Rewriting a page of my life

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Written by
11 months ago

PUBLISHED: JUNE 23, 2022 TIME: 3:40 PM PST ARTICLE #: 140

If there was one thing in my past that I could go back and alter, it would be that I would have tried more to be a good daughter to my mother...

Photo by Elina Fairytale from Pexels

Some of you are already aware of the fact that I have some problems with my mother and that our relationship is not in the best place right now. Because she treats me with such disdain, there are moments when I get the impression that she no longer considers me to be her daughter. To tell you the truth, I have already accepted the idea that she does not love me any more. Nevertheless, given that we are still cohabitating in the same space, I continue to hold out hope that one day we will be able to patch things up and get along again.

If I had to tell you about my childhood, I would say that it was really traumatic. I was raised with some of the thorns in my heart, and to tell you the truth, I still carry a deep-seated hatred for everyone around me, particularly my mother. I can still recall the events on which she exposed me to physical violence; as a result of this, I became a defiant youngster. To the best of my knowledge, all I did as a kid was act like a silly kid. I used to hang out with a bunch of children and play in the backyard, and then I'd walk inside the house covered in dirt. To summarize, I was just literally a "pasaway". But isn't it true that all youngsters have this behavior? Every day of my childhood life, I received a lot of my mother's verbal and physical abuse that affected my mental health very much. There is not a day that will passes that I will not think of the things that may irritate her, but if I am being really honest, I feel no ill will toward her. I was just a kid, enjoying my childhood.

And as a direct result of being treated in such an inconsiderate manner, I became ruder, more rebellious, and finally developed into a completely hostile teenager. My need for attention and affection was a contributing factor in my being pregnant at such a young age. It was the worst, and I very much regret having done it. I was under the impression that it was real love, but in the end, I was just confused and needed to return home to my parents. After I gave birth to my kid, I naively believed that everything would work out for the best. But things just grew worse, and in the end, Mom basically completely disowned me as her daughter. It's almost as if I don't have a mother at all. To this day, I still yearn for my mother's affection, and I still look forward to the day when she will finally accept my apology in its entirety.

If I had the opportunity to rewrite the chapter of my life when I used to be a naughty child, I would shift my attitude to be a respectful and considerate kid like my sister. It's possible that if it really took place, my relationship with my mother would be far more positive and harmonious.

So what if you can alter the past? Are you aware that the future will also be impacted?

I am aware that if I were to alter the past, it would have an effect on everything that will occur in the future; nevertheless, I do think that whatever you are meant to be or whomever you are supposed to be with will still take place; it will simply take place at a different time.

What about you? What is it exactly that you feel needs to be altered in your life? Always keep in mind that every choice you make will have consequences not just for yourself but also for the people around you. It is possible for it to be beneficial, but at the same time, it may also be harmful. Take note, always give serious consideration to your options before acting on them.


Anyways, here's my previous blogs:

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Written by
11 months ago

Comments

Even if I was given a chance to change something, I won't do it. My life is a little mess right now but I know someday somehow I can fix it

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11 months ago

that's a good idea sis kaso madami tao I know ung gusto pa din balikan ung past dahil may malalang trauma sila.

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11 months ago

I am so sorry to know sis that your own mom hurt you. I believe na kung pano mo itreat yung tao, e magrereflect yun sayo. So, I do not blame you being rebellious. I do wish na may light pa sa heart ng mom mo.

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11 months ago

sana nga sis maging okay na kami kaso sadly ang gusto niya lagi kasi is money. nako... mahabng kwento tlga at ayoko idisclose masyado ung kay mom ko.

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11 months ago

I have two cousins who rebel din as a teenager but now bati na sila ng tita ko, although syempre pag biruan di maiwasang asarin pano sila nagrebelde before. They had chosen their boyfriends over their family and studies to the point na nagkaanak nang maaga. Here's the catch, they never lived in the same house with my tita when they had their own families. They wanted to stand up for themselves kasi that's the path they had chosen. Nung nakita ng tita ko how they struggled pero patuloy pa rin, dun sila nagkabati. They never stopped na suyuin ang tita ko, they even bought presents kahit walang wala sila. They accepted the fact na nagkamali sila.

This may not be the same case with you but I hope you never stop treating your mom with kindness. Ika nga nila, kahit ginawan ka ng masama, trato mo pa rin sila ng mabuti. I believe at some point in time, babalik ang kindness to you.

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11 months ago

Thank u for these words ate. Minsan tlga parang napagod na ko at di ko alam if mas okay magkasama kami. Ung ate kong psychometrician, nakikita din niya sa behaviour ni mama na may mali. Something mental. At sinasabi niya na lang sakin na intindihin ko na lang daw.

So syempre ako iniintindi ko dahil matanda na. Parang naging hopeless na lang ako na magkakaayos pa kami sa lagay nya. Parang pati kasi sya may thorns or may bad exp sa past.

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11 months ago

It was such an emotional and deep story sis. Ako naman sa Papa ko hindi maganda ang relationship namin, though I was a good kid. I will share a story here about it as well :) Naka-draft na yun eh.

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11 months ago

Omg waiting here. Basahin ko sya. Pero up to now ba okay na kayo?

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11 months ago

Sorry about this langga. Parang nabanggit mo nga noon nuh yung about niyong dalawa ng mom mo. It's just a past langga. Okay na ba kayo ngayon now?

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11 months ago

Hindi pa din ate. I dunno eh kahit anong gawin ko lagi nya ko sinusumpa.

Ate J kamusta na parang di kita nakikita nagpopost dito lately?

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11 months ago

Ganun ba langga. Sorry langga. Malayo ba kayo sa isa't isa?

Oo langga busy ako. Di ako makapag focus. May inasikaso kasi ako.

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11 months ago

Nasa iisang bahay lang kami ate pero di niya tlga ako iniisip eh wahahaha bata pa lang ako inaabuso na niya ko.

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11 months ago

Ganun ba langga. Bat naman siya ganun eh anak ka niya.

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11 months ago

ahahahahaha di ko din alam ate baka ako ung unplanned pregnancy tlga noon whahaa

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11 months ago

Wag ka mag isip ng ganyan langga. Sana di ganyan mama mo sayo.

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11 months ago

mabait lang sya kapag may pera ako ate eh wihihihi.

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11 months ago

Ganun ba langga. Sorry langga. Sana ma realize niya din langga.

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11 months ago

Well sana nga ate. Lahat naman ginagawa ko eh para din sakanya

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11 months ago

Oo langga. I pray langga kasi mom mo kasi siya.

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11 months ago

Ako di rin kami nagkakasundo ng mother ko, peru in my side wala akong maaring baguhin, ako yung nag-adjust for her but siya yung di kayang magbago. Ang pagkamabisyo ko na tao ang gusto kung baguhin for now kasi, dina naalagaan yung sarili baka maagang ma tsugi hihih

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11 months ago

Nakoooo alagaan mo sarili mo dahil walang ibang tulong kundi sarili mo lang lalo na eh kung sarili mo family di ka matulungan.

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11 months ago

Kaya nga ehh, ngayun ko na realize na nagkasakit ako na dapat talaga alagaan kasi may consequences talaga after and not good talaga

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11 months ago

Trueeee! At kahit may jowa ka pa di ka maaalagaan nyan totally. Learn to be independent ika nga.

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11 months ago

Hahahah ganun bah, plan kopa namn maghanap nang jowa sana nang may mag care din hahahah

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11 months ago

I have a lot of things that I want to alter in the past, but maybe I will just leave it as it is. I didn't know your issue about your mother sis. Whatever it is, I hope that the two of you will be able to fix it.

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11 months ago

Hehe kung pwede lang nmn I alter 2hy not sis. Grab the chance.

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11 months ago

Sabagay siiis. Siguro ano, haahha pwede dun sa part na pinangnak ako? Sana royalty ako ahhahaajhahaha.

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11 months ago

Pwede din ah. Ako nmn gusto ko maging anak mayaman naman tapos love ako ng parents ko ganern.

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11 months ago