Proven guilty

May 4, 2022

Today I was convicted with a crime of being unkind. I said no to do kindness that I should have given. And I prove myself guilty of doing the crime.

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Since I wasn't able to finished the process of opening an account at the bank last week, so I came back today. And I am thankful that I didn't have a hard time passing all the requirements. It give me a since of relief that I would have an account number by next week. Though I am quite sad learning that I would be back again for the third time just to have my salary. Sad reality of the world ehh? Having to struggle a lot before acquiring your pay. I hope soon enough it would be change. Anyways so much about that.

I want to ask you a question? It's about kindness. It goes like this, Do kindness have limits? If yes, when? I want to asked your opinion about it because I want to analize if base on your answer, I would still be proven guilty because I prove myself guilty of the convicted crime. Well, for you to understand better the story goes like this.

This morning as I was waiting for a van to ride going to the bank. I arrived in the waiting shed alone, I mean there's no other passenger that is waiting other than me. Few minutes later, a girl arrived and the van arrived as well. When the driver open the van, there were only one sit available. The girl claim she was in a hurry and so as myself but I did not told everyone about it. But I told that I came and waited first. So, the driver let me in. The girl, continue to asked if she could still hop in cause its okay for her if we share the chair. The driver asked me and I couldn't answer. I was so hesitant because the ride will be long and everyone have the same destination. Therefore we will be both uncomfortable and we will pay the same fare even with such horrible situation. Since I did not answer nor move an inch in my chair, so the driver close the door. I still couldn't decide, and I am half hearted about the situation.

I could have share my chair with her.

I could have indure the uncomfortable situation.

What if she's really in a hurry?

What if she would wait long hours to finally ride?

There and then, I found myself guilty. I was too unkind. I was selfish and I hate myself so much. But I couldn't change anything. So, I prayed. I asked God to forgive me for what I have done and what I have failed to do. I prayed that he will provide her transportation and would arrive in her destination at the right time. I know there will be more van passing. So I am positive she will.

From that moment as well I realized that God tells me it's okay to say no especially when you are uncomfortable doing it. If it will hurt you or put you in an uncomfortable situation in your life. I am happy in one side that I know when to say no or when I give kindness in order for it to be not abused by others. Cause currently, I wanna share as well how I regretted to extend so much kindness to a friend of mine. Lending her my extra money and now that I needed it and she couldn't return it back as per agreement, I was left no choice and struggled so much finding money and even borrowed from others as well.

Let's put a healthy boundaries to ourselves as to when will kindness be given without compromising yourself. Sometimes we let kindness over play the role and we forget that we put ourselves in a very bad situation. Never do that. Do kindness happily, comfortably. Yes, I convicted myself with the crime of unkindness but I learned my lessons and realize my worth today. I knew God will forgive me. At some point I am happy I did or I will regretted doing it at the end. I may have some guilt of not doing extra mile of kindness but I never regretted doing it. The situation serve as a reminder and a wake up call as will. As to how far my kindness would go. Pondering it tonight, I think I have made the right decision. If she was on a hurry at the first place she should have come early. Never allow anyone suffer the consequences of your actions. I accepted my flaws and my lapses, I hope she did as well.

That would be all for today friends. Thank yous so much for reading. God bless always.

Lead image from Unsplash