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Successful educational punishment has conditions and controls that control it and make it more effective to modify the child's behavior. Among these conditions and controls for successful punishment are the following:
1- Parental agreement: This is an essential factor in the success of punishment used in homes. Parents must agree on the types of punishment they want to use with their children.
They must agree on the method of implementing it, who carries it out, and when the punishment is to be carried out, but if the detailed agreement between the parents does not happen, the minimum is that they agree that if one of them decides a specific punishment, the other party does not interfere or oppose, especially in front of the children, because there is no agreement For these matters, one of the parents may appear in the guise of the child in front of the children. Likewise, the intervention of one of the parents in delaying or canceling the punishment decided by the other party leads to weakening the effectiveness of the punishment system in the home.
2- Making agreements with children: That is, it is clear to the children what mistakes and behaviors that require punishment, as well as what the penal system awaits them, when these matters are clear to the children, this deters them from making many behavioral mistakes and also makes them more receptive to punishment And they feel that this is a system that applies to all of them and not one without the other, and also when we apply to the child a punishment that he himself has chosen or agreed to, this makes him more obligated to submit to this punishment.
3- Firmness and persistence: One of the most influencing factors on the child is the repetition of behavior from those around him, and if a certain behavior is repeated around him, he will practice it, whether it is good behavior or otherwise, and also when practicing any type of punishment, the child may not be subject to this punishment, He may try to get rid of it or resist it, and sometimes he may try to enter one of the parents in order to abolish this punishment, but all these attempts will fail if the child sees his parents firm and persistent, and if the parents continue to repeat this type and come back when needed with firmness and determination and without argument or Retreat, and this makes punishment more successful in modifying the child's behavior.
4- Do not punish every mistake: it is not required to track down the child's missteps and then punish them, but the goal is to protect the child from staining some unpleasant behaviors, and therefore we need to turn a blind eye to some undesirable behaviors sometimes, especially when they happen for the first time, or if The mistake was small or unintended and was not clearly repeated, because the occurrence of punishment for every mistake, no matter how small, weakens the effectiveness of the punishment and makes it less effective in modifying the child's behavior.
5 - That the punishment is related to the behavior: a cause and a time: so that it is clear to the child why he was punished, and what was the mistake for which he deserved the punishment, and this matter is not completed unless the punishment comes immediately after the wrong behavior with an explanation of the reason for the punishment, and from the mistakes that some of Mothers have to delay the child's punishment until the father returns home, so that he has forgotten the wrong child that was made by him, and this makes the effect of punishment on behavior modification weak.
6- Interpretation of punishment: If the punishment came late for the occurrence of the behavior for any reason, the reason for the punishment must be clarified for the child, so that this would motivate the child to modify his behavior and not continue to repeat the inappropriate behavior.
7 - That the punishment be logical: it is fair that the size and type of punishment be logical and compatible with the type and size of the mistake, as well as that it is compatible with the child's age, so it is not reasonable for the child to be punished, for example, by depriving the child from playing for a week or more for a simple mistake. The parents are fair in choosing the type of punishment. That was what required the child's acceptance of punishment without having negative effects on the child's psyche.
8- Punish your child without embarrassing him or insulting him: the aim of punishment is to extinguish the behavior and not to cure the child or insult him, and therefore the punishment must be in isolation and away from the eyes of others, in order to preserve the child's psyche and away from embarrassing him, because punishing him in front of others will have effects There is a lot of psychological reverse, and also the educator has to avoid insulting the child during the execution of the punishment, because the child's fall into the mistake does not justify the occurrence of the educator in insulting the child, and this is unacceptable to educators, whether when implementing the punishment or at any time, and insulting behavior is not Civilized as well as being an appropriate educational method.
9 - Do not be punished while you are angry: It is associated with many educators that punishment does not occur from the educator except during anger, and in fact this is an incorrect correlation because most of the punishments issued during anger are only to remove this anger and not to modify the child's behavior, or to build good behavior for him And the beloved, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, has instructed us not to take any reaction to anger, for whoever reaches the end of anger, he must engage in positive action that extinguishes this intense anger, which is ablution. Its owner later regrets it, and therefore educators in general and parents in particular need to train themselves to control their anger and not to punish the child during an outburst of anger, and this is something that needs repetition, training and taming of the soul until it becomes an inherent characteristic of the same educator.
10- Good punishment is rarely used: the basic principle is not to use too much punishment, and to start before it with motivation and encouragement, and so on, then the punishment will be after it, this makes the use of punishment scarce and limited, and also the successful punishment is the one that leads to the elimination of many negatives and therefore we do not need to repeat it Continuously.