Woman's worth

"Everything you see isn't always what it seems. I believe what I saw, I was blind"

There are certain points in life when love overwhelmed us, and we can no longer see the wrong side of life because we feel like we are in a fairytale, who wonders a happy ending story.

I was watching Toni's Vlogs and I have dropped by with her interview with Zeinab Harake, even though I'm not a fan of her, I can feel her sentiments against her partner. I will not narrate everything that happens to her, but I would like to point out some important words that she has learned in her life. As a woman, I can feel her emotions and the heaviness within her. This is all about being a woman, our worth, and our value as a person.

Here are some words that she said:

1. Women's body change in time

"I was no longer her Zeinab in the past".

I choose to be a wife.

I chose to be a mother.

That's why I look like this.

This is such a very emotional statement for me personally because I had a great change when I became a mom, physically. I also experienced insecurity just like what happened to Zebby, but in time I've learned to value myself as well.

With regards to Zeb, she said that her partner once said, it's one of the reasons why their relationship has become vague.

The first point that I would like to be given attention, is about our physical transformation. As a woman, our body changed when we gave birth, there's a possibility that our body before will not be the same as it is today. There are lots of probable reasons, like taking care of the baby all the time, and we can't spend enough moment for ourselves especially when we became excessively occupied doing household chores. Considering all of these transitions that the majority of women have encountered, are we deserve to be left behind? Is this a valid reason that a man will find another woman, absolutely not? If a partner is committed to his relationship for better or for the worst, he will always be there.

As a wife, my body has changed a lot, it's not the same as I am before, and all wives who are already delivered their baby, have the same situation. That's why we will now come to the point of giving value to ourselves and doing self-care.

I am glad to recognize husbands who embraced their wife's changes in physical aspects, in reality, it's very painful to know that a husband finds another girl because of this kind of reason.

1. Set boundary for yourself

A woman sometimes comes to the point in her life where she finds out her partner has cheated many times not just once or twice, but still, she's always forgiving him. Until she finds herself (" malaking tanga"), so blinded. She gave her all, she gave her everything, but in the end, she was despised.

That's why Toni advised her to set boundaries for herself.

Knowing your boundaries as a woman is very important, if we have already recognized how abusive and toxic our relationship is, we shouldn't just close our eyes. Instead, we should stand for our worth, and rights as a woman. We shouldn't let ourselves(na tapak-tapakan lang, yong alam mong nababastos ka na), be disgraced by a toxic relationship. As a woman, we don't deserve to be treated like a dirty rug, we should learn to set boundaries for our self-worth.

3."Don't love too deeply, until you find that person loves you with the same depth because the depth of your love today is the depth of your wound tomorrow".

This quote shows the reality, that it's hard to love too much but you weren't given the same love. Even if we say, that what matters is that we love, even if we are not reciprocated, for real, it hurts us too much when we are not loved by our partners the way we love them. It's very practical, don't settle if you know it's unsure.

4."Everything you see isn't always what it seems, I believe what I saw, I was blinded"-Zeinab

When we love we should let our eyes open, with the truth, we should not allow ourselves to be blinded by a half-hearted kind of love, we should learn to discern if that kind of love is still worth fighting for. That woman Zebby has experienced a very traumatic kind of relationship, which results in her anxiety and unhealthy mental health. She's still fighting for it, today, and it's not only her, there are a lot more women in the world who have the same kind of experienced.

As for me, as a woman, I can feel her pain, and her fears and I sympathize with her for she's a woman like me. Being a wife and a mother wasn't easy, as of today I have one layer belly, but before I don't have it, today I look like a nanny, before I look like a lady, and sometimes I couldn't comb my hair in the morning, because I need to cooked food for my family too early. That's why it's not acceptable that a wife/woman/mother is despised just because she has changed physically, we are a woman worthy of value, we are wives served as a light in the home, and we are mothers, who just loved our family, so my dearest woman in this generation, "You're a woman, you are important", "Babae ka at ika'y mahalaga."

Thanks for reading everyone, co-writers, and my sponsors, until here.

Just kindly drop your comments below.

Long live!