Everything was in perfect order. You were happy next to the person you love and who loves you and you couldn’t even imagine that at some point you would continue living without your loved one. All those plans for a common future, all the dreams that didn't have time to come true… all that is now left behind without a chance to become your reality.
The breakup happens for many reasons - due to deception, lies, loss of trust, feelings of rejection or simply extinguishing the feelings of one or both parties. But, regardless of the reason and regardless of whether you were the initiator of the breakup or you were left, your primary emotion is pain. Countless questions run through your head about how and why this happened. Even if your feelings have been extinguished or that you do not love that person as before, the habit remains, and it is generally known how difficult it can be to get rid of any habit.
Some people get depressed after a breakup. Sadness and regret become the dominant emotions in such cases, and the person often becomes antisocial and listless. Such people often lose touch with reality because they refuse to accept the truth that they are no longer in a relationship.
Unlike people who are prone to depression, some people do not give themselves enough time to recover from the breakup and unsuccessfully enter from relationship to relationship, to fill the gap in the heart they feel after the departure of the person they loved.
Some are inclined to take the blame on themselves, so they are relentlessly trying to understand where they went wrong and how to correct it, hoping that their ex-partner will return.
Some think that they will feel better if they transfer all the responsibility and guilt to their partner, thus replacing all their suppressed sadness and disappointment with anger, rage, and frustration. The person who until recently was the center of their world and with whom they shared everything becomes a person who is talked about badly and wishes them all the worst.
We have all experienced at some point how painful a breakup can be. No matter what group of people you belong to, no matter how much a person has hurt you and may have deserved not to be remembered anymore, you need to accept the fact that your feelings cannot disappear overnight. What necessarily follows is a period of recovery and by no means deprive yourself of it.
Not every break has to be painful. Allow yourself to overcome this unpleasant experience, to learn from it and breathe again with full lungs, and to be open to new love without fear of being hurt.
If you follow and apply the tips I have written for you, I am sure that you will look at each break from a completely different angle than before.
Every beginning is difficult, but I believe in you my wonderful souls and I believe that you can do it.
Every beginning is difficult, but I believe in you my wonderful souls and I believe that you can do it.
1. Do not set a time limit
Don't put pressure on yourself to get over someone you still love as quickly as possible. Allow yourself to gradually heal your heart. It's okay that you need time, especially when it comes to relationships that have lasted for several years, and if you try to force yourself to recover quickly from the loss of love, it can very easily happen that you just slow it down even more.
Get rid of any expectations about how long you should regret your loss and try to focus on the positive things. It’s okay to feel all those emotions and thoughts that come with this kind of experience and so give yourself time to get rid of them. Take it easy.
2. Accept and realistically look at the new situation
No matter how you feel, don't let yourself lose touch with reality. Every time you feel that you have gone too far in thinking and analyzing, do one of the grounding exercises.
Your relationship is over and it’s a terrible thing for you at the moment. Even if you were the one who broke up, even if you feel relieved that it happened it is very possible that you will feel lost at first and that is fine. Accepting the new situation is the first step towards healing.
3. Be kind and patient with yourself
The intensity of the feelings you experience the loss of great love is often compared to death, and that is why it is necessary to give yourself enough love and tenderness to fully recover.
Start by not paying attention to people telling you how to do it. Even the best advice from people who wish you well (parents, close friends) is no guarantee that you will feel better. Everyone speaks from their own experience and their own perspective, and what has helped someone does not mean that it will bring you the same result. No one can know what you survived together and what feelings reigned between you when you were alone. You know yourself best and so don’t do anything by force just to meet the expectations of others. So give support and love to yourself.
4. Dive deep into your subconscious
To free yourself and get over someone you need to focus on yourself and not on the other person. It's okay to still have moments of anger and resentment towards them, but the truth is that if you really want to have control over your life again, you will have to let them go.
Dig deep and connect with your subconscious to understand why you wanted that relationship in the first place. What did you get out of it? Be completely honest with yourself. It often happens that people can no longer even remember why they stayed in a relationship for so long. Think carefully about whether you miss your ex-partner or you miss all those beautiful memories and moments from the time when you were happy with him. Honestly answer the question of whether there were more beautiful or ugly moments and what is the thing you are most afraid of now that your relationship is over. Is it the fear that you will not love someone again? Fear of loneliness? Fear of being hurt again? Fear of leaving?
Face your fear. Tell him that you are grateful to him for making you aware of what it is that scares you, but now you know that you no longer need him because you are creating your reality yourself. Wave to him and greet him. Congratulate yourself on overcoming your fear, and then think about what new reality you want to create for yourself.
What is it that you want from life that you could not have while you were in that relationship?
5. Remove them from your life completely.
Even if you ended the relationship without ugly words and in a good relationship, it is necessary to remove your ex-partners from social networks and cut off all forms of communication. The last thing you need now is to turn on your phone during the recovery process and come across their picture or video from a party with a company or maybe a new partner. Do not touch the wound until it heals, as this will only slow down the process.
You can also block them so that their posts do not pop up in your suggestions. Don't feel bad when you do that. Let the past be the past. Your time is NOW. You don't owe them anything more. But you owe yourself to love.
BUT when you block or delete them from a friend don't visit their profile anymore or unblock them to see and explore what's new with their profile and then block them again. DO NOT INJURY YOURSELF ANYMORE.
6. Burn all feelings that no longer serve you
If you are still not ready to talk to other people about the breakup, transfer your emotions to paper. Don't keep anything to yourself, don't let all those unspoken words choke you. Let absolutely everything come out of you. Express your sadness, anger, concern, fear, worry… Empty yourself on paper and then burn it. Repeat this process every time you feel the need. After a while, you will realize that you will be much more ready to talk to other people and that it will not be difficult for you when someone asks you about your ex-partner.
7. No one is to blame
Don’t blame yourself or the person you were in love with. It is pointless to look for the culprit because it will not take you anywhere nor will it help you feel better.
Even if you did something that hurt your ex-partner and you lost your relationship because of something you did, don't torture yourself - you've already suffered enough.
It is important to distinguish between taking responsibility and guilt. Guilt demands punishment, and punishment is pain and disease. Accepting responsibility leads to change and the desire to change something. It is okay to accept responsibility for your actions, but also to forgive yourself. You were doing the best you could at the time. You didn’t know better then, but now you’ve learned a lesson.
8. Forgive yourself and them
They have been there in your life for a reason and a great purpose. They taught you wonderful lessons, ones you couldn’t learn on your own. For the most part, it was your teachers who difficultly guided you on the path of self-love.
HOW TO FORGIVE? To begin with, there must be a desire for forgiveness.
Close your eyes and imagine how you are surrounded by love and how all that love around you flows into your heart. Then imagine your partners appearing in front of you. Approach them, look them in the eye and tell them: - I FORGIVE YOU. I'm RELEASING. I LET YOU GO. Repeat these sentences until you feel relief. Then imagine approaching them and hugging them tightly. Then send them the words: - THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LESSONS AND ALL THE MOMENTS WE HAVE SPENT TOGETHER. NOW I'm RELEASING YOU AND PERSONALIZING YOU. THANK YOU FOR ALL. Open your eyes.
Enormous power lies in forgiveness that will make you feel so free and relieved that you feel like you can take off.
9. Stop dreaming about what could have happened
Don’t allow yourself to waste time thinking about what could have happened if you hadn’t broken up or what could have happened if you gave them another chance. In most cases, after some time since the breakup, it turned out to be really the best for both of them.
If the Universe still has some plans to reunite you then leave it to him. It is only yours to step forward without any expectations because remember expectation = disappointment.
Don’t live in the past. Allow yourself to believe in the bigger picture and that everything happened for a great reason.
10. It is not a shame to seek professional help
It's OK that you're not OK. You can apply many methods, exercises that are offered to you from meditation, visualization to talking to professionals.
Normally, you cannot solve some things on your own. I describe it as when you find yourself in front of a forest you have never set foot in. It’s dark, you don’t know the trails, you could get lost and spend a long time looking for the right path. You need someone who knows the right way to take you through that forest. Everything you need to follow the voice of your heart when choosing that person.
It is very important to start from the beginning where it all started and to work through the work with the chosen soul (psychologist, life coach, spiritual teacher, therapist…) to get to the cause of why this happened to you.
Through the MAGIC MIRROR course, we work on the causes and the most important thing, and that is LOVE FOR YOURSELF.
11. Look ahead and meet new people
Have confidence in the Universe that works for your greatest good at all times. Trust the bigger picture even when you can't see it. The universe says NO in only 2 cases: NO yet and NO because I have something better for you. Once you accept this, it will be much easier for you to understand why some things happen against our will. When you truly believe that everything happens for a reason, it will be much easier for you to let go of people who are no longer in your life.
Don't look back you have already crossed that path. It is time for new steps, new paths, and paths. It's time for new, fresh energy. Give yourself a chance to meet new people, hear some new stories, make acquaintances. I’m not saying you have to fall in love again or get in a relationship soon if you feel you’re not ready yet. But allow yourself to be nice and laugh in the company of some new people. Many people think that they will never feel so beautiful, special, happy again as when they were in a relationship with their ex-partner. But, my dear wonderful souls, that is only a belief, and beliefs can change when we decide to step out of our comfort zone.
Rejoice in every new sunrise and sunset, because the sun is a real proof of how beautiful the end and the beginning can be. Fall in love with yourself again and embark on that magical journey of self-realization. Pamper yourself, go out to dinner with yourself. Show and prove to yourself that you don’t need another person for happiness.
Life really knows how to surprise and write the best script of your love fairy tale when you least expect it - precisely because you have fired and what you do not expect. Have confidence and indulge.
Some of the best moments in your life have not happened yet.
Wonderful feeling, isn't it?
I'm sending love.
Your article is great, it should be helpful to anyone who has these problems. I agree with every word you write.