First Impressions Aren't Always Right

One of my closest friends, has the most adorable dog companion, a Golden Doodle.

For those of you who do not know:

A Golden Doodle is a mixed breed dog that is a cross between the Golden Retriever and the Poodle. If you're hypoallergenic, it's an ideal companion because it doesn't shed fur like other dogs and, with a large breed anywhere in the vicinity of 25 inches, it's a pretty huge.

My friend's dog, Rex, is an amazing dog with a big bark and he absolutely loves to play. Of course, if you're not familiar with big dogs, he could appear to be pretty intimidating.

When my friend first introduced me to Rex, after I got over the initial shock of his size, I fell in love with him, and because I knew that my sons loved dogs, I arranged for them to meet him as well. The thing is, I took it for granted that they would not be as daunted by his appearance as I was.

My sons were absolutely excited to meet Rex and on the day we went over, it was all they could talk about, the fun that they were going to have with him. I did warn them that he was a bigger dog than they were accustomed to, but I don't think that they could have anticipated how big he really was.

My friend lived in a relatively quiet, gated community out in South Florida. When we got to his home and rang the bell, we heard Rex barking on other side of the door.

My youngest son pushed to the front of our group. "I want to play with him first," he said.

But then my friend opened the door, Rex ran out, my son took one look at him, his mouth formed a perfect O, his eyes opened as wide as a saucer, and faster than I could blink, he turned tail and ran.

Rex, mistaking my son's fear for a game, chased after him.

The rest was pure pandemonium: the owners chased after the dog, the dog chased after my son, and my son raced around the quiet community yelling at the top of his lungs.

Pretty soon his brothers were screaming alongside him.

Suffice to say, we were not off to the best start.

Eventually, after a lot of running and yelling, we were able to restore a modicum of order, and coax Rex into the house, his thick tail wagging excitedly. As far as he was concerned, the little race had been fun! My son, on the other hand, was another story. We had to plead and cajole and to promise to keep Rex safely away from him before he agreed to return.

The thing is though, by the end of the evening, for all the contention before, my son was able to let his guard down and we captured moments of him hugging and lying across Rex's back and playing with his fur, all in all having a fun time. My son was able to do this because he accepted the possibility that his first impression of the dog as intimidating and a danger was wrong. How easy it is for children to adjust their views based on evolving information and how difficult it is sometimes for us as adults.

Instinct vs Intellect

My friends, how many times do we miss out on good relationships and opportunities because we form an impression about someone or something based on inaccurate and unfair misconceptions? How many times do we enter into bad relationships based on a first impression?

Traditionally, by nature, as humans, we relied on instinct to give us cues to protect us. This has been the manner in which our race was able to survive for centuries.

After a while though, with the development of education and critical thinking, we were able to use other measurable and evidence based factors to guide our decision making. This approach helped us to either reinforce our intuition, or sometimes, it contradicted it.

Sometimes Second Chances are Important

Haven't you ever been in a situation where you have had the cause to say to someone that you initially thought of them as being one way when in fact, they turned out to be different? Hasn't there ever been a time when someone said the same to you?

Sadly, if you close the door on someone because of just one interaction, you may be denying yourself an opportunity to build a relationship with someone fabulous or to engage in a project that could also be beneficial. In the same vein, if you rush into a decision and give complete access to someone just because you have a good feeling about them without evidence, you could end up regretting this decision.

And so, my friends, first impressions aren't everything. Some things take time and observation and measurement and evidence gathering, and questions, and careful thought. But those are just my views, guys, I'd love to hear what you think.