There are many things you can do to get your sex life back on track, whether the issue is big or small. Your sexual well-being and your overall mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing go hand in hand. Communicating with your partner, keeping a balanced lifestyle, taking advantage of some of the many great materials on the market for self-help, and just having fun will help you weather rough times.
Enjoying a sex life with satisfaction
Sex. A kaleidoscope of feelings can be evoked by the term. The responses are as complex as the sexual encounters themselves, from passion, enthusiasm, and tenderness to longing, anxiety, and disappointment. What's more, in the course of a sex life spanning many decades, several people will experience all these feelings and several others.
On one stage, sex is yet another bodily feature powered by hormones programmed to perpetuate the species. Of course, the magnitude of the human sexual response is overlooked by that narrow view. Your experiences and aspirations help shape your sexuality, in addition to the biochemical forces at work. In your ability to build and sustain a fulfilling sex life, your view of yourself as a sexual being, your opinions on what constitutes a satisfactory sexual bond, and your relationship with your partner are key factors.
Speaking with your partner
Even under the best of conditions, many couples find it hard to talk about sex. When there are sexual issues, feelings of pain, embarrassment, remorse, and anger will completely halt conversation. Since good communication is a pillar of a healthy relationship, the first step not only to a better sex life but also to a stronger emotional connection is the establishment of a conversation. Here are some tips to approach this delicate issue.
Find the best time to converse. There are two forms of sexual conversations: the ones in the bedroom that you have and the ones somewhere that you have. In the middle of lovemaking, it's perfectly appropriate to tell your partner what feels amazing, but it's better to wait until you're in a more neutral place to address bigger problems, such as mismatched sexual desire or problems with orgasm.
Stop making critiques. In constructive words, Couch suggestions, such as, "I really love it when you lightly touch my hair that way," rather than dwelling on the negatives. Approach a sexual problem as a question to be addressed together rather than an exercise in blame assignment.
Trust your partner about your body's shifts. Speak to your partner about these stuff if hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has left your vagina dry. Instead of taking these physical changes as a lack of interest, it is much easier for him to know what is really going on. Similarly, if you're a guy and you don't just get an erection from the idea of sex anymore, teach your girlfriend how to stimulate you rather than make her think she's not sexy enough to excite you anymore.
Be truthful. You might think that by faking an orgasm, you're shielding your partner's feelings, but you're really starting down a slippery slope. As difficult as it is to speak about any sexual issue, once the problem is buried under years of lies, hurt, and frustration, the difficulty level skyrockets.
Using techniques for self-help
It is simpler now than ever before to handle sexual issues. If you need them, innovative drugs and competent sex therapists are there. But by making a few changes in your lovemaking style, you can be able to repair minor sexual problems. Here are a few things at home that you can try.
Educate yourself. For every type of sexual problem, plenty of good self-help materials are available. To help you and your partner become better informed about the problem, browse the Internet or your local bookstore, select a few resources that apply to you, and use them. You and your partner can emphasize passages that you particularly like and show them to each other if talking directly is too difficult.
Giving time to yourself. Your sexual responses slow down as you age. By finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex, you and your partner can improve your chances of success. Also, know that your body's physical changes mean that you'll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. It's not a bad thing to spend more time having sex when you think about it; working these physical necessities into your routine of lovemaking can open doors to a new kind of sexual experience.
Lubrication use. Often, with lubricating liquids and gels, the vaginal dryness that begins at perimenopause can be easily corrected. Use these freely to prevent painful sex, a problem that can snowball into libido flagging and relationship tensions growing. Discuss other options with your doctor when lubricants no longer work.
Maintain physical fondness. To maintain an emotional and physical bond, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential even if you are tired, tense, or upset about the problem
Touching practice. Without feeling pressured, the sensitive focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you restore physical intimacy. Many books and educational videos for self-help offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to request that your partner touch you in a way that he or she would like to be touched. This will give you a better sense of how much pressure you should use, from gentle to firm.
Try different stances. Not only does the development of a repertoire of different sexual positions add interest to lovemaking, but it can also help overcome issues. The enhanced stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man from behind enters his partner will help the woman achieve orgasm, for instance.
Write your fantasies down. This exercise will help you explore potential behaviors for you or your partner that you think could be a turn-on. Try to think of an encounter or a movie that aroused you and then share with your partner your memory. For people with little ambition, this is particularly helpful.
Do Kegels exercise. By exercising their pelvic floor muscles, both males and females may enhance their sexual fitness. Tighten the muscle you would use if you were attempting to avoid midstream urine in order to perform these exercises. Keep for two or three seconds for the contraction, then release. 10 times to repeat. Try to do five sets a day. When driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line, these exercises can be completed anywhere. At home, to add muscle resistance, women can use vaginal weights. Speak to your doctor about where to get them and how to use them, or to a sex therapist.
Try to relax. Until you have sex, do something soothing together, like playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try methods for relaxation, such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.
Make use of a vibrator. This tool will help a woman learn about her own sexual reaction and encourage her to demonstrate what she likes to her partner.
Don't give up. If it seems like none of your efforts are working, don't give up hope. Your doctor will also be able to determine the cause of your sexual problem and will be able to identify therapies that are successful. He or she may also bring you in contact with a sex therapist who can assist you to discuss concerns that could stand in the way of a satisfying sex life.
I can take note of this. Hehe