Sometimes I wonder if a woman's only purpose in this world is to become a mother and give birth. What if I do not want to give birth and I want to spend my life living an I don't care life? Does it make me unworthy? I just want to watch movies, listen to different songs, and explore and enjoy life as much as possible, as long I'm not hurting anyone. I only live once so I have the choice to choose where I want to be. I want to become a Gothic girl in main character world. Seriously, I'm a very responsible person but I just want to do nothing sometimes and make jokes to make my cats laugh..damn life...
And if I won't be able make it as the main gothic girl in this life then I have to make sure in my next life I'm living my ideal life! It's not my fault if I was born an idealistic person! I'm just creative and imaginative..that's it!
I'm almost frantic.
Yesterday, I didn't realize that I lost my postal ID, and I only realized it when it was dark and I was at home. I repeatedly check my pocket, envelope, table, and even under my bed. I didn't stress myself out because maybe I only left it at the remittance center. This morning, I went to the remittance center and the teller told me there was no postal ID left there and she handed it to me yesterday after the transaction.
Thankfully, someone found it and picked it up from the ground. I receive a message on Facebook telling me to contact them at that number. They already message me yesterday, but I didn't see it. Thank God that there are good people willing to return it, because some people will just ignore a thin piece of card. It's the only valid ID I have and if I lose it, I will have to get a new one again, wait for 2 months, and of course pay again and the process is so frustrating.
A big thanks to them, I got my postal ID card at the elementary school because the person who found it was a mother enrolling her children at the school. May God bless her for picking it up and returning to me. ♥️
I was busy studying my notes when suddenly I hear a particular old school song from my sister's phone and suddenly I start searching it because I feel so LSS (last song syndrome). Everytime I search for a song without knowing the entire lyrics just a few keywords and a little hint, I always end up lucky finding it. Maybe it's really meant to be found? Well, going back to the song I heard right now, I feel really nostalgic and I somehow reminisce from the old times.
It's really true that nothing can totally bring back old memories except the songs. This song is not in my generation but in my brother's era. After finding and playing it on YouTube, I suddenly remembered the old but golden years of my life as a young kid, but I believe it was one of the greatest era during my brother's teenage years. This song is popular when texting through phone (SMS) is a thing and you get to be heartbroken because your chatmate did not text you back or did not appear in the meetup. I can highly remember it in my brother's era because he went through in this era and it was the era where smartphones were still not so highly popular as the keypad ones.
It's nice to go with the change but at the same time it's nice to look back at the past.
The song is so nostalgic. Waaah I wonder who first broke my brother's heart in a short SMS with a smiley emoticon. :-)
https://youtu.be/9hpGyHcgtrI
Our neighbour gave this to us yesterday. Their daughter in Germany sent them a package. 🇩🇪
I dreamed about my high school crush last night, and it was such a weird dream. He was biking and we were with my college classmates like what?? We are going to the 7/11 but we decided to stop for a while because it's getting dark. My classmate who is older than us grabbed something from her pocket and said she only had 30 pesos left to go to 7/11. I checked mine and I only have the same. He grabs his pocket and there are lots of coins. I told my classmates he was rich. That's all the change from his monthly allowance. He looks at me staring and I feel melting. I have missed him a lot..in my dreams.
If the parallel universe is real, maybe this is one of the realities happening there and if ever it's really true, I am happy because we are still together.
But maybe I only miss the feeling but not the person. What do you think is this dream about?
I cannot believe how easy it is for other people to enter marriage without thinking about the consequences. I won't take risk entering a serious relationship not until I will fully KNOW the character and personality of the person.
Imagine marrying a person who is very good and swears you are the one for so many years. Then 2 years after the marriage, the person is beating and cursing you! Kissing another woman! Really scary..
Imagine taking a risk to enter a relationship at a young age and many years from now, you ended up with trauma because the person manipulates and gaslight you! Really scary..
That's why I hate people asking me why I chose to be single. Simple as that. I trust no one.
To be honest, I wasn't really religious not until I encounter this subject in college "Folklore & Mythology." In fact, this is the most unforgettable subject in my chosen field and it really explain a lot the origins and understanding of every religions and set of beliefs in the world. It was in college where I learn that religions are from sacred writings and myths are based on ancient observations. From being a doubtful believer transformed into a sincere believer.
I hate how the devil is pushing the people we hate inside our minds, like, Hey, can you just kill that person instead of making us hate them?
When you changed your cover photo twice and thought no one will notice it because you uncheck the share update to the newsfeed and then found out it will notify everyone in their notification instead. Damn, I am feeling like a stupid.
Maybe I should just unfriend that particular person who's affecting my mental health everyday in Facebook. Damn I really hate this.
Margot Robbie is actually my best friend. (Although I still prefer her iconic Harley Quinn look).
I'm at the point of my life where I won't force myself to vibe, if I don't like your vibe then I don't like you.
I am always left wondering and thinking everytime my father talk on his pal on a phone that "another fisherman drowned." Like, it wasn't the first time hearing such conversation in the call. Last year, I heard the same thing too and if there's something that caught my nerves wondering, it is the thing that he alway say "maybe he was pulled by a merman."
I don't know if I heard it right but today he said on the phone that he has a friend who went fishing and then went running, extremely terrified. He is a good fisherman and he got his net left, while his bruises in the body seem like he was attack by the beast. Not a human trace. Those who are expert men who are guarding the fish port at midnight even got drowned despite the fact that there are lot of people who can see when someone will drown.
This is very interesting for me. I thought there are only environmental spirits but there are also merman creatures who are guarding the sea and will ready to attack you anytime. The world is so full of mystery and I'm glad I'm not limited by my thinking even though I'm a human being.
I find marriage a scary thing..
The one who has a biggest impact in your whole life is the person whom you will marry and this is why it's really scary.
What if you marry an abusive partner who will physically abuse you? Are you going to suffer for the rest of your lifetime since you are married? Battered wife/battered husband role in this world?
What if you marry a partner who is manipulative and toxic to your mental health? Are you going to suffer for that painful words?
What if you marry a partner who is a cheater? Are you going to cry and question your worth for the rest of your life?
What if you marry a partner who is very lazy? Are you going to suffer poverty for eternity?
What if you marry a partner whom you will regret for the rest of your life.
Marriage is a beautiful thing in this world but you need to choose the right person.
I'm afraid humans will run out of creativity one day.
Damn, my neighbours are singing along with Avril Lavigne songs and all I can say is thank you because it uplifted my emotions.😭
Everytime I think about the uncertainties in life, my favorite song out of nowhere would suddenly pop and it makes me teary because it just reminded me of the good old times.
Me to my soulmate: You did not find me why
Why do as we grow older we become dissatisfied and our desires were getting bigger? Maybe this explains why we get a frowning face as we age.
I just listened to the song "Ode To My Family" by The Cranberries and it make me cry. I don't know but this song makes a lot of sense compared to all the songs in this world. Dolores voice is so genuine and perfect. I actually have never felt frozen listening to my favorite songs because when I love something, I always enjoy listening over and over again but this one, it made me feel paralyzed, empty, staring at the ceiling, thinking about this:
"The song is actually correct."
I think this is going to be my song in my funeral one day. This song is like a lullaby to me.
https://youtu.be/Zz-DJr1Qs54
Religion will only hurt you if you are a material person.
Likewise, worldy things will hurt you if you are a spiritual person.
I don't know why teaching is my passion.
You know I want to quit and develop a skill because being a teacher one day is exhausting and not rewarding enough with all your efforts. It doesn't pay back all the hardships and restless nights unlike other tiring jobs but high-paying. Teaching is never lucrative but as for now, I don't aim for a lot of money. Just like other jobs, teaching is not for the faint-hearted.
Everytime I tell myself that teaching might not be for me..my tears will fall because my heart is telling me that teaching is my passion and calling in life. I can't help but become emotional.
Omg I can't believe it! I have finally recovered my fund from the too much loss and dip last year..What should I do now with this asset?
As I am facing a different stage of my life, I am not aware that BCH has pumped more than I was expecting. I used to be excited about these things but now I only feel a slight excitement because I am so confuse about the changes happening in my life.
#Kindaoverwhelming
I have published a new article!
What if I tell you that the world we are living is the hell? That sounds scary, but who knows?
https://read.cash/@Sydney2/what-if-earth-is-hell-in-disguise-83b7a88a
Omg bitcoin cash touched $200 wow!
The bulls are awake?
I dreamed last night about how beautiful Switzerland is. I was watching the beautiful lakes, pines, mountains, and skies. In fact, it wasn't the first time I had dreamed about Switzerland. I don't know when I dreamed about Switzerland last time, but during that dream, I was on top of a rock watching the falls above, and the entire view was heavenly.
Now, going back to my dream last night, I was really happy in my dream. It feels like I have found my purpose in this world. But there's one thing I have realized: that dream is very spiritual. I woke up this morning very happy. But I'm just really happy. It's a happiness you don't get from material things or from manly nature. It's really spiritual in feeling. It still resonates with me even when I'm awake. I just realized that my dream is not Switzerland, but I just had a glimpse of what heaven is! Now, I believe from what I read that heaven is "euphoric."
This is what you get from reading the scriptures every day, calling the name of Jesus, worshipping God, and listening to worship songs before sleeping at night.
I was left speechless watching this. Tibetan Buddhist stories never fail to amuse me. They always capture my soul. After watching this, I have realized I am already living a happy life but I was thinking all the time that I haven't achieved happiness yet because I haven't graduated and work yet, but no. This is a different explanation. Something I never expected to hear.
https://youtu.be/OTvrE9hfyKU
#JustAWeirdThought
Okay this thought has been running in my mind for a very long time. I don't know if I am just being too imaginative for thinking about this thing but I do always wonder if parallel or multiuniverse do exist..
They said there's another life, another dimension, another universe. I can't help but think if what if my soulmate was living on the different universe the reason why I cannot find a romantic partner in this universe? I can't help but think about it. What if I'm a reborn soul trapped in this universe and my other half was also reborn in the universe? What if it's true?
Trying one of the AI generated image online..
Okay so this guy is the character I created from my novel. A teenage guy with a blue eyes wearing a hoodie and a backpack. So far the AI provided a good image. In fact I like it to be animated rather than a real photo. However, when generating other characters from that AI website, they all look the same.
Where else can I try free AI generated images especially like these ones?
@Sydney2OnNoiseApp
