Fall in love? It's easy. Stay in love? Not always… Pay attention to a short course in love reality!
To make a list of the most important tips, we analyzed the thoughts of top psychologists, therapists, researchers, and experts in love mediation and thus learned the secrets of the harmonious functioning of these complicated, but so wonderful male-female relationships. Experts single out five main phases of love, each of which is characterized by very characteristic dilemmas. We isolated the most useful answers - a total of 50! Because, even if you're not quite sure where your relationship is going, wouldn't you definitely like to enjoy that journey into the unknown?
9 things you don't do on Facebook when you're in a relationship!
In lust
1 It is best not to sleep with a guy on the first date if you want some future with him. Yes, many relationships start that way, but there is a risk that it will put you in the category of overnight schemes.
2 Do not pretend that you are interested in his hobbies, because the truth will certainly come to light in the end.
3 When a guy tells you he doesn't want a serious relationship, tell a friend or write it down. It will force you to accept the fact that he thinks so… Because it really is so.
4 Enjoy the present moments when going out. This means that you should not talk to him about the future or question whether he is the right one - until the fourth meeting. For about the first month or so, all you need to do is have a good time.
5 In bed, focus on your own pleasure. If you concentrate too much on showing all your skills and abilities, you forget to enjoy (and thus deprive him of the opportunity to enjoy watching him throw you into ecstasy).
6 Listen to what his friends and family say about him. Incidental comments ("Before you, no one managed to stay faithful!") Best reveal to you what he really is. So pay attention!
7 When doing something together, whenever possible stand or sit sideways next to it. Men thus usually feel more relaxed and intimate than when you are face to face with each other.
8 In the first two or three months of dating, spend the same - if not more - time with friends. Guys often rush into a relationship, and then suddenly cry out "This is going too fast!". You have to "squeeze the brake".
9 For at least the first three months, until you decide to enter into a more serious relationship, keep all your options open. It takes you at least 90 days to really get to know him at all.
Get in touch
10 It’s not your boyfriend until he starts calling you his girlfriend in public or until you both agree it’s an exclusive relationship. End of story.
11 If something in his lifestyle bothers you, say so before you get really angry. If you don't tell him you don't mind having too much of a hectic nightlife, you'll end up getting upset and exploding - which is not a wise method of communication.
12 Let him be the first to show you, love. Generally speaking, men need more time to "process" feelings and verbalize them. If you express yourself first, you may feel "cornered."
13 If you need to define-what-we-are-in-a-conversation, initiate it during the walk. Relaxing activities lower the level of the stress hormone, which usually increases when he is forced to talk about his feelings.
14 Make friends with happy couples. It will be easier for them to accept the possibility of a serious relationship if they see that they are having a good time.
15 If you want to marry him, wait with life together until you are engaged first. Otherwise, he will not feel motivated enough to take that next step.
16 Living together during an engagement is a wise move because you discover many challenges that are best solved before marriage.
17 Only give him an ultimatum to enter more serious waters if you are really ready to turn around and leave. Resolutely set him a deadline to declare himself.
18 You can't force a guy to cut all ties with the past… But explain to him why he hurts you if he sees an ex or a friend who gets mad at him. If he really cares about you, he will respect your feelings or logically explain to you why he is not breaking off contact.
19 If he promises that you will be engaged as soon as he achieves his goal, let's say he finishes college, give him a joke. But don't wait too long for him to translate words into deeds.
The first problems arise
20 Learn to look at things from both angles - and his own perspective. Try to respect his views, so it is more likely that he will respect yours as well.
21 Pack a complaint between compliments: “I know I can't do these meetings without you, but I'd like you to let me know if you're not coming to dinner because of a business meeting. I enjoy spending the evening together and I want to know if and when we will. "
22 Use humor to persuade him to share. Point your finger at a pile of dirty and damp towels and say "Nothing better than coming home to your sweet smell of mold!"
23 Know that his political views, opinions, and beliefs, as well as attitudes towards money, can vary over time. What will probably not change are the basic values he adheres to, his attitude towards monogamy, and religious beliefs.
24 Don't leave things unsaid - if you want a specific birthday present or to go out to a certain restaurant, tell him that. Men do not understand subtle hints.
25 If you discover something ugly about his past, such as that he cheated on his ex-girlfriend, ask him why he did it. He should repent and swear that he will not do it again.
26 If you feel terribly upset during a discussion, take a break. Stress hormones easily overwhelm the male body, so they instinctively want to escape.
27 Watch what you say in moments of anger. Cruel or derogatory comments will often be forgiven, but not for-stay.
28 Do not criticize his attempts to apologize in his own way. Men apologize for their actions, so even though you won't hear the desired word, it will be clear to you what he wants to say to you by taking you out to dinner after an argument or massaging your back.
You enter the "safety zone"
29 One thing in common for all happy couples: they have fun together. Competitive games (billiards or basketball) are recommended because they increase the level of adrenaline, which contributes to strengthening intimacy.
30 Don't let him see you peeing, plucking your eyebrows, or waxing your groin. Don’t kill the romance.
31 To keep some mystery, keep some secret to yourself. For example: how many did you have before him, what happened on that date with your friends, that you once experienced threesome sex a long time ago…
32 Don't forget the kisses. Just 10 seconds of kissing without any special reason contribute to more exciting sex, even hours later.
33… and no hugs. There is less oxytocin in the male body, a substance that causes a feeling of intimacy, but frequent touching can increase its secretion.
34 If your body has changed over time, do not draw its attention to it! Men rarely notice details like cellulite and more relaxed skin.
35 As he sits on the couch, "jump" on him instead of next to him. Sexy dynamics require a little effort, but it is the right way to maintain a good relationship.
36 Things like a kiss on the cheek, sex of reconciliation, or a declaration of love will help you repair relationships after an argument and maintain a strong relationship.
37 Do not engage in sex in a bad mood, just do not insult him or for similar reasons. Most women need 30 minutes of relaxation to mentally prepare for sexual intimacy.
38 Break the sexual monotony by isolating yourself from everything (all weekend in bed) and clinging to one single goal without any external distractions: sex.
39 Don't cool your friends and don't break all ties with the world to spend 24 hours a day with your loved one. One person cannot be responsible for your happiness.
40 Be unpredictable. Guys want to change, but there's no need to look around for it. As you leaf through the newspaper, state, "You know, I've always wanted to make love on the stairs," and then nonchalantly return to reading the latest news.
You are planning a common future
41 If you are not one hundred percent sure if you want to spend your life with him, ask yourself: do I spend so much time maintaining a relationship that I have neglected my life goals? If we broke up right now, could I live without him? If you answer No, stay where you are for another six months, then ask yourself the same questions again and you will know the right answer.
42 However, love does not overcome everything. Some disagreements just won’t go away, no matter how much you love each other.
43 At some point you will both wonder if you will be able to remain faithful forever. Keep those re-examinations to yourself and don’t take offense if he has the same dilemmas.
44 Thank him for the little signs of attention (for example, when he fills your tank or is kind to your withdrawn friend). If he knows how to appreciate his work, he will continue to do so in the future.
45 A little harmless jealousy sustains the flame of passion. Occasionally tell him with a smile how you freaked out a suitor.
46 Be realistic about sex: 5 to 15 percent of sexual intercourse in healthy relationships is unsatisfactory or dysfunctional (one of you does not cum or the foreplay is skipped or too fast). If you do not exceed the stated percentages, there is no need to get upset.
47 If you really "slip" and cheat on him, think twice before you admit it. Sometimes honesty can do more harm than good.
48 Do not compare your relationship with others. All couples - even the seemingly perfect ones - have problems.
49 Life is long. If now is not the time for you, take a break. That doesn’t mean you won’t be together again at some point.
50 But life is also short. Make sure you laugh together a lot and often. The rest will come by itself.
You must have had that special person at least once in your life, who didn't really care much for you. Despite that, you, as enchanted people, rushed only to hug her and came back to her again in the hope that "everything will be okay this time"…
They don't need to go back. Here's why.
You have already stumbled upon this person countless times. Be sure to fall again.
You soften and cheer when you see that person calling you. You can’t wait to meet her or him. However, know that you are looking at her with one eye, and she will be looking at you forever with the other.
You have the impression that this person is not quite present when sitting with you. She is not as close to you as you would like. She will never be.
She can tell you that you are beautiful, good, smart and you will believe in that, but… You will never be enough for her. You just aren’t what she wants.
Part of your personality "suffers" even from the pain that a person inflicted on you. You are spinning in a vicious circle.
"Maybe this time it will be different" - you know it won't, but it's easier for you to live with yourself if you believe that sentence.
You yourself are aware of the difference between the one who considers you an "opportunity" and the one who considers you an "option". Here is an option.
Basically, at the end of stories like this, the reason should win. But until that happens, it takes time… And during that time you will be hurt, belittled, humiliated a thousand times. How long will it take you to realize that there is no hope for that love?
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we keep coming back to such people? It's as if we can't learn anything from our own experience. As if all this is stronger than us…
Maybe we just need more time to mature emotionally and finally raise our head, look that person in the eye, and say out loud, "No, there's nothing here for me anymore."
DOUBT AND JEALOUSY: Restrain yourself so that your relationship does not fail
the mind of a partner's fidelity is fatal to love. If you are prone to jealousy, you must learn how to control your fears and overcome mistrust towards your man. You first need to discover what is at the root of the uncontrollable anger that overwhelms you every time you think your loved one is unfaithful or doesn’t love you.
Every relationship carries with it a certain amount of risk - you can never play it safe when it comes to love. This means that you must learn to believe in your decisions, but also your partner. You need to be sure that you will be loved and that you will be strong enough to solve the problems that come your way.
ACCEPT YOUR DEFECTS
Insecurity is the basis for jealousy. A person who loves and respects himself, but, on the other hand, understands and notices his shortcomings, will not have problems with jealousy.
Talk about your doubts with your partner, and then find a solution together.
FORGET THE BAD EXPERIENCE
If you have suffered for love in the past, it does not mean that you will be unhappy in the future. Of course, if you are attracted to a certain type of man who consciously or unconsciously constantly hurts you, then it is time to change the target group.
However, you mustn't live in the past. Forget about bad things, no matter how hard it is.
DO NOT COMPARE WITH OTHERS
Comparing with others is one of the most common mistakes made by women. People are indeed competitive by nature, but if you constantly think that others are better and easier, you will be constantly dissatisfied with your life.
Love yourself and be sure that someone envies you too. Let that be your consolation.
BE WHAT YOU ARE
If you constantly try to behave in a way that everyone likes, you will lose your own soul. Be what you are. There is no need to pretend because you will feel bad about it.
People who think negatively about themselves are prone to jealousy, which unconsciously asks their partner to confirm it to them.
CONSTANT MISTRUST IS DEADLY
Your loved one will likely cheat on you or leave you if you check on him non-stop. Distrust will only turn people away from you.
It is healthy to have a certain dose of the reserve because that will prepare you psychologically for possible disappointments, but without constantly thinking about whether someone will cheat on you or not, it is disastrous for the relationship.
Who is more jealous
Men and women are equally jealous, but they express their feelings differently. Men are more inclined to deny jealousy, but when they express it then they are more brutal. Women are quicker to admit jealousy, do not hide it, and react. They are also more often clients of private detectives, wanting to find out if they are right. On the other hand, women are also greater victims of jealousy.
HOROSCOPE: These 4 signs break all records in seduction! Are you among them?
No one is not amused by the charms of sweet, innocent flirtation. However, for some, this skill is very good, and the horoscope says that in addition to character, this desirable ability is greatly influenced by the sign. These four Astro signs break all records in seduction.
Lion
They win without equal, subtly, and with a lot of imagination. He will approach you full of confidence, with irresistible charm and a smile that will light up the whole room. Lions are "city faces", they know all the important people and you certainly can't be bored. You will really have a royal treatment with them, and as they are known as great gentlemen, they will get extra points with their beautiful and somewhat forgotten manners.
Members of this zodiac sign do not like to lose and always go for the win. For them, seduction is more than just gymnastics, they enjoy every step of conquest, and even intrigue them when they have to work a little harder around someone. Lions are also passionate lovers, so rest assured that the ride with them will be complete.
Scorpio
When Scorpio enters the room, everyone simply notices it. Her penetratingly cheeky gaze conquers even without touch, and when she chooses prey, she conquers it in a couple of hours at most. Sprays are especially good at non-verbal communication and often use it while "carefully" listening about your career. You didn't even become aware that Skropija chose you as a future partner at the beginning of the evening, and you already found yourself in her embrace. They are perverted in bed and enjoy making love for hours, and usually wear seductive and expensive underwear.
Gemini
They have an interesting friendly approach, which, in fact, almost always ends the job. Witty, very charming, but also educated, Gemini is so much fun that you could spend hours chatting with them. They have an irresistible charisma with which they simply attract people around them, they are very positive and polite and you will never be uncomfortable with them.
Cancer
Full of compassion, understanding, and love for you at all times. They have an infinitely big heart in which all your fears, downfalls, successes, and desires of the future can fit. Along with Cancer, you will also have a best friend to whom you will be able to confide any secret. Friendships often make wonderful loves, so think about the next time you go out for coffee with your "best friend." With Cancer, your self-confidence will increase, and sex will take on a whole new dimension.
Fantastic article by you my friend