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When I woke up to pee, I felt weird: happy, irritated, and confused recalling my own dream last night.
So that's how it takes to have a deep sleep huh? I always thought I wasn't able to define the word "sleep" anymore because I don't know already what it's like to have a decent sleep.
When I was a child I always have this sleep disorder that I kept defeating. Whenever my muscle felt that uneasy sensation, joint pain sometimes, I can't sleep no matter what I do. It became a habit, a routine, an endless dealing of not having a good sleep.
I remember my father always giving me treats when he came home. It was not the usual treat for a kid but pain relievers, oils, and mint inhalers for me to ease the tingling muscles at night and help me fall asleep.
He always massages my legs or caresses my hair every night for me to fall asleep.
My sleep disorder worsen when my father died.
I planned to make an article but when I laid on a bed at 10 pm last night, it was like I was punched in the face by a boxer. I was knocked out by the heavy feeling of my head. Then, I wake up at 5 am. I had a solid 7 hours of sleep last night. Omg, I wish every night would be like that.
It was a blessing to sleep through the night. Haha, I haven't experienced that for yearssss.
So going back to the title, haha. I had a dream which means I had entered the rem state of sleep.
I dreamed that Jb came to visit our house and said that we are about to go somewhere beautiful.
I trust him so much that I feel safe wherever he takes me. By the way, I am facing my trauma too in driving a motorcycle. I knew how to ride a bike but knowing that my father died because of a motorcycle made me forget my dream of riding one on my own.
I just tried for the first time and I can now balance the motorcycle even with someone at the backseat for additional weight. But! I'm still terrified to ride with obstacles(big vehicles, dogs, etc) sometimes I hold the throttle tighter instead of pulling the break, which isn't right. Hahaha
So there, in my dream, I was wearing a loose shirt, jeans, and sneakers. I like wearing a comfortable outfit, knowing that it's summer and I don't wear dresses(for now, because I don't have one, lol). I only wear a dress when it's an important occasion and I have no choice😂.
There we arrived somewhere, so peaceful and the environment was so clean.
Few walks and then there's a small building-a church. We often visit some old churches during our day tour here in our province so going inside didn't bother me.
I was about to sit down when my friends approached me-some of our classmates and prof in college. They congratulate me/us, I didn't know what was happening until I saw some of the brides and grooms lining up to the front of the church. I was so confused but somehow realized that there will be a wedding.
Brides were wearing white dresses and high heels. When someone pushed me that I need to be there too, Jb was in the groom's line. I freaked out. I give Jb a deadly stare because we're not even engaged!
We talked about it several times that for me it is very important to honor my parent and uncles(since papa died already). That is a special event of my life, I want them to be there if not, at least they knew and we have permission.
In my dream, Jb knew everything that are about to happen and he was just smiling and convincing me to go there with the brides. I was pissed off. I never thought that it could happen just that.
Are they joking? I mean, I dreamed of it. I guess it's every girl's dream to marry the man they love. Weddings should be special, intimate, and mutual events. I was wearing jeans and they were wearing dresses, omg. Aren't brides should be beautiful on their wedding day? I looked plain and lost for that event. Hahaha
I didn't cooperate, instead, I went outside and leave him. Haha
Then I felt like peeing, I heard roosters sound their good morning greetings, then I woke up.
Was I that stubborn? That's a big day and I can't just let that be ruined, I mean ruined by a not-so-funny dream.
I love mama so much and I don't want to be married if I don't have her consent.
I know it'll going to happen but it will make that day extra special having the people that I love around me.
How about your wedding? Do you have someone you know that said "I do" without their parent's permission? (aside from Sarah G.)
I mean if they are adults maybe it's cool, but for me, this is my take on this matter😊.