Supposed To Be My Job

Just last year someone calls me in person to talk about an opportunity. She is my sister. She's been our barangay treasurer here in our place for more than a decade already. She's a good sister to me. She's thoughtful and always finds ways for us her siblings to live life better.

She talks to me in private if I want to go to work. Then I told her yes of course for the sake of my own family. She told me that if I want to be a secretary of an SB member in our town. Then I said " yes, I love to. " what are the requirements? She said that I have to submit an application letter to the SB member herself. This SB member has a secretary already but she is about to stop working due to her pregnancy. That's why this SB member look for a replacement. Besides, my sister and this SB member is a good friend the reason why my sister looks for another who is willing to work with the SB member.

I have this other sister that is a college graduate who also needs a job for her family. Indeed, she badly needs it because her husband is a Pastor in a particular church but their financial aspect or income is not enough for them. This sister of mine already has an 11-year-old son. The only son. She's already a licensed teacher. Unfortunately, until that time she still didn't find a job. She's done with teacher ranking but she wasn't qualified because she lacks points. That's why our older sister offers also the job to this sister of mine.

In other words, we both knew about the opportunity offered by our sister but we were both undecided about who will sacrifice. She needs a job and so do I. We were so confused at that time. But the good part of me is that our older sister offers the opportunity to me first. Even our barangay chairman recommend me to the SB member because she knew that I can do the job since I'm also a college graduate. By that, I was expecting that I'll be the one who will be hired. But the sad truth was that my older sister who offered to us push my sister to apply as soon as possible without me knowing. With all honesty, I was disappointed in my older sister at that time because I thought she likes me doing the job. I thought she recommend me to the SB member but I was wrong. I knew within me that this older sister of ours likes our other sister to do the said job because I know from the very start that they are close to each other. And me? Was out of their thoughts. 😔

I was sad after knowing that my sister was hired instantly. It's supposed to be my job but this old sister of ours wasn't like me at all. That was the painful truth. I slowly accept the truth that I was not the one. Maybe I'm not deserving of the position because it doesn't fall to me. But I never looked down on myself instead I cheer up and am still hopeful that somehow I can be able to find a job for myself. Maybe it's not the time. Maybe there is another opportunity that will knock for me. I am waiting for that time to come.

It's almost five months since my sister was hired. She started the job on January 3 this year. During that time, I was mad at them both of my sisters because I felt that they betrayed me. But I never confronted them that I was mad and disappointed. Until now, the pain I had is still here in my heart. Especially when I see my sister is going to work every day. Every time I see she's wearing the municipal uniform which is supposed to be mine. Which is supposed to be my job. 😔But what can I do? It's already done. Nothing will change.

What's most painful until now is that they never confront me about why it all happened so suddenly. Why do they never explain to me why I wasn't the one? I'm far more experienced in doing papers works because I already landed a job before. Not to brag, but I am well computer literate than my sister. I am well exposed to computers than hers. I am more knowing about MS than hers. Why? Why? Why? Maybe because I have a baby that still needs my attention and care. Maybe because I'm blessed with my husband having a job than her husband. I don't know. Maybe that's the reason.

For now, however, I am happy with what my sister is achieving and learning now. Yes, I am happy because my sister is currently building their own house. And what she earns will be going to their house. And that is now the reason why I'm happy because at least I help her raise her family by sacrificing the job that was supposed to be mine. All her salary is for their house. I am glad that I see now the progress in their family. After all, a family is a family. And me? I am now okay. I have no choice then. 😁 I have already forgiven them. I already confessed it to God. I just pray that her job will continue especially that the SB member as her boss had won the recent election. But she said to me that if her recent teacher ranking will be successful now that she will be hired by the DepEd, I'll be the one she will recommend to her boss. That's for sure. But within me, I will not hope for that to come. I am still in trauma. Lol.

That would be all for today. Thank you for reading. I hope that you understand what I meant to say in this content. God bless you. Shalom. 😇

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