, they become a social nuisance. Making their children seek the vitals from other sources such as substance abuse and some times results in them committing suicide. Let's be vigilant.

Lead image and other images : unsplash.com