Going Back

Have you ever been into a situation where you realized that you've already lose your passion over the things you used to do before?

There is so many factors that could affects us in losing interest over a thing, people or places. It could be when someone broke our heart, a family problem, financial problem, pressure, worried about our future and many more. When we are going through these problems, we tend to feel unmotivated. Even if we are the smartest person in our school when someone hurt us emotionally, we could lose ourselves. We will be unmotivated, hopeless, cried all day and night in our rooms, feeling like we don't know what to do next anymore until it leads us to losing our interests from the things we used to love before. Our favorite comedy movies that we used to love watching before no longer makes us laugh, the old places that used to be our favorite place to stay were no longer gives us peace. Hobbies that we used to do almost everyday before can't motivate us anymore now. How could be these things became boring to us now?

But, losing our interest over a certain thing doesn't mean we've already lost it all. After going through a hard time, we became stronger and smarter. When someone broke our heart, the only key for the true happiness is loving ourselves even more. If we feel like we no longer see our old happy self in us anymore, we can GO BACK, not on the traumas and bad experiences but on the things that makes us happy before. Because if we feel like our hobbies don't makes us happy and motivated, maybe that's not us anymore. Just keep in mind that only our bad experiences changed us and not the good ones.

A couple of days ago, I decided to draw again as I've noticed that I have no time and interest anymore in this hobby of mine that I used to love before. If you'll read some of my articles here from these past weeks, I've shared here what I'm going through these days. And those experiences from last year made me lose interest in doing the things that I used to love. I cried when I realized those things, that I feel like I can't see my old self in me again. Going back, that last time I drew was already 2 years ago, 2020. All throughout the year 2021, I'm broke and most of the time I'm sad. I didn't even remember that I have a hobby due to emotional breakdowns almost everyday and week. Now, I decided to be back again when I accidentally saw my old pencil while cleaning my stuffs.

This is my favorite pencil to use when I'm sketching and answering exams. I think this pencil became my luck as well as I always get high scores in every exams I take when I was still studying. Moving on, I bought oslo paper for where I will draw the reference I chose from Pinterest. First, I drew grid lines using a very light lines that will help me aligning the eyes cause that's where I take too long when sketching. Plus, it's been a while already since the last time I drew too.

From this:

To this:

Still not done with the hair cuz my pencil run out of eraser. But this work is 90% done. I just need to put more strokes on her left side of hair and put color on her hat. Also, this is my first time putting freckles on the face of my subject. I was a bit nervous at first as it might ruin the over all work of mine but with I take risk and drew each of those with gentle and hope that it'll look nice after. This art of mine took me 2 days, the first photo took me 3 hours and then I get tired and decided to finish it the next day.

I just accidentally found my pencil and never thought it will teach me something that is really meaningful that I should try. Going back to my old self, old hobbies and old favorites. Yes, it really feels better ♡.

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Have a great day wonderful people ♡.