Who or what is 'this one'?

It can basically be everything and everyone. I have no idea what nbsb is but feelings are always confusing and a mix between wanting x loneliness x wishes x being liked x ... All you can do is wait and see or put on the courage booties and go after what you like and simply ask (or write).

Ps nsb feels eerie to me since it is a shortcut for a nazi in our country.

Whatever nbsb means I wonder is there a need to tell that? Does it mean you are not human or what you think, feel isn't real? Isn't it possible to just be?