We can raise our daughters differently

I used to wonder why Nigerian parents raised their children by putting fear in them?.
We can do better with the way we raise our female children.
Raising Female children with fear is one of the reasons why they go astray. Raising your kids by putting fear in them won’t make them better or good in anyway, you make them scared to talk to you, you deprive them of freedom of speech, you make them scared to express how they feel.

I once asked my mom why she circumcised her female children which is another name for “Female Genital Mutilation” which means cutting away the clitoris. The clitoris has no other function but female pleasure.
She said, it’s no reason that it was also done to her. I see this as a barbaric process. The reason the female circumcision is done is to control a woman sexually, to deny a woman’s sexual agency, to tell her, her body doesn’t belong to her. I’m glad the government put a stop to female circumcision.

I was having a conversation with two of my friends and we talked about our first experience on menstruation. Then, one of them said to me “Tee, you wouldn’t believe I never told my mom about it” I asked why?, she said “I just couldn’t tell her”, that’s exactly the fear you put in your kids.
The other one said, “I told my mom and she said Tola, you’re already a woman once you’re touched by a man you get pregnant”. I laughed out, how could a mother say that to her kid, how could she make her feel ashamed of her body. Period should just be ordinary, it should be seen as normal. She said that to frighten the child, does that mean the child has never been touched by any man?. Some ladies can’t tell their mom they have a boyfriend because she’s gonna beat the hell out of her, no matter what age you are.

Sex education is supposed to start from the family but every mother is ashamed to talk about it until the child is ready or up for marriage. It is not supposed to be so. We live in a modern world, Parents should give girls the language to talk about their bodies. I know so many girls including me who know little about their bodies and are also ashamed to talk about their bodies.
As parents, we should pay close attention to what our children are passionate about, I ask myself why some talents are wasted. And, it’s because they didn’t get the support they needed. Don’t make your children do that career they don’t want. Most parents believe it’s only doctors and nurses that are likely to make it. In fact most parents believe once a child is intelligent she should be a doctor, even though she doesn’t have passion for it. Let’s your children go after their dreams.
My dad once told me to study nursing instead of Agricultural Economics because he believe nurses don’t go out searching for jobs after school. He told me Agricultural Economics wasn’t professional like Nursing, but I believe I’m going to be great, I’m going to be successful in whatever I find myself doing and I trust God to do better things in my life.

Let’s not raise our daughters in fear, we need someone to always talk to, we need someone who could wipe away the tears but, it just seem it’s the men who wipe away the tears for most women. Every woman needs someone to talk to, and the way to change a mindset is to talk about it.
You can be your daughters best friend, show interest in everything she does, love everything she loves and be there to correct her wrongs.
Stop judging your female children, there are better ways to correct a child instead of making her hate on herself.
I believe mothers can do better, raise your daughters to communicate, raise them not to believe in fear but in respect.