The Inner Conversation, An Exercise In Self-Talk
1.How do you treat yourself? Do you treat yourself the same as everyone else or do you treat yourself differently? Before you answer this question think about the top five or ten people that you interact with such as: family, friend’s, coworkers etc. Your True Success depends greatly, but not totally, on the way you treat and interact with yourself as opposed to other people. Many times we fail to recognize the injustice of treating ourselves with extreme negativity through our inner conversations. The negative internal-conversation reflects back to us as shortcomings in the way we interact with other people.
Our inner-conversation is very important as we interact with inner circle groups in which we feel most at ease such as: family, friends, coworkers, etc. The inner conversational interaction can determine where we place ourselves in the structural dynamics of the group. A negative inner-chatter can cause us to adopt the idea we are worth less in comparison to others in our social groups. In this case one would be treating himself or herself in an nonconstructive, non-pragmatic, and pessimistic manner.
If you constantly compare yourself to other people in search of your own faults, they will most definitely be revealed. Self assessment or making comparisons between ourselves and others is fairly common in group dynamic interaction; however, self-evaluations in comparison to others can lead to great self-disappointment. This is not since you are less than others around you but because the strong perception can be adopted that this is the case, when in fact it is not the case at all. You are not meant to be like everyone else in the world. You are different and should act in a manner which dictates understanding that this uniqueness is more than acceptable.
2. Group Hierarchic Structures: If you are stuck in the mindset that you must fit in with your closest group of friends and family, then whatever this group is achieving at its highest position is exactly where you’ll end your achievement. This would not be expected to happen in every case; but, it does happen quite frequently. People establish a hierarchic structure in social groups and develop comfort levels within those structures. Whether the group is highly successful or failing miserably everyone finds their place. We act in the same fashion as the company that we keep.
3. If you keep poor company, it will become extremely difficult to act in a manner which brings wealth achievement. This idea can keep a person on the lowest rungs of the ladder for an entire lifetime. Think differently of yourself and place yourself on a higher standard of mindset which includes total success. Backup this new mindset with actions facilitating continued growth through the attainment of knowledge in directions you choose. Then, your new approach will reveal definite destinations leading to successes not recognized ever before.
4. While focusing on thinking of yourself as different than everyone else in the world, an individual, think of this idea. If roads were being built and everyone could only perform one task like digging with a shovel then the road would only be dug up. Every man or woman on the road crew would only be able to start the construction process. However, there would be no one to grade the road, lay the gravel, or set the concrete in order to assure the road’s surface is drivable. There would be no one in the crew to survey or set the directions in which the road should be laid. Moreover, there would be no one to drive the heavy machinery to make the road a finished product. We must think of ourselves as different from everyone else so that as a group each member is able to perform their specific duties.
5. As we think about life and the True Success journey we must be sure to take into serious consideration these factors. Almost everything we are taught from youth onward, teaches us to be like everyone else, to fit in to the crowd, to not create waves or walk to the beat of a different drum. This is in complete contrast of the way the world’s wealthy think and behave. If you think about the most innovative people throughout history you will find these people thought higher than the status quo. These innovative people thought and acted outside of what people expected of them. Many times people like this are looked upon as “crazy” or “trouble makers”. There are many people in this category such as; Dickens, Van Gogh, or Tolstoy who have change the way people look at the world. Or the more ridiculousness of people like the creator of “The Pet Rock” Gary Dahl or Slinky mastermind Richard James who’ve made hundreds of millions from their products.
Many times we fear being different as we think it will bring ridicule by our peers. There will always be someone who is going to disagree with you if you are doing things differently than them. I have to say to this “so what”. So what if people think you are weird or different than everyone else? So what if people think you do not fit the status quo or that you are creating waves. If you know that what you are doing is helpful and will create positive results for you or it makes constructive contributions to the world, go for it! Thinking you are the same as everyone else will almost always assure you stay the same as everyone else. This idea can remain for most of your life or at least until deliberate change takes place. Fearing what other people think of you can lead to a lack of motivation for making changes that will create success.
We must take chances in life if we want to reveal that we have something exceptional to offer the rest of world.
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." Leo Tolstoy
6. If there is a little voice inside you telling you to move towards a certain direction my advice is that you listen and then take action as quickly as possible. I say this with the caveat that the voice is telling you to do something constructive not destructive to your True Success journey. That little voice may be nudging in the directions of your true calling in life. Never be satisfied with being a part of the average crowd and definitely never be content with the position in life that someone else has dictated for you.
Create an understanding in the mind that this world needs movers and shakers who think outside the box and who refuse to be just another road digger. The world has to have road diggers however it only takes a few to perform that task. The world needs people to perform the other task which will make the road usable for the masses. We could use more people in the world who exercise courage to move forward in life despite the negative perceptions one might possess. There is no need to stand on the sidelines waiting for other people to do all the work either.
7. It is time to build the confidence to take chances no matter what the outcome. People who build and cultivate the courage to be different instead of remaining the same seem to always reap the positive benefits in one form or another. Some people reap these benefits on the world stage while others obtain them on a personal level. If the group in which you spend most of the time does not have a person whom you can look to as showing true courage then step up and become that person. Be the trailblazer, the leader of the pack, the one your family and friends will say “wow” John, Susan, etc. is really making a difference in their life. “I want to know what they are doing.”
Do not make change in your life for anyone else. Do it for you, but do it in a manner that people take notice. Don’t display courage as an opportunity to show how big your ego is. Use the opportunity to inspire others to want to move in the directions in which you are going.
The second quote from True Success Naturally is “Change Your Mind; Change Your Life Journey, Forever.” This citation is absolutely true. If you change your mind your entire life will begin to take a different more constructive and positive direction. Every person is what he or she thinks and focuses on the most. Therefore read this book as many times as it takes to alter your current psychology, to make changes now effectively honing the mind of the person you desire to be in the future. If you have fears use them to drive you, not to hold you frozen, stuck in current negative situations. Feel free and playful about the True Success journey! Allow your True Success journey to be a playground in which no other person is allowed to dictate how you interact in this space.
If you like this article please read more content from me that's geared toward your complete success.
My goal in life is to help as many people as I can to reach a level of success previously unknown to them. I know you can be one of those people.
by: Michaelson Williams, TSX, The True Success Expert
References: Thomas Plante, Ph.D. said in a 2013 publication of Psychology Today “In a nutshell, we constantly compare ourselves with others and then make judgments about the quality of our life based on these observations. We reflect on how well or bad we have it based on the perceived good or bad comparisons found among others.” Plante goes on to say “There are upward comparisons (i.e., observing people who seem to have it better than us when it comes to money, looks, resources, talents) and downward comparisons (i.e., observing people who seem to have it worse than we do regarding these qualities that we desire). We often feel better about ourselves and our lives when making downward comparisons and feel bad about ourselves when making upward comparisons.” Got Happiness? Social Comparison Theory Can Help!, Thomas G. Plante, Ph.D., ABPP published by: Psychology Today on April 9th, 2013.
I prefer to be alone most of the time than being with people and try to fit in. Those days that I'm alone and having that inner talk with myself made me know myself more. Love reading the article, very interesting.