Hello everyone how are you all doing. Hope you are all doing great.
The inspiration behind this article today is from the fact that my formal account was spammed by someone I don't even know.
Firstly I want to thank my two formal sponsors @Greatwolfman and @Mictorrani they have been more than a family to me here. I never expected how they supported me and I'm still surprise until now that they care so much for me, the care I never had. I feel like crying right now but had to hold the tears. I really thank and appreciate you both for🙏 for having my back. It really means alot to me because I'm not used to someone caring so much for me like this because I have never been lucky until I met you both on this platform. Thanks so much.
***********************************The rule says "you can't offend or harm someone without knowing the person". So I didn't see the spamming of my formal account here @Olawale4967 as a mistake but an intentional action by someone I don't even know. No one will ever feel good working hard so much just to find out that someone is secretly destroying your hardwork. I just can't believe there are people who would hate another person so much to attack them through their hardwork but it's not new to me because I have always live my life watching my shoulders or my back, so I have already learn and grow the hard way so no matter what anyone does to me can never surprise me anymore. The motivation is to never give up which applies to the proverb that says "when you are knocked down, learn how to get back up. And I was never the type to give up easily without trying.
Back to the reason for this article;
**********************************It doesn’t matter how you choose to live your life — whether you build a business or work a corporate job; have children or choose not to have children; travel the world or live in the same town all of your life; go to the gym 5 times a week or sit on the couch every night — whatever you do, someone will judge you for it. There will always be haters and difficult people.
For one reason or another, someone will find a reason to project their insecurities, their negativity, and their fears onto you and your life, and you’ll have to deal with it.
With that in mind, let’s talk about being judged and criticized. And just for fun, I’ll share some of the most hateful comments I’ve received on my articles. And more importantly, the strategies I use to deal with them.
Here’s what I’ve learned about dealing with haters and the people who judge you, your work, and your goals.
The Biggest Critic in Your Life
It’s easier to complain about the outside critics, but the biggest critic in your life usually lives between your own two ears. Working up the courage to move past your own vulnerability and uncertainty is often the greatest challenge you’ll face on the way to achieving your goals.
When I started my first business, it wasn’t the criticism from outsiders that held me back. It was my own mind worrying that people would think I was a loser because I skipped getting a “real job” to “start some website.” I didn’t tell most of my friends about what I was doing for almost a year because I was so worried about what they would think about it.
When I started writing, it wasn’t the hurtful comments from readers that prevented me from getting started. It was my own fears about what they would think if I wrote about the things I cared about. I wrote my ideas in a private document for months before I worked up the courage to start sharing them publicly.
Those are just two examples of the types of internal fears and criticism that so often prevent us from getting started on our goals. It can take a lifetime to learn that just because people criticize you doesn’t mean they really care about your choice to do something different. Usually, the haters simply criticize and move on. And that means that you can safely ignore them and continue doing your thing.
But that is easier said than done because we all like to be validated. Some people like it more than others, but everyone wants to be respected and appreciated to some degree. I certainly do. I know that whenever I choose to take a risk and share my work with the world, I wonder about what my friends will think, what my family will think, and how the people around me will see me because of that choice. Will this help my reputation? Will this hurt my reputation? Should I even be worrying about my reputation?
Especially with writing, these questions created an internal struggle for me.
On one hand, I believed in myself and I knew that I wanted to contribute something to the world around me. But on the other hand, I was scared that people wouldn’t approve of my work and would criticize me when I started sharing the things I cared about or believed.
Focus on the Road, Not the Wall
Many racing experts consider Mario Andretti to be the most successful and versatile racing driver of all-time. During his career, Andretti won the Indianapolis 500, Daytona 500, Formula One World Championship and the Pike’s Peak International Hill Climb. He is one of only two drivers in history to win races in Formula One, IndyCar, World Sportscar Championship, and NASCAR.
During an interview with SUCCESS magazine, Andretti was asked for his number one tip for success in race car driving. He said, “Don’t look at the wall. Your car goes where your eyes go.”
When young drivers are starting to race, this is one of the most critical lessons that they learn. When you’re driving at 200mph you need to focus on the road in front of you. If you look at the wall, then you’ll end up hitting it.
The same could be said for your life, your work, and dealing with haters and critics.
Criticism and negativity from difficult people is like a wall. And if you focus on it, then you’ll run right into it. You’ll get blocked by negative emotions, anger, and self-doubt. Your mind will go where your attention is focused. Criticism and negativity don’t prevent you from reaching the finish line, but they can certainly distract you from it.
However, if you focus on the road in front of you and on moving forward, then you can safely speed past the walls and barriers that are nearby.
This is my preferred approach to criticism. When someone dishes out a negative comment, use that as a signal to recommit to your work and to refocus on the road ahead of you. Some people are determined to take things personally and tear down the work of others. Your life is too short to worry about pleasing those difficult people.
Focus on the road, not the wall.
How to Respond to Haters
In rare circumstances, you may want to respond to the people who dish criticism your way. If that’s the case, then I think Gary Vaynerchuk provides a good example of how to do it.
When Vaynerchuk published his best-selling book Crush It, he received dozens of 1-star and 2-star reviews on Amazon. Negative reviewers claimed that the book was “absolutely awful” and called it a “piece of crap with no value whatsoever.”
And this was for a book that was a best-seller!
Rather than fight back and justify his work, Gary decided to respond to many of the negative reviews with a sincere apology. For example, a reader named Frank left a 1-star review for the book in which he complained, “How did this book ever get published?”
Vaynerchuk responded to him by saying…
"Frank I am so so sorry I under delivered for you, I hope to meet u and spend 15 minutes apologizing and answering any questions u may have, I guess I needed more details in there for u, I am so sorry".
Despite using grammar from a high school text message, Vaynerchuk ended up getting Frank’s number and called him to talk things over.
After their conversation, Frank wrote a followup comment on his book review saying, “If Amazon had a people ranking system, I’d have to give Gary 5 stars. One can not help being impressed by someone who gets back to you so quickly and handles criticism so graciously.”
If you’re going to respond to your haters and critics, then getting a response like that should be your goal. Rather than beating the haters back with insults, win them back with sincerity. Most people don’t want to be convinced that your work is wonderful, they just want to know that you care.
I have learned from so many experiences in my life. Nobody will believe I am still in my 20s but the experience I have had in my life is worth to be a 70years old judging by age. It has never been easy as a lone wolf from the start until now which is why people's action don't surprise me anymore be I have learned the hard way and fully prepared for the journey I am destined to embark on in this life. The reason why I wrote this article is not to call out the person that spammed my account but to learn from it and improve myself because I learn from everything both failure and success which is the reason why I don't celebrate success which so much physical appearance or even failure too. All I do is just smile and celebrate inside me and also thinking of things I learned from it at the same time. Life for me is a journey that you have to keep embarking on until you die so I always believed that there are still more work to do even when I celebrate my success or mourn my failures.
Where to Go From Here
I’ve said this many times before, but it bears repeating: I don’t really have anything figured out. I’m not an expert and I don’t have all the answers. I’m still learning to deal with criticism like everyone else.
But in my limited experiences, here’s what I can summarize about dealing with difficult people and haters.
First and foremost, don’t be the hater. Don’t be the person who tears down someone else’s hard work. The world needs more people who contribute their gifts and share their work and ideas. Working up the courage to do that can be tough. Support the people who display that courage.
If you’re dealing with criticism, then don’t let the wall keep you from seeing the road. Focus on the path ahead. Another way I heard it put recently, “Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.”
If you choose to respond to the haters, then surprise them with kindness. You might just win a new fan while you’re at it.
Finally, and most importantly, make the choices that are right for you. People will criticize you either way.
Thanks for reading 🤗
Hope to see you next time.
That's a good spirit. Just smile and make your haters wonder hehe. Thank you for your reminders. I always try not to be a hater :)