Are You Ready?

A simple question, yet some of us finds it difficult to answer. And some of us can readily answer yes. Depending on what is in question.....ready for what?

Are you ready ( for school ) ?

As a kindergarden kid.....I'm not ready. I don't want my mom to leave me inside the classroom. I ran after her whenever she leaves. And I still remember, there are days that I would just sleep in class and I only wake up when it's time for recess. And also I remember an instance that I ran out and followed my mom outside the school, I can'r recall how I got out but I did hahaha It went on like that for at least 2 weeks before I got used to the idea of going to school. And it really wasn't that bad after all, my thoughts then as a 5 year-old kindergarden kid.

Are you ready ( for love )?

As a teenager, I used to wonder if I'm not pretty enough to be noticed by the opposite sex. When I was in highschool, my pretty classmates always gets gifts whenever Valentine's day come. Some other boys from different sections, sometimes even from our section, have roses and chocolates with lovenotes delivered to our classroom, while I have none. I was thinking, maybe it's not yet for me, although I have secret crushes back then.

And then finally somebody noticed me. He was introduced by someone I know, he courted me for more than a month before I accepted him. We we're happy at first, he walks we home after class. We help each other with our homeworks, go out on movie dates with our friends. I thought he's the one for me.....not until I caught him unexpectedly, holding hands with another girl, inside the campus, imagine my surprise at that time. I really didn't think that he could cheat on me like that. I stopped talking to him, I wouldn't want to hear his lies. And that was my very first heartbreak.

Are you ready ( for married life ) ?

I thought I was ready, but I was wrong. Should've finished my studies first before I got myself into a marriage which turned out bad.

You see, I was only 18 when I eloped with my late husband. I don't know why I did that, maybe because I was young and naive at that time. I turned a blind eye on things or signs that warned me that I am getting myself into trouble. I should've listened to what people arround me are saying about what kind of life I'd be living if I marry him. But I didn't and got married anyway.

Yes, they were right all along. 24 years of marriage but I can count on my fingers the times I felt happy during those years. It was a marriage full of lies, on his part. He cheated on me so many times. Even got hooked on illegal drugs, there was a time I he even tried to kill me, if not for our youngest son, he would've strangled me to death. I never said anything to anyone, I don't want my family to know what I am going through.

The only thing that came out good of our narriage are my kids. They didn't take on after their father, and I thank God for that. They cheer me up when their father left us for another woman, much younger than me. They say it's ok, let him be, they won't leave me no matter what. They even said that I ought to find someone else too. That's how much my kids love me, because they are witnesses to what their father has done to me.

Are you ready ( to join our Creator )?

I find this question a bit difficult to answer. Maybe I am maybe I'm not. Ready because that is where we all are going, the afterlife. We have to be ready because we don't really know when our time will come. That's why I always pray, I pray to thank Him for a new day He has given to me....and I pray to ask for forgiveness for all the wrong that I have done.

And not ready, because my kids are still young to not have a mother by their side to guide them and to take care of them. I can't imagine not being with them, not being able to touch them, kiss them, hug them or talk with them. I always say that if I die, I'd stay here with them so I can always be with them. I would refuse going up to Heaven, I will stay here in the world of the living.

And that's it for now, my phone is going to shutdown again 😅 Got to save so I can buy a new one.