Missing out!

April 30, 2022
Saturday

Yesterday, it was 45 degrees here though it's not news because it happens every year. It has become normal to have 45 degrees here in summer. And, the thing is I sometimes even switch off my fan even in such scorching heat. I start dripping sweat but the reason I switch off the fan is to avoid the interruptions while studying. There was a teacher too in my school who once told a similar thing that he often switches off his air conditioner just so that he can concentrate more while reading and I think it's since then I started following it myself.

Anyway, I just remember something from the past when I saw it was 45 degrees and my fan was switched off by me. I do not recall the year when I read this news. The month of May, June has always been scorching hot for everyone but at the same time, it used to be my exciting month too, because in these months the result of various boards exams used to be out and the newspaper used to be full of inspiring stories and the fascinating percentage the students begs in their exam. 99.6, 99.4 99, such used to be the percentage the newspaper was full of, and what I most like about it is that many of the All India Toppers were also from the same city where I was right that time and also right now. Whenever I used to read those I just was fascinated and motivated by them.

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"There was this girl from our city who topped and as I remember her percentage was around 98.7 percent and she was from ISC (Indian school certificate) board. Everyone in India knows it's a little hard. The day her results came her parents were very happy and to celebrate the occasion her parents ordered so many sweets to distribute in the locality they were living. Around 90 kg of sweets, they ordered, and since they wanted it to distribute the next day they decided they would be keeping these sweets in her daughter's room because it was air-conditioned and thought that she could manage for a night sleeping in the hall. But, the next day when the parents woke up, she was found hanging from the fan. And, when I read the news the police report says that she committed suicide because she didn't like the uneasy feeling of sleeping in the hall and that her room was full of smell of sweets. But, I never believed in such note, I thought it's note true. Either the girl was in depression or there must be some other reasons."

Like, the universal truth with every light comes the darkness. So, did the exam results bring, many students also commit suicide with their results because of their huge burden of not coming up to the expectations of their parents, or teachers, or sometimes their own expectations. India records around 12,500 suicides by students in the latest updated stats. For kind information, it's not just people who fail are the one who commits suicide but also the one who has performed considerably well but not what they thought would be their result.

Are parents to be blamed for their expectations?

If we arrive at the conclusion here that parents or society are to be blamed for their expectations then we would be a hypocrite and a fool. From the moment we are born our parents' responsibility increases exponentially and they enter a new phase of their life, a phase where they start working more in order to give a better life to their kids and a phase where they are willing to do everything they'd never before so that their kids can sleep peacefully. When we grow and start asking for things like chocolate or candy our parents always try bringing it to us. "Do they bring you 1/5th of the chocolate every time you demand a bar of chocolate?" Of course NO! they don't do that. From your birth they try to do everything for you but tell me would it be so wrong if they expect a little from us? Sometimes maybe their expectations can not be really achievable. But, talking about a developing country like India, Not many people are here so rich and the huge population burden of the country has created so much competition, fighting for the same resources. And, since most of their life our parents have spent in a very restricted economic condition, they just hope that their kids do not have to suffer the same that they did. And that is one of the reasons parents expect their kids to score well in the exams and get a good jobs.

Now, if you think that there could be another possibility of being successful in other careers like sports, or music, arts, etc then I must tell you that it's not the UK, RUSSIA, OR the USA or some developed countries where they have ample of opportunities in every field they enter, the doubt people in India have for other careers multiplied by the lack of financing themselves make them left with only studies. And, that is why in India, people are very inclined towards studies, especially their parents.

I myself was scared once when I was in class 9th that I didn't stand up to my parent's expectations but I mentioned it in one of my previous articles.

In the end, I just want to say that we must try to feel our kids as parents and we must try to feel our parents as a kid keeping ourselves in each other's shoes. Running away or avoiding is not a solution for anything, if there are some expectations being held by your parents that you are not capable of in their way, then you must reach out to them and convince them that they are able to achieve their ultimate expectations but with a different approach. We cannot blame our parents for the little expectations that they have from us in return for all their love and care in the world. And, not to mention that these expectations which they have from you are also revolving around your own good life.

As in India we say "हम अपने माता-पिता के लिए कितना भी कुछ कर लें लेकिन मां के दूध का कर्ज और आपको अपने गर्भ में धारण करते हुए वह जो दर्द सहती है उसका कर्ज हम कभी नहीं चुका सकते।"

Translation: "No matter how much we do for our parents but we can never pay the debt of mother's milk and the pain she bear while holding you in her womb."

Thank you.