@Winx1988 22 August 2021 edited more from that month

Are we obliged to support our Parents or Relatives?

Why I came up to this topic?After reading @Marinov article makes me my past experience.Maybe a lot of us can relate with this, especially when you are already finish your studies but still remain jobless.This topic maybe so broad but I just give my own opinion about this situation.This is a two issue, supporting our parents and our relatives,i hope to give justice this topic,I just write what I think, hehe. There are some instances that a child is obligated to support depending on the situation of his/her parents, or do we really need to obliged them. In my case,I graduated as an honor student since elementary, and highschool, but I didn't finish a degree course in college.My parents and siblings expect me to acquire a good job, and one day I'll be able to help them especially with financial matters.But after I finish my second year ,I got married and always stay at home because I have kids.Most of the time when my classmate, friends see me they will always say," where did I worked?"And I'm often speechless, even my mother would tell me to apply a job with a certain office works but I refuse.Maybe I just come to the point that I became tired of answering question repeatedly ask, "What is your work?" One day, my brother was in school and his teacher called him to answer the question.And it's about having work after finishing school , their teacher told them that they should take seriously their studies so that they can have a bright future.But my brother said,"My sister mam is good in school but she doesn't have work.When I heard this, I feel a shame to myself,i just thought that I will always stay at home so that they won't see my angry face.I've guilty with this for many years.Another scenario,when one of my friend,who's younger than me, have talk to her mother because she was pregnant while schooling , she answered her mother whose got angry"si ate weng nga eh, magaling sa school pero walang trabaho". I said to myself, why do they blamed me when they commit mistake?I think they really have a high expectations about me,it's really my burden for many years. My parents are still active and able to do their work nowadays with farming.No one supports except themselves .Im thinking why do I felt pressure on me while my elder brothers was not treated like that.It was my dream to help them but I really can't do this right now. Some says that it's a part of Filipino culture, to send their children to school so that one day they can help their parents.Its not really bad idea,but if the issue is supporting parents, it should not be obligated all the time.But if your parents is a widow you should support her because she might be having a hard time everyday. **Some cases that children must** be obliged. *When parents is unable. *When their no one to help them except her child. As I have observe there are some young adults today didn't get married because they have focused with nurturing their parents and siblings especially when they are old aged that need extra care.I never see something wrong with for as long we did it with love,I think it's just a matter of choice if we choose to support them all the way. **Just happened recently** One of our church mate today, he had been called by her girlfriends parents, because her girlfriend is pregnant, while the mother of the boy cried a lot today, because she said that they spend a lot of money just to send their son to school until he graduated and finally become a policeman.They can't accept that this happened but they can't do nothing about it.They are worried how they gonna pay their debts after their son have finished school. It gives too much pressure with their son because he may think that he disappoint his parents.And I just keep silent because I don't think that I need to speak about it. This circumstance keeps on repeating all over again with other young teens nowadays , in my own view, we have to deal with it, it unpredictable, sooner or later they can recover , though they have to undergo some resentments nowadays.It was not an easy thing. In some aspects,it's also a Filipino culture as i said earlier to send their kids to school so that someday they will just sit while their children support them,I know someone like that.Im just get mad with some parents in our place who make me as an example when their kids got failed in their school, and it seems that they blame me for setting an example with what I did in my life.Its often makes me cry.It seems that I only didn't disappoint my parents but the whole barangay because they know me as an excellent student academically.Im just like a walking dead before when i pass the main road of our place.I sometimes blame myself, or thinking to wish that I will be a nowhere. At the end of the day,I will choose to be happy, what I did in my life is what gives me happiness ,I may not rich today or even earn big, but I know that my parents today are happy unlike before when I decide to get married. This is too heavy issue for me , and my husband also felt my burden even today. My thoughts with my experience I know that it happens to the many of us, not just me, but to anyone.Its just the reality that we didn't know what will happened with the next days of our life.In my case, it takes many years to let go of my burden until now, there's a pressure when it comes to supporting my parents. I still don't have work,( as in proper ), and my husband earns just enough for us. But I'm thankful that my parents still have the strength to work on their own. **This is my experienced when my husbands relative have supported us** **"Learn to catch fish**" Three years ago, we live in my husband's place where we became a caretaker of a farm. But we didn't have sustainable income, they will give us weekly 1,000 pesos and 10 kilos of rice. Its so hard for me to budget this amount of money for the whole with two kids needs to go to school, and( I still have maintenance for my illness before) to buy every week that cost 300 pesos, and all the basic needs in the house including gasoline, electric bill and water, and medicines. One day, my son was hospitalized and we didn't have savings because we don't have any side job or any livestock to sell. I experienced living in a day without even a peso in my wallet and no food to feed my child. I cried a lot, it seems that we are paralyzed and can't do anything. That's why I think of myself, "that they should not treat us like this, they supported us with 1K per week and it's making our life so hard because my husband didn't find any work, but he focused on the farm, which we don't have any share with the harvested crops. I'm always thinking of escaping that place, so I return to my parents home place. I put up my small store in my house and other selling small business to support my kids, I find myself that I'm free to do what I want until my husband has followed us and live with our children. I know that what they did is with good intentions, but I observed that it's just making our life worst, we didn't learn to earn on our ways, we just wait when they give. That's why, I realized it's true **that "instead** **of** **always** **giving** **fish**, **they** **should** **learn** **to** **catch** **fish**."I agree with these words, because as we learn to earn money on our own, the more we become resourceful and learn to establish a sustainable life if we always accept what others will give it makes us to the point of having no idea what to **do, "Hindi na kami dumidiskarte para Mabuhay naghihintay na lang naghihintay ng bigay, for three years it happened to us".** Maybe this article would take a whole to narrate my views about this issue, it's endless. My opinion As a parent, I should not give pressure on my children with supporting us in the future, this is one thing that I want to teach them. As much as possible, we should have savings for the future when we are unable to have worked, so it matters that we have SSS or any insurances to secure our old ages. My message For the young teens out there whose still studying, just do your best if you have the opportunity to finish school, grab it. I don't know what's your parents thinking about this issue, but if in case we have the same struggle, just take it slowly, everything happens for a reason as always. That's why I like the song, " exchange of hearts" because in this way we will know how they feel and so that they know what we feel. I decided not to stay with bitterness in my life, that's why I released myself from this. Though the struggle is on, I learned to understand them and my feelings so that I will not be drowned by them. I know that parents will be happy if we support them but in my opinion, parents should also be happy if we learn to stand on our own feet and not relying on them always. I think it's just a matter of respect, even if they treated me like that, I understand them and still love them. Just want to share this;

At the end of the day,It's your choice to do so, no pressure. Thank you. I like to read your comments below if you like to, maybe this article is not properly written, hehe I've made it this morning and need to cooked now it's already 11 am, August 22,2021. Hi,thanks your here.