Rewriting a page of my life

PUBLISHED: JUNE 23, 2022 TIME: 3:40 PM PST ARTICLE #: 140

If there was one thing in my past that I could go back and alter, it would be that I would have tried more to be a good daughter to my mother...

Photo by Elina Fairytale from Pexels

Some of you are already aware of the fact that I have some problems with my mother and that our relationship is not in the best place right now. Because she treats me with such disdain, there are moments when I get the impression that she no longer considers me to be her daughter. To tell you the truth, I have already accepted the idea that she does not love me any more. Nevertheless, given that we are still cohabitating in the same space, I continue to hold out hope that one day we will be able to patch things up and get along again.

If I had to tell you about my childhood, I would say that it was really traumatic. I was raised with some of the thorns in my heart, and to tell you the truth, I still carry a deep-seated hatred for everyone around me, particularly my mother. I can still recall the events on which she exposed me to physical violence; as a result of this, I became a defiant youngster. To the best of my knowledge, all I did as a kid was act like a silly kid. I used to hang out with a bunch of children and play in the backyard, and then I'd walk inside the house covered in dirt. To summarize, I was just literally a "pasaway". But isn't it true that all youngsters have this behavior? Every day of my childhood life, I received a lot of my mother's verbal and physical abuse that affected my mental health very much. There is not a day that will passes that I will not think of the things that may irritate her, but if I am being really honest, I feel no ill will toward her. I was just a kid, enjoying my childhood.

And as a direct result of being treated in such an inconsiderate manner, I became ruder, more rebellious, and finally developed into a completely hostile teenager. My need for attention and affection was a contributing factor in my being pregnant at such a young age. It was the worst, and I very much regret having done it. I was under the impression that it was real love, but in the end, I was just confused and needed to return home to my parents. After I gave birth to my kid, I naively believed that everything would work out for the best. But things just grew worse, and in the end, Mom basically completely disowned me as her daughter. It's almost as if I don't have a mother at all. To this day, I still yearn for my mother's affection, and I still look forward to the day when she will finally accept my apology in its entirety.

If I had the opportunity to rewrite the chapter of my life when I used to be a naughty child, I would shift my attitude to be a respectful and considerate kid like my sister. It's possible that if it really took place, my relationship with my mother would be far more positive and harmonious.

So what if you can alter the past? Are you aware that the future will also be impacted?

I am aware that if I were to alter the past, it would have an effect on everything that will occur in the future; nevertheless, I do think that whatever you are meant to be or whomever you are supposed to be with will still take place; it will simply take place at a different time.

What about you? What is it exactly that you feel needs to be altered in your life? Always keep in mind that every choice you make will have consequences not just for yourself but also for the people around you. It is possible for it to be beneficial, but at the same time, it may also be harmful. Take note, always give serious consideration to your options before acting on them.

Anyways, here's my previous blogs:

• A quick overview about my personality

• Never outshine the Bride!

• 3 in 1 plus 1