Why does it have to fail?

I will like to write on relationships today slightly from my experience. I've been working on my attitude in my relationship with people lately and I'm glad about that my progress 😊😊

Like they always say Attitude are more important and weakness of Attitude becomes weakness of character and I sincerely feel if we sort of dedicate time to watch and take precautions on things we say, how we react and handle matters, we might has well be saved from a whole lot of drama or argument ment to surface, we really need to be intentional about keeping peace and letting go of certain things not because we are stupid but so that everywhere can be tension free and trust me no one likes to have a quarrelsome or nagging partner so sometimes letting go of things might just be the best thing.

I discovered lots of times we get carried away and pay less attention to our spouses behavior, mood, body language. Sometimes we need to raise questions when we notice some sort of changes, failure to do this might send a signal that you don't care and what ever happens to them isn't your business , trying to find out things from our partner most especially if is a negative change speak volumes and indirectly means you're a good observer and it shows you truly know them...... coming from me I can't stand a partner that isn't smart enough to know or detect I'm at my lowest moment is more of a tune off of me. And also to those that their partner are care free maybe due to lot of responsibility or stress from work we can as well try to discuss our worries because they didn't notice our pain doesn't make them less of a better person.

The first and healthy way to exhibit a healthy relationship is never put yourself in a situation where you feel obliged to do something because you feel in debted to your partner, letting your partner feel entitled like he or she owns you is the beginning of failed relationship. If your partner is giving you some thing because he/she wants something in return is a bad act, always remember no money or gift in this world can buy you because are priceless and special, like they say remember to state your ground in every relationship. No relationship between two people can survive if it is based on material things or benefits, never give things to your partner with expectations that they will love or like you, in the same token when people give you gifts it doesn't ne cessarily mean they love you.

To add to this point a reasonable woman or man should be able to identity moment when people want to exploit, manipulate or take advantage of them. Furthermore it is important we learn to use our magic words to have a healthy marriage and relationship example of such words are PLEASE, SORRY, THANK YOU, PARDON ME.

These words like they say are magical and they help resolve, eradicate tension, likewise create beautiful and stronger bound between partners, Saying THANK YOU to your spouse when they go miles for you shows gratitude, love, respect and sense of acknowledgement on what they have done.......... I want to ask us a question, does anyone know why people find it difficult to apologise to their partner because most people don't know saying sorry mean and tell alot about us, E.g saying sorry shows we are noble, kindness, dignified, matured, sensible and good hearted. Saying sorry doesn't only give moral guidance but also get rid of bad feelings and unnecessary hatred towards ur spouse, from findings I have also realise that Saying sorry to someone expecially your partner even when you aren't at fault gives room for correction and might make the person solemn and wanting to accept their mistakes and then apologise too.

In executing a healthy relationship there is need to always try in pleasing your spouses, adore, respect and express great affection towards them. Example of going extra mile is planning a surprise birthday party that is more than just a present card, sometimes pushing yourself to do something new might be just the spark that your relationship needs.

Another problem experienced by couples is the idea of keeping friends of opposite sex in either a relationship or marriage I think strongly having a opposite sex best friends shows you are choosing and periotising someone else over your spouse and the fact that the person is even an opposite sex can stare up fight or tension in your relationship, for some reason or the other, competition and comparism starts to surface basically I think your partner is suppose to even be your best friend because I believe the foundation for every relationship is friendship don't get me wrong I'm not saying because of your spouse you should not socialise or make friends rather I'm just saying never make your partner feel less important or treat other people around you better than him or her because it is our job to encourage them to find their paths/ ambition, we should never put them down, ridicule their dreams, belittle their plans or laugh at them and always give them your best.

And still on the episode of giving your best let me take you on a memory line a couple of years back I meet a woman that hate her husband soo much because of some previous mistake committed by her husband, she basically transferred all the aggression on him even after so many years passed because she wasn't willing to forgive and let go so she started disrespecting her husband, she prefer to serve the visitors like queen or king and use the best cutlery in her home to serve guests, she forgot her husband was meant to be her first priority, he was supposed to use the best of the best because she was bent on taking revenge she didn't realise that for ever minute she remain angry, she gave up sixty second of peace of mind and sanity to cut the long story short she lost her life because of high blood pressure that must have been from excess overthinking and sadness she intentionally ventured in be cause she was unwilling to forgive....... I know she regret and wished things were done differently because nobody wish to die untimely. So what I'm simply saying is unforgiving spirit is bad most expecially in relationship because nobody is perfect and sometimes our spouses might mistakenly hurt us but we should learn to always forgive and move pass it.

Lead picture from Unsplash

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